Fear of Lying

[PaperTigers]

So I'm giving myself a complex here after saying something tonight that I believed to be true then quickly realized may not have been accurate. Specifically when a hospitalization (psyche. ward) occured years ago and the events that led up to those 2-3 weeks (can't even remember for sure).Basically I told someone what I thought brought on the breakdown that brought me there (I've been in the loony bin a number of times, it's unclear due to the state I was in) but after I said it questioned if those things occurred in the order I remembered them. Then I thought they'd think I lied because maybe it occured in a different order and I can't stop obsessing over whether or not I remembered those events correctly. I was worrying about it the whole way home and have been running it on repeat in my head ever since it happened. I don't know how to get off this track in my brain.

I have been through this before, I am constantly clarifying things in conversations to avoid lying because I hate lying. I sent a text to the friend I was talking to when it happened and she understands that I don't remember for sure but that wasn't enough to reassure me. I know this is reassurance seeking and a big no no when it comes to OCD but has anyone had a similar experience?

[SCC1]

Yes, I have. (This might be a little different than what you are experiencing, but I think it is related.) When I'm talking to my therapist or people trying to help me. I try to get everything right so I feel like I'm complete. I don't want anything left open, because I need her/them to know where I'm coming from. I worry people will think I've lied to them if I don't say everything and then all of a sudden mention something they had no knowledge of. I think they will look at that as me not being honest/trying to hide things.I also try to get things right so no one can accuse me of not telling them something when it might've really been important for THEIR well-being. I don't want to be the person who left out information because I couldn't think clearly and then accused of something I had left unsaid.

The intense need to be correct and accurate has been good and not. I feel like I have to tell every aspect of what I know to be true, but sometimes I think it might be too much for another person to care about or need to know.

I think it's okay not to be perfect because that puts so much pressure on us. It's okay to leave something unsaid and not worry about it. If something is really that important, which of course many things are, I think "we" would remember to say them.

[MothFir]

This was a big part of my scrupulosity for many years. I worried I had said something untrue, and I also worried that I had to treat every statement I made as if it was a binding pact or I would be guilty of saying something untrue in retrospect. So if I made some offhand remark like, "Oh that road is dangerous and I never drive on it," I felt like I was now forbidden from ever driving on that particular road or else I would have said something that proved untrue.

You should recognize this as OCD and try not to ruminate on it. Communicate like a normal, well-meaning person who may exaggerate, get some facts mixed up, introduce bias, and give wrong impressions, and don't compulsively try to correct these "problems." Going back and "clarifying" things unnecessarily will only feed your OCD and drive people nuts.

I've posted a lot about the things that have helped me stop ruminating and to "get off the track" of repetitive thoughts -- you should be able to find some of those comments in my reply history, if you think it might help.

[deValentin]

I’ve been obsessionally bothered by my inability to be absolutely sure I gave the right information to somebody else. My way of treating that issue is to usually pay enough attention when I give information to others, especially when the information is important, to be reasonably sure it’s accurate. If I’m not sure, I tell them I’m not sure. The temptation is to try to be absolutely sure all information I give is accurate, which is not possible. Seeking absolute certainty and not being able to get it makes me anxious. That anxiety disposes me to believe the worst-case scenario and I tell myself: “If I’m so anxious about it, it must mean I gave the wrong information and that’s the end of the world”. This type of reasoning is wrong. That anxiety simply means that I’m not satisfied with reasonable evidence that the information provided is correct, and I want a degree of certainty I can’t get. So, every time I’m tempted to question myself too much about the accuracy of information I give, I wait for the passing of time to put an end to that temptation.