Why do I keep doing this with my Ex & is this my OCD?

[Cherrytree23]

Hi 👋🏻 ! I will to try to keep this brief. My OCD theme has always been Guilt & Confessional OCD. I’m so honest about everything sometimes it’s crippling.

2 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend.

He did drugs lied about it years ago. I took him back. Togther 3 years. No kids together but I want them. Both mid 30s.

He's living with his parents. Shit with money. I already given him a second chance 2 years ago when he lied, but recently I felt he was using again so we broke up as I’m anti drugs.

however in two months I’ve been out with friends drinking and got very drunk (not my finest hour) the very day I will call him up and confess the previous night!!

I will tell him who spoke to me, flirted with me even if I’ve kissed someone .

I feel as he wants me back, he says he doesn’t care and wants to try again and I feel like then I’m sucked in again. Once I’ve sobered up , I don’t really want to talk to him or see him anymore.

so I think alcohol makes OCD 10 times worse and I’m not going out for a while. But once I’ve spoken to my ex about the drunken night the compulsions to confess completely go away so this is why I’m thinking it’s OCD. And not actually me wanting him back.

[Sallyskins]

It sounds as though you broke up with him for a good reason. That doesn't mean that you don't have mixed feelings about it or that the break up wasn't stressful.

I know how is feels to be compulsively honest - I am, mainly because I'm rubbish at lying! But that doesn't mean you have to tell all. For a start, it's none of his business what you get up to since you're no longer together.

I agree that OCD and alcohol don't mix - particularly if you're taking any medication for it. I stopped drinking alcohol altogether when I was 19, because I found I couldn't handle it any more, and I haven't regretted it. I can assure you that it doesn't mean that you can't have fun or socialize - in fact, I think it's better, because it means having fun with friends and knowing I'm not going to get up the following morning with a pounding head, knowing I did something embarrassing, if only I could remember what!

So don't feel that you can't go out. It's important to keep in touch with your friends. There is usually at least one other person not drinking, either because they don't like it, or because they're driving, or because they have to get up for work the next morning.

It does sound as though you're trying to make your ex-boyfriend jealous, but break ups are rarely clean and simply. Best to stay sober, and leave him alone! That leaves you much more open to finding someone new, perhaps someone you want to have kids with.

[Mcfly64]

Too much alcohol and ocd is not a good mix. I’m speaking from first hand experience. I have a lot of trouble with guilt and confessing. Part of the reason my 20 year marriage failed. I’ve been separated for 3-1/2 years. I’ve also done stupid things which I regret which contributed as well. ( sorry for getting off the topic)

[3BirdLover]

Are you saying that you are confessing the things you DID or DIDN'T do?