I recently got a new book about linear algebra to try and learn the subject. I don't have a math background, but have taught myself a lot from reading and sites like Khan Academy. It' s a pretty abstract area since it deals with many dimensions and not just the three that we live in. It's also heavily behind artificial intelligence so is very relevant today. The book took an interesting angle from other things I read/watched about linear algebra so far, and I started to get some ideas/questions. One of the questions I had inspired me and I thought for a moment that if I pursue the answer to this question it could contribute something unique and original to the subject- or if I even just posed the question on a public forum it could lead someone else to pursue the answer which would lead to a contribution. Just posing the question itself, I thought, would have been an a way for me to share an original idea even if there was never an answer to it. Before I could write it down though, I was distracted by another thought and by the sound of a text message alert. When I then tried to remember the question I intended to write down I couldn't remember it. I thought about it and thought about it yesterday and today but can't remember. Now I'm thinking an important idea that I had is lost.
I've been going through a lot of stress and uncertainty lately in various aspects of my life, and I'm not sure if that is contributing to me getting stuck on this, but in my mind right now I lost a great opportunity to preserve an interesting idea. I'm big on preservation of things like photos and family videos, and get very nostalgic about things. I also place a big emphasis on creativity. In my mind, something important is now lost which I may never remember.
What's going on in my mind? It's an unpleasant state to be in.
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Winchester2022
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It doesn’t sound like OCD but rather like you got distracted from a thought and forgot what it was which happens to everyone. It’s speculation whether the thought could have led to something significant. It may have but maybe it wouldn’t have. It does sound like you’re spending excessive time and effort on it though. When I forget something I wanted to remember, I accept that I can’t remember it and let it go. Sometimes it will come back to me later that day or the next day when I’m not thinking about it.
It's best just to move on from it. Most likely it's not of any importance. It may just resurface and then you can either reclaim it or discard it. The more you stress about it, and try to uncover it, the more elusive it's likely to become. Leave it alone and it may well come back to you.
Often leaving something alone and going back to it later - 'sleeping on it' as they say - helps you to solve a problem. I've often found this - I can be really struggling with a cryptic crossword but if I leave it and go back later, the words just fall into place! The same thing often happens with creative stuff. If I'm really struggling with a piece of writing, then leaving it and going back often has the same effect.
Thoughts can be elusive. There have been mornings when I've just emerged from a vivid dream, and thought, 'That could be a cracking short story!' And then it goes and I can't remember it! (I've heard this happens to other people, too.)
Leave it alone, and if it's worth anything, then it's likely to resurface, or something will remind you of it.
I agree with Sallyskins. If the "something" you thought is important enough, it will come back to you. I think of things as, "if it's meant to happen, it will". I have felt the same about losing an opportunity to contribute something I think will help people. But in my mind, I'm thinking it will help EVERYBODY, like if I don't say it, there will be a great loss to people. I used to try like mad to get the thought back, but after so many times of forgetting it and not being able to recall it, I figure if it was something life-changing (or just really helpful) for others, it would probably come back to me.
Please try not to worry too much. It does feel really uncomfortable, but as others have said, it will happen if it's meant to.
I realize that I am likely over rating the significance of the thought, but part of what makes it hard is I am blaming myself for forgetting it. I lost my inspiration to study because I feel I can’t go forward until remembering the thought. If the forgetting weren’t my fault it might be easier, but I feel like anxiety over something I did the day before (meeting with someone who I had second thoughts of meeting) caused me to not be focused and to forget the thought.
This might be part of a more general problem of needing to feel totally inspired before I can progress at something.
Imo, you just had another type of thought (the meeting). I don't think you should blame yourself because we can't control what or when our minds think of something. You were just distracted by the thought about the meet-up and somehow the forgotten thought went into the background. But, even if you never remember what it was, things will go back to feeling how they did before you forgot it, even if uncomfortable now. Eventually, this situation will pass and will not seem as important as it does now. Just try not to put as much pressure on yourself to remember the thought-that could make things more intense, I think. Try to let the feeling of forgetting the thought, pass naturally.
Really, this may be like letting a OCD thought pass. Don't give it too much power and it will eventually go away. The more you think on what the thought was, your giving more power to that behavior. Then it goes around and around, like a OCD loop. Try not to fight the forgetfulness. Let it happen and take its course. It will go away.
SCC1 Thank you this is helpful. I also think I’m over rating what the insight was due to ocd. Chances are low that in a subject that’s new to me which has been around of 100s of years that I would’ve had an insight on a whim that others hadn’t thought about yet.
I understand the feeling. You can't recover a lost idea that may be significant, and you feel you need to recover it in order to be at peace with yourself. At least, if you recovered it, you could assess its significance, which may appease your mind. You would know what you lost, so you could grieve about it, if it were a significant loss. Now, you can only grieve about the uncertainty, which is more difficult to get over. It's like, in an another order of things, parents learning about the death of a child versus parents learning about its disappearance. The last parents can't find closure. The decision not to let the disappearance of your child ruin the rest of your life is a lot more difficult, because you don't know whether it may reappear in your life at any moment. However, a decision after a while may be the only thing that can save you from a miserable life.
I often have a similar problem. It's connected to OCD - I feel obliged to pursue something entirely trivial obsessively until I have it sorted and can move on to other things. It might be that I've lost something and have trouble doing anything else until I've found it again, or something similar.
The real solution is to leave it - go and have a cup of tea or something - and go back to it later. It does resolve itself. But it can be difficult to let go - I can be like a dog with a bone!
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