Hi everyone! I don't come on here as much anymore because I've been going to therapy and doing a lot better lately, but right now I'm having a major flare up and I don't know what to do. I just went to therapy yesterday, so I have to wait an entire week to go back and ask her about this. Today I came across an article that was talking about schizophrenia/psychosis. I'm now extremely paranoid I'm going to develop these and lose control of myself and something awful will happen. I can't stop analyzing myself and seeing if I seem like it's happening/going to happen to me. It's been 2 hours now that I've been ruminating and it's just getting worse (ive been home alone, my mom's coming home now). The more I ruminate about it the worse my anxiety is getting, now I'm hysterically crying. I don't know how to do ERP for this right now cuz it's all.making it worse. I usually tell myself something like "I may or may not know if XYZ will happen, I will accept the uncertainty and move on " but it is NOT working in this situation. I posted a similar post on the NOCD app, and someone who actually had experienced psychosis commented and said all the ways to know if you're about to to have a psychotic episode which made it so much worse. He said something like "well just make sure you don't believe in an alternate universe and if you do tell someone". I freaked out even more because my existential OCD has always made me panic that what if everything isn't real and theres other realities I'm not aware of, etc. Please help I don't know how to snap myself out of this one šnothing is distracting me. This is my worst flare up in so long. I've been going a week at a time with virtually no symptoms and only slight flare ups until now.
P.s the original post I read about psychosis was to do with having a "mental health crisis" and it was listing the warning signs and talked about psychosis. And the person who posted it said they had a mental health crisis when their OCD was at its worst. I don't understand how I'm supposed to just calm down about something like this. My biggest fear is losing control of myself and having my intrusive thoughts come true, which is basically what psychosis is. I didn't completely know this until now. I knew I wasn't in control of my thoughts, but I was comfortable because my therapists always reminds me im in control of my mind and my actions. Reading about psychosis just ruined this for me.
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Youāre definitely not alone, believe me. Mine is severe today too, as was last night. The past week I was doing fine myself, then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I keep seeing articles/news, relating to my OCD, and itās been freaking me out, making me believe Iām some monster also, or that my intrusive thoughts would come true as well. My thoughts are constantly fighting with my brain today too. Iāve been playing āEpisodeā on my phone, itās where thereās thousand of stories people create, and itās an interactive game you can play through/read. Itās taken my mind off of it somewhat, but I know tonight when I go out around my boyfriends younger brother or other kids, Iām sure my OCD will be terrible, as itās relating to sexual intrusive thoughts around children. Just know youāre NOT alone, and this OCD is like some big bad bully, gaining up with anxiety, and intrusive thoughts, and theyāre beating your brain up. I keep trying to talk positive to myself, giving myself some positive comments, or reassure myself that nothing would ever happen, and Iām obviously a good person, or I wouldnāt feel bad for these thoughts in the first place. Just remind yourself of that. Youāre a wonderful person, and the intrusive thoughts are like lesions, that pray on your innocence and theyāre trying to bring you down with them. Iāve had thoughts of becoming schizophrenic myself, or that Iād need to be locked away in some hospital or jail because my thoughts, but this is because the OCD is telling yourself this. Today, is a really bad day, but try and trick your brain, tell yourself āhey, yesterday was a good day, or even this week, tomorrow will be a good day too, just today is a bad dayā I promise you can beat this, we both can! If you need to talk at all, Iām here always!
Thanks so much Alexis. I love this app so much more than the NOCD app forum (not sure if youāve tried it). People on there arenāt as compassionate and end up saying things to make it worse. Its funny, it seems like the longer I do the better, the harder it is when I have a flare up. This is a hard one for me, Iāve always had such a fear of losing control. Someone on the NOCD app whos super into meditation told me, āthere probably are multiple dimensions I kid you not!ā. Awful for me considering meditation was a super trigger for me at one point and the idea that its taking you to a different reality or whatever. Im sorry youāre having a flare up as well, youāre right - weāll both get through this!! I wish I had 24 hr access to my therapist, I always seem to have a flare up when shes not around/when i dont have an appointment coming up thanks again for the response youāre awesome
Hi Disney - Not long after I was diagnosed with OCD, my doctor told me to stop trying to figure things out. (Easier said than done) Your post today reminds me of this, trying really hard to figure out your fears. Remember that none of us in these forums are experts, so try not to take EVERYTHING from EVERYONE so literally. YOU are real, and your life is real, and we all love you on this forum. That is real. You just have OCD like the rest of us do. Many of our OCD experiences take on different themes, but OCD lies to ALL of us with ALL of the themes. Your OCD has lied to you a LOT today. I am so glad you have bonded with your therapist. My doctor told me when I was having severe OCD, that I wasn't psychotic, just on the far end of neurotic. By the time you see your therapist again, you will probably be seeing things a lot more clearly, just as you were before. Anyway, you know that we care about you. I said a prayer for you.
Thanks Sunn-E, this just warmed my heart so much I actually teared up a bit. Youāve always been such a help/support ā¤ļø. Thank you for reminding me of all of these things. Sometimes OCD clouds my mind so much that it seems hard to access all of this knowledge in me. Iām hoping Iāll get better at it over time. Actually - I know Iāll get better with it over time. Iāve started to catch myself already and pull myself back out of the cycle - a lot quicker than I wouldāve a few months ago. Setbacks are to be expected I suppose. My therapist reminds me a lot to not focus on perfection with all of it, something I tend to do! Thank you for saying a prayer for me, I really believe in its power. Youāre a sweet soul. Have a good night (assuming its night where you are!) ā¤ļø
Hi Disney girl, my heart goes out to you. OCD is so destructive and though Iām not sure what to say to make you feel better, It needs a swift kick from you. Okay, so all these feelings, thoughts, torment is hitting you on all ends...Obserb how you are feeling and accept it all, almost as if you are looking from afar, floating above it all as to say. Just accept it and now get on with your day, do something you need to do knowing OCD anxieties is trying to destroy you.....just keep on walking keep on walking one moment at a time .....it should subside in time......
Is there any way to email or call your therapist today? It really seems you could use another session while you are experiencing such torment-seriously, Iāve been there. Anyway, You sound like you could use a big hug so here it comesā¤ļø
I will be thinking of you and will send you a prayer for such peace.
Let that beautiful light that I believe is called the sun, warm and brighten your day.š Is t is so nice to see the sun for a change isnāt it?
Hi Aleese! Hope you've been well. I thought about emailing my therapist to schedule another session, but since tomorrow is already Friday I don't think she'd be able to fit me in. I'm also nervous to reach out to her, I don't want her to get annoyed. We've never talked about whether or not I'm allowed to reach out to her during the week. I'm sure I can, but my OCD is telling me I can't. My anxiety around this has gone down since I posted this yesterday, but still lingering in the background. Trying to do my best to just be in the present and dismiss the thoughts any time they pop into my head. I'm really scared to do exposures. This week is the first week my therapist gave me an exposure for homework (reading over a sheet that lists all my fears surrounding suicide for 15 minutes). Of course, now the suicide them has taken a backseat and it's all about this new one. I'm honestly frightened to do exposures around the fear of psychosis/schizophrenia, I feel like it's just gonna make it worse. I suppose I need to just trust the process for now. Thanks so much for responding ā¤ļø have a good rest of your day and enjoy the sunshine as well!
Iām so glad to hear from you. Iām sorry for the harshness of OCD on your life the last couple of days....But, glad you are doing a little better. Iām hoping you are able to at least maybe email your therapist? She will not be annoyed at you. That is why you have her, to be helped. You are on the right road and so glad you have your therapist. āIt always looks worse before it gets better.ā And, because you are doing your ERP it could be causing some resistance. I know you are strong and you will get throughšš¼ Please know we are with you and understand the torturing ways of OCD.
Thinking of you and wondering how you are doing? I hope your counseling is going great and that you are making strides with ERP for your OCD. How did you do through your last rough patch, I hope you did okay.
Hi Aleese! So sweet of you to reach out. You know how much I appreciate you, always.
Itās been an interesting week- a lot of ups and downs! I guess thats kind of how healing usually goes. A lot of ups and down in my personal life as well (some family drama from the side of the family I donāt have much contact with, etc.) Hard to deal with these things on top of OCD, but Iām doing my best. As far as the rough patch I mentioned in my last post, it settled down the next day which I was grateful for. Iāll be sure to mention it to my therapist tomorrow! I worked a lot this week which was a decent distraction. I think knowing that I have OCD, and having some of the skills Iāve learned from therapy so far, are what helped me to not turn this psychosis/schizophrenia fear into a full blown obsession. Iām so grateful for therapy, and grateful that you encouraged me to go š. It's funny how a "stranger on the internet" can make such a difference in our lives. Thank you.
This week for ERP my therapist had me read over the "belief sheet" we filled out that lists my fears surrounding suicide for 15 minutes each day and recording my SUDS/anxiety level. It went from a 7 or 8 to now a mostly 1 or 2. It's awesome to see it working. Onto the next one š.
Iām so glad you made it through the rough patch last week. I know OCD can throw some really tough times and then add the other dramas of life to it and itās that much harder. Iām so glad you are liking therapy and you are working on your ERP and your big one, suicide ocd. Nice to see how your suds level has gone down tremendouslyšš¼
Great jobā¼ļø Hope your session goes really well tomorrow and you get a lot out of it.
So sorry for your pain!! Iāve been there tooš¢ stupid ocd morphs!! Mine tried to morph with this theme too. I had this weird thought that people were staring at me. Then another weird thought that I was seeing a lot of black cars!!! What does it MEAN??? I was starting to get super afraid of the thoughts and then going crazy!! Thatās the thing with ocd- it FEELS so real!!!! But itās just our super active, creative brains!! We donāt have control of our thoughts but we have control of ourselves!! As hard as it is, lean into it, let the thoughts come, accept them, and keep doing your life. Itās hard but I know you can do itšŖš»šŖš»šŖš»šš
Thanks so much Wheeloffortune!! Isn't it weird how it morphs? This week my therapist gave me my first exposure for homework -- reading a sheet of paper listing my fears around suicide. Of course that theme hasnt been bothering me as much lately, and OCD decided to morph to this theme the day after my therapy session. It's so scary how real it feels, I have such a fear of not being in control. I finally decided, well I can't control the thoughts but I can control my mind!- until I read about schizophrenia. Trying to just focus on other things every time the fear comes back up since I don't really know how to do exposures for this theme yet! I tried to say something like "I may or may not develop/have schizophrenia, nevertheless I will sit with the uncertainty" but it made it so much worse to say that. Usually when I use that with my other themes, it works. I think this ones harder because I know for sure I have absolutely no control over whether or not I will develop schizophrenia or psychosis. Thanks so much for the reply ā¤ļø
Ocd always tells you āthis is the worst oneā!! And āyouāll never get over this one!!ā Itās so tricky at first, but once you realize itās ocd it gets easier to navigate!! Itās so interesting that all of us have similar issues as far as themes!! OCD wants us to think itās smart but itās actually quite repetitive!!
My sonās OCD is all about fearing that he may have schizophrenia, and he does scripts in which he he writes out his exposure ā that this is indeed his worst fear and all the bad things that will result from it. This is OCD. Continue to use your strategies. Dealing with OCD is like playing wack-a-mole. Once you deal with one symptom, another one tries to pop up. It can be scary and painful, but no matter how it manifests, it is all the same. We have to use our strategies as a lifestyle and lean into it every day. š
Thanks so much tcba, Iām sorry your son has to deal with this as well š at the same time Iām glad to know Iām not alone. Exposures are so scary, especially around this theme. I just started doing exposures with me therapist this week (surrounding a different theme that of course has now decided to be on the backburner). Thank you so much for this encouragement, you are SO right. ā¤ļø
Yeah, this one is brutal... well, all OCD is brutal, but I struggled with this a lot and exposures are just like any other theme... throw yourself into it. I struggle with the fear of schizophrenia or fear psychotic breaks so I would listen to or watch schizophrenia simulations. Also, writing scripts is helpful or telling yourself that āyep, I have schizophrenia and I will have a psychotic break and everyone else is wrongā... sit in the uncertainty just like any other exposure. This include existential fears, because even if that which you fear existentially is true there isnāt anything you can do about it, so expose yourself and accept it... sitting in the discomfort without ruminating or doing anything is key. Anyways, I have done a ton of exposures for schizophrenia, psychosis, depersonalization/derealization, and existential fears so feel free to ask away... youāre not alone my friend!
Thanks hellnocd! This week is the first week my therapist has thrown me into exposure work. Weāre doing it around my suicidal OCD, with the first exposure being to read the sheet of paper she gave me which lists my fears surrounding suicide over and over for 15 minutes. Of course, my suicidal OCD seems to be on the backburner a bit, so its not really effecting me much. Sigh. I hope Iām doing it right. The exposures youāre talking about seem intense, I definitely donāt think I could handle that right now, hopefully soon I will be. I think my therapist is taking it slow, hopefully thats right. Up until this week it was mostly just learning challenging back statements āmay or may...nevertheless....ā etc. I sure have a long way to go, but Iāve been doing a lot better for the most part. I admire all the exposure work youāve done. Thanks so much for the reply and Iām glad to know you have the exact same themes, I will definitely be reaching out with questions in the future! Thank you.
Iām sorry youāre going through a rough patch right now but I know you can and will get through this. The fear of psychosis is just another scare tactic that OCD is using to keep you chained up. I too used to worry a lot about ālosing my mindā or developing schizophrenia. One helpful thing my therapist told me about this was that people who have schizophrenia or experience hallucinations are not aware that they are seeing or hearing things. So not to give you too much reassurance, but the fact that youāre questioning this in the first place is enough evidence for me to conclude that you are definitely not experiencing psychosis.
As far as what that person commented on the other app, we do not know their mental health background and if the information theyāre providing is accurate - or if theyāre even under the care of a medical professional. Maybe what theyāre saying is true and did happen to them, but we canāt know that for sure so thereās no point in giving this information validity especially because of how much itās upsetting you. Normally with this type of intrusive thought I would write scripts or just write phrases like āwhat if Iām schizophrenicā or āwhat if Iām crazyā. I know it isnāt working for you at the moment but I promise if you stick with it and keep up the repetition your brain WILL get bored with the idea and youāll be able to let it go. Donāt let OCD make you feel this way, you deserve so much better!
Hi MyOcd123!! Sorry for the late reply! Thanks so much for this. You're responses are always so helpful. You're such a kind person. Thanks for letting me know that about those experiencing schizophrenia/psychosis -- I actually had no idea, and I think me not knowing at all what really goes on was fueling my fire. And thanks for pointing out that i should take what others say with a grain of salt- we can't know whether or not the info is valid. Yesterday my therapist just taught me the scripts and phrases you're talking about and I think they'll be really helpful. Even just writing things down a few times seems to somehow put it in perspective a little more. I hope you're doing well, you're such an encouragement to me that we can all improve
Thank you for your kind words! I have such faith in you that you will keep up the hard work and continue to make progress! Thereās always going to be set backs, but just remember they are only temporary. You got this! š
Hello I see itās been two years I am a bit late to respond lol! I hope you are doing better these days. I am wondering if you were ever able to over come this fear? I am currently suffering from the exact same thing and it feels like Iāll never get over it. Iām scared to turn my lights off to go to bed incase I hear voices or see things although I never have. Is there any tips you could give me? Hope your well!
Hi!! Wow, so weird looking back on this post! Iām sorry youāre suffering right now- I hope this post helped you know youāre not alone in these thoughts. I am doing much, much better these days. Please hear me out when I say you will absolutely get through this. It may feel like you wonāt, but Iāve gotten to a place in life with my OCD that I couldāve never imagined possible when I was struggling so badly like I was in this post. I know how god awful it is while youāre stuck in this OCD cycle. I was scared of the same things you described. I had many different themes of OCD, but my therapist and I treated them all the same. ERP and CBT are the gold standard for OCD treatment. Learning to tolerate the uncertainty of whether or not a fear was real or would come true. Itās something I still have to practice and always will, but I am night and day compared to how I was. With this theme, I used ERP to do imaginal exposures by writing scripts. I donāt want to trigger you by writing out an example- but basically I write out a story of what my mind tells me would happen if I were to develop these mental illnesses. Describe how Iād feel in that moment, what I would do, how it would look, and what the worst part of it all would be. Then, I would read the script in my head and out loud for about 10-20 minutes, while making sure to not engage in any compulsions and just sitting with the anxiety that comes up without trying to change it. If you google ERP imaginal exposure scripts you should find examples. I highly recommend finding a therapist who specializes in treating OCD with ERP if you do not have one already!! They will help you with all of this. Over time your brain will stop responding to these thoughts with so much urgency. When youāre triggered and having these thoughts during the day, I recommend using CBT tools. What helps me the most is to talk back to my intrusive thoughts. āThanks OCD. Thatās an interesting thought, but I donāt need to pay attention to this right now. Iām going to go back to focusing on the things I value, like the cup of tea Iām drinking right nowā. Mindfulness and grounding techniques also helped me to do this. Moreover, do your best to not engage in compulsions when these thoughts arise- including reassurance, googling the thoughts, ruminating about the thoughts, etc. Try to ride the wave of anxiety without trying to change it. Acceptance of thoughts and feelings helps us to not make them grow bigger. I hope this helps a bit. My OCD journey has been a long one, but one Iāve ended up grateful for. Do not lose hope. I will be praying for you my friend. You have a great life ahead of you.
Also- I just read your post on your profile. You sound so much like me. I am 21 now, and was 18 when my OCD really started to act up. I was in a really hard place in life after my grandfather passed away and I had recently dropped out of college, somewhat due to my declining mental health. I, too, self diagnosed myself when my googling compulsion led me to find OCD and really look more into it. I came on this app and found people like me who were saying the same things I was experiencing. I found a lot of information online about ERP that helped me in the meantime before I found a therapist. I will say though that a therapist was really important for me for accountability and overall support. Please please find one when youāre able to. Thatās not to say you canāt improve and feel a lot better on your own, but if you can at some point get a therapist itās really great. I recommend these books to learn about OCD and ERP on your own- The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield, Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson, Getting Over OCD by Jonathan Abramowitz. Also, some accounts I follow on instagram really help me as well including @obsessivelyeverafter, @mindonfire_ocd, @kimberleyquinlan, @ocdnashville, @ocddoodles, @yourmindisamuscle, @life_without_anxiety. I probably seem weird writing such long messages, but I just really relate to you and it feels like looking back on a younger version of myself. Iām sorry this is happening to you during such a strange and scary time in the world. Like I said before, please know life with OCD can be so fulfilling and wonderful. It is a fraction of my life, an annoying background character lol. Message me any time and Iāll do my best to get back to you as soon as I can. ā¤ļø
Wow. I cannot thank you enough. Genuinely from the bottom of my heart thank you. I canāt express how much your words have helped me. I wasnāt even expecting a response at all! I hope it wasnāt difficult or triggering to look back on your previous worries. I am so glad to know you are doing better. I wouldnāt wish OCD on my worst enemy, however there is nothing more comforting that finding someone who has dealt with the same problems as you, and even better, has managed to overcome them! I am so moved by everyoneās kindness on this app. As you can tell I was having a very bad night last night, caused by a difficult week for my OCD in general. Itās been very on and off for the past year. It lead me to googling to see if there was anyone with a similar experience. In doing so I stumbled upon your original post and thatās what pushed me to make an account just so I could join this group - which in turn has opened me up to so many people much like me and helped me to eliminate that lonely feeling. Today has been better but itās hard for it to fully go away as Iām sure you know all too well. I will absolutely consider going to therapy as soon as I am able to. I almost just keep waiting for it to get ābad againā and then it will go away and I think Iām all better, and it just comes back. Which is something Iāll just have to come to terms with. And in addition to that I am kind of scared to face my fears, and also something about me is scared of maybe going on medication as itās something Iāve never done before. Donāt apologise for the long messages lol, mines are probably longer! In my entire lifetime of mental health struggles - nothing has made me feel more empowered and hopeful. Too much to say really. Thank you again. I think this is the final push for me to get real help and get an actual diagnosis. ā¤ļø
Wow... you keep sounding more and more like me itās actually crazy lol. If you look back in my profile I have a post where I talk about wondering if I still needed a therapist or not because I was doing pretty well, and I asked people if I should wait to get bad again (answer was no lol). This really kind woman who was my rock on this app at the time commented and encouraged me to go try it out for at least one appointment. Best decision Iāve made in my life. Not only that, but I also didnāt want to go because of a fear of medication. Luckily I never ended up going on medication because its not necessarily required for OCD as its more of a behavioral issue. I didnāt like the idea of medication because it triggers my fear of not being in control. Which is definitely kinda irrational because many people benefit from it greatly. With OCD, medication itself doesnāt treat it, ERP is the main treatment. Medication can just help to calm anxiety to make it easier for people to face their fears when doing ERP. From my own experience, the pain I felt when avoiding my fears doing compulsions was actually far worse than confronting them. When I began ERP it gave me hope and actually calmed me down because it gave me a sense of heading in the right direction. Iām so happy to hear my past posts are helping people in the present- not gonna lie, I actually cried reading your message. I have really never seen someone who sounds SO similar to me. Looking back on some of my older posts actually make me laugh, but at the time they feel so real. āRecoveryā from OCD is great. I feel like myself again and you will too. I realized Iāve had OCD my whole life (most of us with OCD have as its more of a brain disorder), it just kinda laid dormant and popped up in small ways like being afraid to sleep alone, or always asking my parents for reassurance when I was little that I was āgonna be okayā. But anyway- my point is, I feel back to my old self, except that when my brain/OCD acts up, I can recognize it now and know I have the tools and strategies to deal with it, whereas before I was diagnosed with OCD I didnāt. For that reason, I actually would say Iām a lot happier and stronger now. I never thought Iād be a ānormalā 21 year old, having fun with my friends and making memories without my thoughts ruining everything I do. But I am, in a non-pandemic world hahaha. Donāt get me wrong, I still have flare ups with OCD when Iām dealing with extra stress in life, but its much easier to bounce back when youāve learned how to deal with it. I really do see a great future for you, I know weāve only sent a couple messages back and forth but you sound like a mature and bright 18 year old and I think youāll do really well with all of this. Let me know if I can ever help in any way- even if its just to run something by me youāre experiencing that youāre wondering if itās OCD/need advice on how to deal with it. Iām obviously not a therapist, but Iāve dealt with enough OCD and the weird symptoms that can come along with it! xo
Thank you again, we definitely have very similar brains lol! Itās very comforting to hear youāve managed all this without medication, my fear of lack of control is the very reason I didnāt want to aswell, all though Iām sure it works for many. I wonder if maybe thatās where most of my obsessions come from too. I have also showed symptoms of OCD my whole life, I just had no idea. Strangely enough though, looking back, they werenāt exactly symptoms of Pure OCD. Those all kind of went away as I grew up, it wasnāt till I was around 14 I experienced really bad hypochondria, I would constantly look up illnesses, convince myself I was dying and get panic attacks if I had to go to the doctors, and when the doctors told me I was completely fine I simply didnāt believe them. Which looking back I see would have been my OCD, I just thought I had anxiety. Health anxiety is still something I deal with occasionally, but itās also something i am able to look back on and recognise I have over come it. Hopefully that will be how I feel about my current situation in a few years time. It wasnāt until I was 16, also struggling with the death of my grandfather, I got one random intrusive thought which distressed me greatly (I had never had anything like it before) which led me to finding out about pure OCD, a strangely liberating experience. But yeah since then ( I turned 18 today) I have basically had every kind intrusive thought imaginable, which seem to target everything good in my life! false memories sometimes too (which scare me even more) However, It seems like one of my biggest fears is just actually having this disorder my whole life. And dealing with it on my own. And facing my fears. It also seems like all of these are all things youāve managed to overcome. Which makes me feel so much better about my future. I will absolutely look into getting therapy as soon as I can before I manage to convince myself that Iām better! Iāll also educate myself on the things I can do to help myself aswell. Genuinely, you have restored my hope. I definitely shed a tear reading your messages! It came exactly when I needed it. Thank you so much for your kind words, I will definitely message you if Iām having a hard time. Itās fascinating to hear from someone with what seems like the exact experience as me! It has been so amazing to talk to you as I often feel this makes me very hard to relate to! I honestly cannot thank you enough.ā¤ļø
So ironic!! My first struggle with my mental health was when I was in 8th grade around 13. For about a year I had what seemed like hypochondria/health anxiety. I had a really small health scare, and it sent me spiraling for about a year. I had a fear of fainting, would think I was dying/having a heart attack, and was convinced something was really wrong with me and they just couldnāt figure out what it was. The doctor would reassure me I was fine but it was never good enough for me. Eventually my school counselor told me it had to be anxiety and worked with me to find some calming strategies (being in class was really triggering for me for some reason, Iād always think I was gonna faint or have something bad happen to my health with all of my friends around). My mental health got a lot better after this and I figured I just had anxiety. Between 13 and 18 I didnāt have any significant issues! Again so ironic you had a similar experience with a death in your family that sparked your OCD to act up. When I learned I had OCD and not just anxiety it really scared me too. I obsessively googled OCD all the time. They actually call this meta OCD and its a common āthemeā people have when they first learn they have OCD. Basically just obsessing over having OCD lol. Anyway, it can sometimes feel like playing whack-a-mole when you have OCD. You get one theme under control and another pops up. But its because the root problem is the OCD and the behaviors we engage in, not the different fears themselves. Basically learning to tolerate uncertainty- which youāll find is the core problem behind every OCD obsession/fear. Once you learn this OCD is honestly pretty easy to manage. Similarly, a fear of not being in control/losing control is a super common thing with OCD. Those two things tend to be the core characteristics. I have āpureā OCD too, which is the same thing as OCD it just means your compulsions are mainly mental. Doesnāt mean its any worse! Anyway lol Iām just kind of rambling, talking about OCD helps me to remind myself and keep mine in check. Happy birthday!! ā¤ļø I wish you well and my dms are always open if you need someone to talk to
Feels like Iām talking to my future self lol!! I have learned more about OCD and myself in the past few days than I have my whole life. Thank you again for your help. I canāt express how calming it has been to speak with you. I wish you the best of luck. Thank you for everything. I will absolutely reach out if I ever need a bit of support. Take care ā¤ļø
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thanks again for the response youāre awesome
Fear of hurting others
ļ»æcan anyone anyone relate?
