Newby with OCD

[telly9]

Hi I am newly diagnosed with ocd i believe ive always had it but never really noticed. It all started about 8 months postpartum and i am now 18 months postpartum. I think now its considered just ocd. None the less its been a struggle. I have more the obsessive thought /intrusive thoughts. I feel like my brain is on fire. Its been a journey. I find ocd makes me feel like i am a bad person or that i should be embarrassed about having it. I constantly worry about something bad happening aswell . I sometimes feel like it will always be like this. I find myself worrying about the future alot i kinda always have but about different things. Like will my son think i am crazy when he is older? Will i be crazy or institutionalized? These fears i would never of imagined 18 months ago. I am doing better medication and therapy has helped. I work in healthcare so i find that can be tricky mostly because i am so scared of people finding out about it. Looking for helpful resources or just someone who has gone or is going through something similar.

[Hidden]

Hi, welcome.😄. Anytime you feel anxious, jump onto this site as there is a lot of support from other fellow OCD sufferers. I am working through an OCD self-help book at the moment as waiting for my Italk sessions to recommence post covid world. Hope your therapy sessions are going well. Keep at it, and be positive.!!

[Ocdwarrior]

Hi Telly! I have pocd. Which for me, is a fear that I will or already have sexually abused a person or child. Not fun at all. As I'm sure you know, it's horrible having a voice in your head telling you alll sorts of lies and horrible things about yourself or what you may have done or will do or will become, etc. Also you are so so brave, for getting therapy and reaching out! 💪

There are a few YouTube channels and podcasts I found helpful on my journey. Mark Freeman's YouTube channel and Katlyn Hashways YouTube channel were really helpful. They both have OCD and make videos about it. Then Allie Greymonds podcast "OCD Recovery" and the OCD stories podcast were really helpful as well. Oh yes, Chrissie Hodges's on YouTube is really amazing especially if your obsessions are in the taboo category. The peace of minds live videos on their Facebook were really helpful for me as well.

Hope you have an awesome day! Remember how loved and valued you are! 💕

[IndianaGuy in reply to Ocdwarrior]

I am a father who developed OCD after my first child was born. I had anxiety about what we decided to name him (long story) and it evolved into an obsession with a series of compulsions. It was absolutely brutal. I also had many of the fears you describe. (Will I go crazy? What will my child think of me? What will happen to him?)

What I can tell you is this: It went away. It took a while. But it went away. I became happy again. Maybe more happy than ever before. We even had another child.

Now, full disclosure, the OCD and depression have come back after 7 years in remission. I'm in the middle of a 4-month episode, largely because I took my mental health for granted.

My point is that there is hope, especially since you are getting help, and once you get to feeling better, don't take it for granted. Keep an eye on your mental health. Take your meds!

Nick

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate]

Welcome!

It's always so nice to see another parent here. I resonate with so many of your fears. My OCD definitely flared postpartum and I found myself worrying about anything and everything to do with my son.

It can be difficult to navigate managing OCD after a huge life change like having a child, but it does get easier. I still have all manner of intrusive thoughts attached to my son, but learning to mindfully disengage from them and turn towards my values has helped me so much.

I'm so happy you've already been able to receive treatment and medication. That's a great first step!

Here are some resources I've found incredibly helpful in my own journey:

Kimberley Quinlan:

podcasts.apple.com/us/podca....

cbtschool.com/store

Kevin Foss:

fearcastpodcast.com

Nathan Peterson:

youtube.com/channel/UC3Clvn...

[telly9 in reply to alexandraisobsessed]

Thanks I follow you and Kimberley on Instagram! So nice to have another rmom who can relate 🙃

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to telly9]

Aw, that's so cool! Feel free to say hi ☺️

[Dharmaexperiences]

Hello exactly same situation, and I work on public health. You shouldnt be embarrased. I was diagnised yesterday and as a good person living ocd I have a whole detailed plan for therapy starting Wednesday. In my personal experience I always knew something was different about me, the anxiety attacks made me try many things, meditation in India, temporary obsessions for hobbies among other. Now I feel relieved to know what I have. Embrace the process and self love with help you go through.

[FirstResponder23]

I too share a lot of your story. I work in healthcare as well, and I too still get embarrassed about my ocd. But a forum like this is a great tool to be able to share all the things you feel while still having that added layer of identity protection.

I cant even count how many times I have expressed to my family, my girlfriend, my therapist that I worry “it will always be like this.” I will share this with you. I say it every time I have episodes of ocd, and every time I remind myself this is the same old game ocd plays. I go through the same loop, and every time I always overcome the ocd with time and hard work. Don’t worry, you are experiencing things many of us do. Stay strong, and know it will get easier with time and the ability to identify the ocd.