Hi guys - I've been dealing with OCD for 20+ years now and it has absolutely escalated to other tendencies. Initially, I started with numbers and compulsions and moved on to intrusive thoughts (with compulsions depending on my level of anxiety). I was so embarrassed by it and worked so hard to hide it and I guess I was successful in doing so because I recently confessed my condition to a close relative and they were shocked. Talking about it substance and made it real. So I worked so hard on suppressing it. But it's been consuming me and I feel sick, and I have not gotten any help. The wait time is incredibly long to see a doctor, especially now mid-covid. Recently I decided I wanted to understand it and started doing some research and came across the term "magical thinking OCD", which seemed so relatable. I found this definition online: "Those with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) feel like they have an expanded sense of responsibility to themselves and others. People with OCD may think they have the power to prevent bad things from happening or from harming themselves or others, or may believe that their thoughts can cause or prevent events from occurring in real life. This is referred to as magical thinking and allows people with OCD to feel safer and in more control, regardless of how illogically or irrationally their thoughts or behaviors are perceived by themselves and others." Anyone here familiar with this kind of OCD and how have you dealt with it?
Magical Thinking OCD. : Hi guys - I've been... - My OCD Community
Magical Thinking OCD.
I think so magical OCD is like counting OCD. In counting OCD people think that if they won't count to a certain number or do some things for a certain time then something bad will happen and if they do that then they can prevent the bad stuff.
You can read these articles on counting OCD and relate it to your thoughts.
treatmyocd.com/blog/countin...
Thanks for sharing! I started reading. The thing with me is that I don’t have a number, so it doesn’t feel as structured I guess. I just fixate on thoughts. And a lot of the times right when I find a somewhat comfortable thought, I find something (anything) wrong with it, and I spend an enormous amount of time trying to replace that thought, or obsessing over it and what it could mean. Everything seems to be associated or bring me back to that thought until I’m mentally exhausted and my anxiety is off the charts. For the most part, it’s also the first thing on my mind when I wake up. Again, mentally exhausting.
Hi Jazzmine, I know this is a while after your initial post but I wanted to tell you that it sounds like you are struggling with obsessive rumination - which I myself struggle with. It is common for people with OCD - your 'obsession' might be the thought and the 'compulsion' is the mental arguing you're doing, trying to reassure yourself that the thought isn't true. I have found labelling my thoughts and ACT and ERP therapy really useful. I hope you're in a better place now.
I have heard of this and I have this form of OCD myself.
Sorry to hear LuvSun. Are you seeing someone to help? How do you manage?
I’m not seeing anyone presently. I just try and tell myself that I don’t have that kind of “power” to control things and move on. It’s a continuing battle but I manage to get through day by day.
It's all ocd, it does not matter the name or handle it's given ,pure,or magical ,it's all a form of trying to have certainty and control over the intrusive thoughts ,
I don’t personally have it but this sounds exactly like my DD. She’s getting ERP now but she’s resistant because she’s still fairly young but I’m hopeful. I’ve read a lot about it as well. Wishing you much luck, try NOCD if you are ok with virtual therapy.
I can relate similarly since in the past or at times, I've had times when I thought I could make something bad happen to someone just by a thought that I had. It can go so far as to think I could cause them to go to hell because of a thought. Or because I said something, it might cause them harm and it would be MY FAULT. Is this what you are going through?
Doing research is a good thing. There are so many different types of OCD you will find that they kind of 'inter-twine' quite a bit. My past big OCD issue was scrupulosity (moral) where I have to be perfect, my thoughts must be perfect.
I see similar traits. I believe in the weight of my intrusive thoughts. My concern is that I put someone I care about or myself in harm’s way. I’m always concerned about making the right decisions to protect myself and those I love. Everything is an overthought and I analyze every single little thing. I find associations, signs, etc...kind of “this must mean something approach”. I’ll do things I’m afraid of, but there are times when the anxiety and fear win and it’s one of the most defeating feelings.
This is where my faith has to take over. I don't know what your spiritual life it, but my faith in God is critical in getting me through. Sometimes I just have to pray, place it in God's hands and it helps me move forward. For me, a heavy burden is lifted.
I've mentioned many times on this forum that my mom once told me "You are not that powerful [my name], meaning I cannot in my mind control the outcome or harm a person by thinking something. This has also been very helpful in dealing with these types of harm OCD intrusive thoughts.
I’ve had those feelings! I spent all of high school and a lot of college seriously believing my dad got Alzheimer’s and passed away because of a dumb thought I had as a kid.
I’ve tried to ignore these thoughts but it’s hard sometimes, they pop up out of nowhere
What do you do when they pop up and you can’t shake them away? I’ve started saying “it’s my OCD”, when I feel overwhelmed by my thoughts. It’s not a definite solution but does help put some things into perspective, specially when I’m just tired.
I wish I had a good answer but I tell myself it’s my OCD too. And like you said, it puts it into perspective
I fear if I do something that remains 'forever' like taking a photo, editing a photo, write something down, sign something, save a file in the computer, name a file in the computer, write a letter, buy a car, put something in a shelf etc. and I dont do it perfectly or i dont have a good thought or a good feeling while im doing it than my parents cant go to heaven and its my fault.
its like the issue that 3birdslover wrote combinded with perfection, ordering, repeating.
if i do it 'wrong' i repeat the action and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat etc. until it feels right..
sound like it is your problem too..
its always something bad is going to happen to somebody that is important to me if I do or If i dont do...
Same but in an extreme way. I hate this so much.
I do associate good (or non negative) thoughts with a positive outcome. I’ve had OCD for so long now that at this point as long as it’s not a negative thought I’m fine with it. Ultimately the thought doesn’t even have to make sense at all, as long as it’s not negative I’m fine completing the cycle. And yes arriving to that point may involve repetition and a goal to be perfect.
I know this post is old, but thought I'd add here in case anyone else is checking it as well! Again, I hate to see others suffer from this as well, but there's also a bit of comfort knowing I'm no alone (makes me feel a bit less 'crazy'!). I often think that if I think or say something the wrong way, it will happen. Then I have to mentally 'undo' what I said, trying to get it right. I have faith in God, but that has even come under attack as well as I often turn my prayer into compulsion if I'm afraid I said something the wrong way, God will make it happen. My therapist has always told me 'say out loud you're going to win the lottery' and see if that happens! I know saying positive things out loud or in my mind (such as winning the lottery) won't make it happen! So why do I think if I say/think something bad or not right will cause that to happen and not the other?! Then I worry about 'karma'!! It never ends! I think the best example of what my mind does with magical thinking/my words making something bad happen is what happens on "It's a Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown"! Remember at the end when Linus wasted Halloween all night in the patch, and then he yells "If the Great Pumpkin comes, I'll still put in a good word for you! Linus : Good grief! I said "if"! I meant, "when" he comes!" I think he follows that with "I'm Doomed"!! That's me in a nutshell, only I spend way too much time trying to find a way to correct the 'if' part!!!
It's just my idea, but I think everyone has some degree of OCD. What matters is how negatively it impacts your life.
No diagnosis, but I spend way too much time fretting that I've said the wrong thing too. Needing to get things right can incapacitate me. I'm aware that's perfectionism, but boy is it hard to stop.
Hi Jazzmine. I have read all the following posts people have made. Thank you so much for your initial msg! I can relate to all of it. About the responsibility part, my therapist said that only the person himself, is responsible for what happens to them. Whatever happens to someone else, was going to happen anyway, even if it may be something bad. I know this is hard to believe at the time, but maybe when the bout of the OCD relaxes a little, you can test your thoughts/worries. Try to let a thought or compulsion go, and see if something (bad) happens. My therapist also said, that the more often I can go thru w/ the behavior that originally caused me anxiety (as in, don't do "that" or something bad will happen"), the easier it will become to let go of. I still have a hard time w/ this, and I'm still scared if I don't do (whatever) to make the bad not happen, it will. But this is my advice to you (and anyone else). I guess this is the ERP people have been talking about? I need to try it more. And I wasn't saying, before, that my therapist's way is the only way. Just some things she told me that might help others.
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