Shame getting in the way of self love and progress. Suggestions?

[Saltlampcat]

Hello,

I am 24 years old and have struggled with OCD most of my life. I have months or years when it's easier than others. I have been solely obsessive in my mind with occasional bouts of severe compulsive behaviors.

I have been out of counseling for about 4 months now, and I'm attempting to continue my progress mostly on my own.

OCD has been one of my biggest obstacles in trying to develop my own self worth, self love, and confidence. I feel so much shame having OCD. I've always obsessed over my own faults . Most of the time, it feels like I'm drowning in own insecurities. I try so hard not to let it affect how I treat other people and how much validation I need from other people.. I just cant seem to make any more progress.

Any suggestions on what steps I can take to start getting rid of the shame and embarrassment?

[LuvSun]

You should not feel shame over your OCD! If anything you should know that having OCD is not easy and the fact that we have to live with this every day makes us very strong indeed. We( with OCD) are caring individuals and I have come to realize that in my own life and feel that even though I am challenged daily I know that I am a good person.

[Saltlampcat in reply to LuvSun]

Thank you, LuvSun I want to develop a mindset like yours.

It's nice to have encouragement from other people with OCD; up until this point, I havent seriously talked too anybody, outside my family, about OCD.

I know that I definitely have strong willpower ( and stubberness). I know at the end of the day that I am an empathetic person who cares alot, too.

I think alot of my shame is deeply set into my psyche and even though counseling has helped, I still have the core issues too deal with.

[philomena930 in reply to LuvSun]

You are so correct! It took me until almost 60 years old to realize that. Although, my counselor who finally diagnosed me correctly at 33 years old said "how have you been living like this for so long"...now I can look back and be proud that I worked and went to college through all the torment inside. Life is hard enough without OCD. Give yourself lots of credit.. your self-esteem will come in time.

[Sallyskins]

Things like self-esteem and a sense of worth can't be striven for. They are things that happen to you when other things in your life are right. Put them right and the self-esteem and sense of worth will follow.

Don't feel shame about having OCD. It's a really horrible thing to have, but it isn't your fault. People don't develop OCD because they're faulty people; they get it because of a physical quirk in the brain. Often it goes with being conscientious and caring.

Try not to obsess over your own faults. It's tempting to beat yourself up about what you perceive as your own shortcomings, but nobody's perfect!

The trick with OCD is to focus on the symptoms, and to treat them. This is best done with CBT. And try to focus outwards a little more. I think that too much counselling can make you turn inward and obsess over your own faults too much. CBT is about doing things.

[mountainguy]

Hi, I have been troubled by my OCD telling me I need to be perfect. But no one is perfect (whatever perfect is??), and the more you give into the obsession to be perfect the worse it will get. It, the obsession to be perfect, will be never ending no matter what you do! So, we have to accept that no one is perfect, we all have faults. Sometimes self-talk works for me wherein I remind myself that it is OK to be imperfect and that this obsession to be perfect is just another of the OCD obsessions.