My Biological family is unsupportive

[Blue274]

My Biological family is very unsupportive as far as me having OCD. My second born son told me the other night that I was just making excuses as far as why I am only working part time and not full time. He also told me to get rid of my 11 yr old because I can't afford him. I asked him if he has googled OCD that way he would have a better understanding of what I go through in dealing with this disorder on a regular basis. He really didn't seem to care.😞

[Hidden]

Hi Blue - I am really sorry your son doesn't understand OCD. Before most of the public had heard of OCD back in the early 80's, my mom told me that I was just telling myself I was sick. A pastor told me that I was just making excuses to try to get out of my responsibilities. Being told this type of thing can be heart-breaking. Not too long after this, in 1982, I was diagnosed with Severe OCD. That's a terrible diagnosis to get, but at the same time it brought some relief knowing that someone finally understood. There was actually a name for what was wrong with me. I am glad that you are able to work. Working was one of the biggest helps in my getting better, and was doctor-recommended. That has to be very hurtful hearing your son say these things to you. It is obvious that he just doesn't know. I never had children, so I've not dealt with this personally. Just keep working on getting better & better. I said a prayer for you tonight.

[Blue274 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!😁

[ISTY]

I am very sorry for their misunderstanding.. have you tried all supplements and ERP with daily mindfulness exercises? Mindfulness can help a lot and there is more and more research now supporting the ability to “change the brain” neuroplasticity.. lots of good books on it now good luck to you ♥️

[ChristianWolff]

Hello Blue,

Sorry to hear about your son, it is an unfortunate situation. I had three siblings who never cared nor even attempted to understand my OCD/Asperger's to this day, and my father thought discipline thru martial art training was the solution. My mother did not understand me, but was always sympathetic and supportive. I hope that you have at least one relation who is the same. I wish better things for you.

[Blue274 in reply to ChristianWolff]

It's a shame. Family really is not family anymore.

[mopedmike]

I'm sorry your going through that. We all want to be better. We have our good days and our bad. What you son said does not help but he is a kid mistakes and faux pas are part of the deal. As far as having an outlet of understanding ears we're for you. I don't know your whole story, I hope you are getting help and are doing the dietary supplements (IE. Bananas, Walnuts, Chicken or Turkey along with whole wheat and or oats to build up natural serotonin levels there are also vitamins you can take to help with that) Watching things that really make you laugh and good exercise bring up those serotonin levels too. It's not full proof but I've found it very helpful. Hang in there Blue274 like Sinn-E I'll pray for you too.

[Blue274 in reply to mopedmike]

Thanks

[cathy1956]

I'm sorry I'm confused who is your biological family. Do you have adoptive parents or family members who are supportive. It's good to find any family members to support you. Some people just don't understand mental health.

[Blue274 in reply to cathy1956]

I'm referring to all of my Biological Family. The family that I was born into and the family I created (my sons). Only my 11 yr old is supportive. He lives with me. They don't think the OCD is as bad as it really is.

[cathy1956 in reply to Blue274]

Maybe you could get some reading material about OCD he could read about from the OCD Foundation.

[Blue274 in reply to cathy1956]

Thank you! I just got the book Brain Lock to help me, By Shwartz the medical doctor.

[reshon]

Sorry to hear your son doesn't understand your OCD but hopefully one day that will change; stay strong, your in my prayers.

[Blue274 in reply to reshon]

Thank you and nice name.

[Hidden]

I am really sorry Blue. I don't think people realize how hard it is to struggle with OCD. I wish my mom would get me some help. She knows something is wrong, but I think she tells herself that everything is fine. I will pray for you.

[Blue274 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you

[Bobby5000]

As a family member it's hard. What do you do? As a husband of someone with OCD, I'm constantly trying to figure out the most effective approach: praise, suggestions, books, talking, medication, support groups. It's hard because we see OCD as a destructive force damaging our family and relationships and we struggle to find a way to solve it. I go to my own therapist, read as many books as possible, work 60-70 hours per week, spend 20-25 hours cooking and cleaning, and spend another 20 hours trying to help make her well because I love her and value our marriage.

My wife developed OCD late in life after a problematic move during Covid. I try to be supportive, positive, but when she is late to appointments or does self-destructive things, it is frustrating. With friends, she can switch into her smiling, competent, pretty, socially skilled old self and the question is why don't you do that all the time, why choose stress over happiness, isolation over gathering with friends and family, depression over trips to the beach, dinners out, and vacations. When she calls one son 6 times during a busy workday for him, I have to ask why do you want to annoy him, make his life stressful, and erase the love you developed over the years, why is this self-destructive OCD more important than your husband, children, friends and even yourself. Not trying to depress anyone in this group, I understand you all struggle but so do we, and we're just looking for improvement and solutions.