Can’t stop obsessing and being paranoid.

[sh0526]

The worst part of my OCD is being constantly paranoid, and thinking something I did years, months, weeks or even days ago is going to come back to effect me. I label my self as a scumbag and or think I’m not good enough for my family.

Worst of all, I’m constantly seeking reassurance from my wife, who at this point is reaching her limit and patience. I bring up things that I may have done to her in the past that I feel guilty for even though she’s forgiven me and we’ve moved on, and grown closer as a couple. Yet, I still obsess over my mistakes and think worst case scenarios.

I was recently medicated to treat OCD, but just want to feel better soon. I can’t keep leaning on my wife every time a thought pops up, and while my therapist is helpful, I can’t rely on them every second of every day.

Any advice or tips for dealing with your OCD would be greatly appreciated.

[Mcfly64]

Hi sh0526. How long have you been on your medication?

[sh0526 in reply to Mcfly64]

I was on cymbalta but my doctor switched me to prozac about a month ago. When I began tapering, I felt much better within about a week, but once I stopped the cymbalta, and started the prozac is when my symptoms returned which was a couple weeks ago. My doctor increased the dosage of prozac from 40mg to 60mg last week, and I think in time the goal is to get to 80mg. I am also prescribed klonopin (.5mg) to take as needed. I take it in the morning when my symptoms are the worst, and don’t feel any difference. I even took two (1mg) yesterday and still no difference. This morning, I decided to take my prozac instead of last night, and now I’m waiting to see if it makes a difference. Thanks for your response!

[SCC1 in reply to sh0526]

Hi sh0526.

Medication can be a tricky thing to deal with. I have been on a new medication for about 2 mths, and I am not seeing results so far. If my Dr agrees to put me on a higher dose, maybe I'll start feeling better.

How long were you taking the cymbalta and why did your dr take you off of it? If you are feeling bad after being taken off if it, maybe it had been working for you and maybe you needed a higher dose ??

Good luck w/ everything. Don't give up trying!

[sh0526 in reply to SCC1]

Since I was diagnosed with ocd last month, my psychiatrist said that cymbalta doesn’t really do anything for ocd, so she wanted me to taper off of it and start prozac.

I did start feeling better when I started prozac and tapered the cymbalta, but I’m wondering if that’s because I got back on cymbalta a few weeks before meeting my psychiatrist. A week after I completely stopped cymbalta, I have anxiety and ruminating thoughts. Sure the prozac takes time to build up, but I’ve already been on it for a month, but maybe with me increasing my dosage that takes more time as well. Thank you for your response.

[Sallyskins]

For a start, it's not paranoia - it's merely OCD! And OCD does make us ruminate on past errors or mistakes or wrongdoings.

Having OCD can be hard on those around us, particularly partners and other family members. It's best if you stop asking your wife for reassurance - or rather, ask her to block any request you make for reassurance. The more reassurance you get, the more OCD demands.

It sounds as though you have low self esteem - to label yourself a scumbag and think you're not good enough is not helpful to anybody! How about a self-esteem self help book or short course? Or (though I appreciate that family and work have to take priority) get involved in a community activity or take up a hobby or sport that involves making the best of what you're good at? Feeling that you've done something good or just that you're good at makes you feel good!

[sh0526]

Thank you for your response. It truly can be a tough task to not feel like your best self when dealing with ocd. I am currently looking for a local community group that has meet ups that deal with anxiety/ocd, and looking more into some recreational sports, or even just joining a gym.

[davidovergoliath in reply to sh0526]

Hey.. I’m also a husband and have had similar interactions with my wife concerning my OCD. I’m a 39 year veteran of this illness. I got it when I was 25 yrs old. It’s been the toughest road. If it wasn’t for my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, well, I don’t want to think about it. Medication is necessary - I’ve taken 60 mil of Paxil for 15’years or so. A good therapist is necessary. A relationship with Jesus is the most important thing. Only Jesus can sustain us and even heal us. Be well. I’ll be praying for you. davidovergoliath