Humiliated

[Brighter_Days]

Does anyone else have a spouse that makes your OCD all about an attack on them? My husband gets very agitated when I bring up things that bother me. I have a fear of germs and he thinks it’s an attack in his cleanliness. He stopped or cut way back on reassurance to me a while ago. I try my best not to ask him for reassurances. But, even still, if I say something without even asking him for reassurance he questions, “ why don’t you want me to do this or that, tell me why?” Then gets agitated over nothing and screams. It’s hard enough on s person just knowing that you feel stupid for feeling the way you do, without someone humiliating you by screaming at you. For example, he was going to put laundry on the couch and I asked him to leave it in the basket instead. He asked why…he said, “well, when I’m home and I hold laundry I put it on the couch and if I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it my way!” He doesn’t understand how I feel or why I feel the way I do…no one that I know does. I just wondered if anyone else was going through the same thing?

[SaltLakeNative]

I've had similar situations. My wife will get agitated when I do something OCD. The thing I have learned is that she has her own anxieties and priorities. y me always telling her about mine, she feels like I don't care about hers. I would say, sit down with your husband and discuss things that you feel are needed and why and allow him to do the same. Work together on a solution that both of you can be comfortable with.

[Brighter_Days in reply to SaltLakeNative]

Thank you…I’ve tried, but maybe I just need to change my approach.

[Hidden]

Oh yes. You are not alone. I find myself now trying to do everything myself because I don't trust him to do it the way I'm comfortable with. My own controlling fault but I get so tired of him demanding I tell him why and what happened. He doesn't really care I just think it's hard for him to do something without a reason even when he gets mad about it after I tell him. You for sure aren't alone.

[Brighter_Days in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much

[StandinStill]

Hi there......You’re definitely not alone in this . My spouse doesn’t even want to discuss OCD, because I’m not normal in their eyes.

It’s really really hard , because I feel very alone . More now than ever.

I lost two very best friends of mine who understood me . It’s very difficult to talk about, because I break down crying (Like Now I am ). They were actually family dogs that I love so much.

When no one else was there for me , they were. Now they are gone and I’m extremely lost and alone . They got me , understood me, loved me , when no one else has anywhere close to that .

So each time I hold out hope that my spouse or other family will understand or listen , I end up alone again and dejected because they don’t even discuss OCD with me , or the depression I’m having, or the pain I’m going through losing my two best friends.

I get you . I get it very much.

I don’t have a lot of great advice on this , because as you can see , my family interactions isn’t currently the most supportive or helpful.

They are all great people. So it makes it that much more difficult to feel like the “ugly duckling “.

But I can offer up support and caring to let you know that you’re not doing anything wrong . I do agree that listening to your husbands fears along with sharing yours , is definitely key. But in the end please know you have me here . All of us here.....We all know what that feeling is like . And for any of us with OCD, that’s normal.

Sorry to ramble on so much . I’m probably not even making any sense these days. But I just wanted you to know you have us and we will always be here for you

[Brighter_Days in reply to StandinStill]

Thank you so much! I’m sorry you lost your two best friends. Family pets are so loving and caring. They are a true part of your family. I will tell you, you do still have someone that cares and understands exactly what you’re going through, the Lord. When I feel hurt and alone, I go off by myself and pour my heart out to Him. I cry and tell Him everything that’s on my Heart. Many years ago, I wondered how God speaks to people, but now I know. He is that still small voice that whispers into your spirit, “You are not alone.” Sometimes He speaks to me through encouragement from other people, like all of you. I’ve listened to a certain song, seen a message on a Church Billboard, read something out of a book at the exact time I needed it, or read something out of the Bible. There are so many ways He shows me He sees, He hears, and He cares. He has seen every tear I’ve cried. He Ioves me and He loves you. He’s a friend that sticks closer than a brother and I don’t know what I would do without Him.

[LuvSun in reply to Brighter_Days]

Amen!

[StandinStill in reply to Brighter_Days]

Thank you so much for the beautiful words and feedback. I believe GOD loves me dearly and all of us .

Sometimes when I try to get closer to him though , the OCD interferes drastically and I end up asking him and begging again and again “why me , why can’t I be closer to you GOD “...

Reading the Bible is a challenge because OCD causes me to struggle getting through a sentence without obsessions and compulsions taking over.

And I try to pray and OCD often completely dismantles my prayer attempt.

It then turns into a long process of trying to rationalize with myself and GOD that I trust him and have faith nothing bad will happen if I just forget the obsessions and keep praying. But it’s never really easy to do at all.

I’ve resorted to trying to keep my prayers just to the Lords Prayer. Because anything I try to think about or pray about otherwise, turns into that struggle again.

All that being said, I do believe GOD loves me. I just sometimes think I’m being punished for mistakes in my family’s life and in my life . But I was just a little kid when OCD started, so I then get back to the “why me GOD ? “ yet again.

I greatly appreciate the support and wonderful words. You speak the truth , and I’ve made lots of progress in my life because of GODS love and healing hands. Hopefully one day he will heal me to the point where I feel somewhat normal or without the OCD. I believe he will .

I guess it’s not how I start the race, rather how I finish it eventually, hopefully in the Lords loving arms .

Thank you again for being so kind .

All my best

[Brighter_Days in reply to StandinStill]

You’re very welcome. And I think it’s wonderful to pray the Lord’s Prayer, after all, in His Word, that’s how He instructed us to pray. I’ve even heard that when you can’t do anything else, just say, Abba Father. I don’t believe God is punishing you for your mistakes. I believe that’s a lie from the enemy. We don’t always understand why we go through the things we do, but what we can know for sure is that God walks with us and He never leaves us, nor forsakes us.

[StandinStill]

Thank you so much !!