Hi guys, I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on something. I really like my therapist, and I really enjoy therapy, and I've definitely made progress with my OCD (I hope, my OCD likes to tell me I haven't). I have a few concerns when it comes to my therapist.
I worry that she's not taking my exposure work far enough. I hear of other therapists taking their clients exposure work much farther than mine. So far I do scripts and writing feared sentences in a way that agrees with them. My OCD also makes me want to do ERP perfectly, and I don't like when she doesn't make it clear how I'm supposed to do things as far as exposures. For example, when I read back a script, do I just read the words, or really make myself visualize and connect with the emotion of if this were a real scenario?? She seemed to think I should just read it and see what happens, whatever that means. She also seemed to think that visualizing it really happening was a compulsion, but I've read elsewhere that it's not.
Another thing- I follow OCD therapists on instagram that talk a lot about how thought stopping is bad for OCD and your therapist shouldn't teach thought stopping. I'm unclear on what that really means. My therapist tells me to visualize a stop sign when I notice myself doing a compulsion, and to then move on to something else. It has worked for me so far and helped me cut out a lot of rumination/questioning. I asked recently if it's considered thought stopping and she said technically yes. Now I'm panicked she's not treated me right.
The same OCD therapists I follow on instagram also say you shouldn't like going to therapy. But I really like when my appointment rolls around, and I leave there satisfied and empowered. Am I not supposed to feel that way? Am I supposed to not like being there? I guess I can see why i shouldn't, because you should be confronting your fears, but it's not that I don't...
I don't know, let me know what you guys think. I think maybe I'm having relationship OCD with my therapist, LOL. I'm just so concerned about making sure I get the right treatment and fix myself, I think it's maybe even become an obsession.