Fear of hurting others

Hi guys! I just got diagnosed with OCD and am still in the mood stabilizing phase as my previous medication for anxiety stopped working, but I am taking prozac and finding success with it. I have pretty severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts of scary things. I have been obsessing over the terrible fear that I am going to go crazy and try to hurt my family or others. Then I replay the horrific images of what could happen in my mind. I would never hurt anyone I love and I have never had thoughts like this in my life, but my mind seems to obsess on them. I have full control of my decisions and actions, but I can't get the thoughts out of my head. I am working with my therapist on them, but has anybody else had these fears? Are they normal for OCD? I never want to hurt anybody ever in my life and I don't want to have intrusive thoughts of hurting my loved ones. I need to know I will get over this and things will get better.

[Charlieeee]

I really feel you. I have also obsessions with my fears (but with something bad happening). Like you know the correct answer but your OCD will keep lying to you and will make you believe those things it says to you. What helped me is to accept my thoughts but not give them the power they want. We all have thoughts and fears, bad or good, but its important how much power we give them, and OCD picks the things that are the most important to you, just to trigger you with it, because it knows you will react to it with really powerful emotions. I try to see OCD as a person in my head that just keeps lying to me and if it does I‘ll make fun of those things it says to me because often it really does not make sense or is irrational. Also our OCD will keep obsess about our thoughts because it needs validation in order we can prepar for the outcomes it keeps telling us. But to live in uncertaincy and just taking the things life will give us is the best thing we can do because that is simply life and we are just all humans. And I personally dont think that you will hurt your loved ones. Deep in your heart you clearly know you would never do that or want to do that and your heart ist always stronger than your mind Always remember that OCD is a bully and will keep lying to you.

[avoidingthebadthings]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Yes, this is an OCD symptom. It is very difficult to live with, but when you get on a good medication mix and start doing some helpful therapy, you'll find that it is very possible to not have to live with those thoughts anymore. Things will get better for you. Again, I'm sorry you are experiencing those terrifying thoughts. Sometimes it takes great fortitude to live with OCD, especially when the medication situation is being sorted out. Things will definitely get better. I'm rooting for you!

[JustSayin]

Hi Hidden. I believe you! That sounds scary. Your description reads exactly like other descriptions of OCD that I've read in many resource books. From what I understand, OCD latches on to whatever you care about, so if you were someone who actually could harm your family you wouldn't have these fears. The treatment is freakishly counter intuitive. Reassurance that you won't hurt anyone doesn't help, but saying "yeah maybe I will" might. Also, compassion is huge. Remind yourself that you are not alone, and other people have this same problem. These thoughts are a flaw in the way our brain functions, and it's scary for you and for all of us who have similar issues with their brains. PS - I'm also on Prozac + Guanfacine XR and it has been very helpful. It took a few months to stabilize but as severe as it used to be, sometimes I forget I have OCD now. You're going to get this.

[Meatloafy]

They're very normal. I've read quite a bit about them in my therapy materials, they're a fairly common example. I personally don't have a huge fear of actually doing the things, but I nevertheless do worry about the fact that such impulses are there at all. I worry about what that says about my character. I sometimes have random ugly thoughts about harming children pop up, seemingly without any desire on my part or any logical reason. I try not to worry about that too much; it bothers me, but it probably means nothing.

Sometimes if I have genuine anger towards someone (as opposed to a random thought) I am more troubled about it, but at the end of the day, nothing violent or dangerous comes about, and more often than not I don't even verbally lose my temper. I still worry quite a bit (probably too much) about the anger and what it says about me, but I've learned that the only way to get past that is to believe in forgiveness and not beat oneself up over it. Ideally I wouldn't get angry so much and over so little, but I won't solve my problems by constant self-criticism.

[Natureloverpeace]

Thoughts don’t equal actions. Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean you’re going to act on it. When we attach meaning to these intrusive thoughts, things can spiral out of control. Acknowledge the thought but don’t attach meaning to it. Trying to stop the thoughts will just cause them to grow. Trying to find certainty about an issue isn’t going to happen because it doesn’t exist. No amount of reassurance seeking or compulsions will bring it. This is easier said than done but trust yourself to act on your values, not the lies of the OCD bully.

[DANI13]

Hi,

I'm here for my son. He was on prozac, but this did not work for him. He so sentive to the medication nothing work for him. He has been in many different antidepresant and saw him even more anxiety, and having thouble sleeping. I also note he develop a hipo mania ( excessive talk , and laughter). I stop with all of these and he started talk therapy to help him with ocd and the anxiety. I hope this can help him more than the medicine however the fact that Prozac has not worked for him that does not mean it not will work for you. continue with your treatment if you feel better. Good luck !

[Natureloverpeace in reply to DANI13]

Talk therapy is not usually helpful for OCD. It’s done by a well-meaning therapist who usually doesn’t understand OCD . They often use reassurance which feeds the OCD cycle, or logic, which doesn’t work because there will always be another “what if” with OCD.

[IStillHaveHope]

I'm really sorry you're having trouble right now. I totally can relate on how terrible the thoughts and emotions with OCD can be. I've had harm OCD and it sounds like that's what your are experiencing at the moment. It's important to remember that OCD often tells you the opposite of what we value. By that I can assume that you are probably a really caring person and that you don't want to hurt anyone.

It's also important to remember that the goal of therapy isn't to get rid of the OCD thoughts. By doing the exercises you're rewiring your brain to just "be" with the thoughts and not be affected by them as much. It isn't easy, but it does work. I'm not perfect, but I am at a point where I can be like, "Oh that is just an OCD thought. It can be there and will go away when it wants to.". I still get a tinge of anxiety, but it is small and I just continue on with my day. It is SO much better than where I was.

I also want to say that having OCD doesn't make you broken, or weird, or unworthy of love. I know it makes us feel that way sometimes but its just another lie OCD tells us. You are a beautiful piece of creation and are worthy of all its gifts. I don't know if this will help, but I put together a post about the things I've learned while living with OCD. I intended it for those who were just beginning their journey. Maybe it'll be of some use to you.

healthunlocked.com/my-ocd/p...

Remember you're not alone my friend. There are literally millions of people out there who want (and can!) help. You just need to ask God bless you.