Rubbing Alcohol

[targeted_39]

I suffer OCD, & I clean everything I touch with 70% isopropyl rubbing alcohol. A few years ago, it was 91% alcohol. I'm homeless on the streets, & I use it with a spray bottle. I'm constantly spraying & sanitizing all day, every day.

It's traumatic for me to be forced homeless because being around everything dirty, & not having easy access to showers makes my OCD worse. I don't have to spray or sanitize that often, when I get the fortunate moment to get to stay in a hotel or motel room.

I don't like people getting close to or touching me. People act like they delusionally believe they have a license to violate me. When I tell them not to get close to or touch me, they falsely accuse me of acting like I think I'm better than everyone else.

Me being abused in a cult & in foster care, & being raped a few times later on in life is why I'm like this. Therapists aren't helpful. Pills don't help.

[Nothing_but_books]

Welcome to our forum. This is a good place to talk with people who understand and are also trying to heal.

I understand. Cleaning comforts me too.

Are you looking for help getting off the streets? If you write a post asking for help, some of our members may be able to advise you.

You did say you don't feel compelled to spray as often when you're in a clean room? We've got a trauma forum here too. Maybe it would be a comfort to chat with some folks there.

No one should be touching you without your permission! Anyone who has insulted you for standing up for yourself is in the wrong.

It was really brave coming here and talking about what's hurting you. I hope you get the help you need soon.

[targeted_39 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thank you so much for the support. I'm not sure if we're allowed to post links here. I have a fundraiser similar to GoFundMe.

I will try the trauma section, because I really do need it.

[cooperhawk]

I'm so sorry that you're experiencing such an overwhelming hardship.

I agree that others shouldn't feel the license to touch you or violate your personal space.

I pray that you can feel supported and heard here. I hope that you can find moments of relief and comfort, even through the difficult moments.

[targeted_39 in reply to cooperhawk]

Thank you so much.

[SCC1]

Hi. I just read your post. I have not experienced your pain, but I feel for you. There is a lot of support on this forum, so feel free to reach out anytime. People are very understanding, and take the time to genuinely help. I'm sorry to hear that people are reacting to you the way they are, when you tell them you don't want to be touched. I feel similarly, even though it is not due to the same circumstances. I'd rather not be touched either. I don't like getting close to someone, physically or emotionally. I'd rather keep distant from people. I just wanted to let you know, that there are people who don't like to be touched either, regardless of their reasons. I hope you can find a safe place to be. We are here if you need to talk. 😊

[targeted_39 in reply to SCC1]

Thank you so much.