Overthinking and OCD

[MissBowLady]

I’ve been having a hard time lately with OCD and overthinking stuff.

Warning this will mention incest OCD so if that triggers you, scroll by.

For the past days I was fine and then I started thinking about bees and how there is a queen bee and how I’ve heard that the queen bee is mostly the mother of the hive and if that’s true, if when bees reproduce then wouldn’t that mean..?

Anyways, this and along with other OCD stuff had been bothering me. I told my mom these OCDs and she didn’t want to feed into it by trying to reassure me but felt sorry that I was dealing with it. Later tonight I asked if she could make me tea and she put honey in it and when I pointed it out to her she surprisingly asked “so what you aren’t going to have honey anymore?” And it just sounded like she was so annoyed with my OCD and at the same time it felt like she didn’t really listen or hear what was troubling me, or wonder why stuff like this bothers me. I mean I know it’s OCD but it feels so scary, I don’t know how to explain it.

Has anyone else felt like this?

[JDJD]

Hi, although I did not have this experience, my husband struggles that with his OCD he is not validated or listened to. It is a hard balance. I want to reassure him, but then I have to balance not giving into the obsessions. I have OCD as well so this makes it even harder, as my obsessions can come in as well. If it helps, what you think is important, and someone told me this as well you are not what you think. Hope it helps

[MissBowLady in reply to JDJD]

I’m sorry, my mom struggles with not wanting to give me reassurance, and also wanting to let me know that some of the things I deal with are weird when thought about hard enough. Also, thank you for telling me I’m not what I think. My mom and therapist tell me that too, but it’s nice hearing it from a stranger

[MissBowLady in reply to MissBowLady]

Also, it’s hard for me because I have ideas for maybe stories or comics I’d like to draw that are personal to me, but then OCD thoughts come and I wish it was black and white when recognizing OCD but sometimes it “infects” the stuff I like and makes me feel uncomfortable with the idea I was having fun with.

[mdg1975]

If it makes you feel any better, a queen bee only mates with male drone bees. Male drone bees are the offspring of a distinct and separate worker bee, so there is no incest of any kind.

I’m sorry that you are feeling so much pain. Please remember that your mom has, most likely, never dealt with OCD before. She is probably terrified. Her number one priority is your health and happiness. Talk to her. Tell her everything.

Indulge in those things that make you the most happy. Be active. Put those ruminating thoughts aside as often as you can and move on.

You are not alone. We are here for you.

[MissBowLady in reply to mdg1975]

Oh I think that was assurance, but thank you. I know she cares a lot, and we talked last night. She just doesn’t have ocd and doesn’t think the way I do, or I should say, isn’t forced to think in the way I do. It’s complicated for me. She tells me she can’t win with me and she’s right! I get upset at her for things that are never her fault and I feel bad when that happens, and I feel bad when I learn she cries. She told me she was sorry, but that she is human too. People make mistakes. It sucks living with ocd, and I have to learn to not feel bad and stop thinking I’m bothering others or my mom.

[mdg1975 in reply to MissBowLady]

Yes, OCD is painful, very real, and it isn’t something that you caused or created. It’s a serious illness. It’s natural to feel bad that your behavior is making things difficult for others, but, please don’t ever blame yourself for your OCD.

[Carbon21 in reply to MissBowLady]

Mom here, I can tell you that if mom knows enough about the illness, as I do, then she knows not to go along with reassurance for your sake. It’s hard because it’s kind of like tough love. We have to watch our kid suffer through things that we can make feel better but if we give in to reassurance then the OCD grows. If mom cries it’s because she wants to make the ocd stop bothering you. Mom will be ok, I’m sure she loves you like I love mine, we just have to release the stress sometimes. We know it’s not your fault and you are not a bother, Moms are tough, don’t worry and keep talking with her, she’ll be your strongest backboard. Best of luck and remember, they are just thoughts, everyone has thoughts, you haven’t done anything wrong.

[MissBowLady in reply to Carbon21]

Thank you very much. I think I’ll show her some of these comments to help her know she isn’t alone when she has to not reassure me.

[Carbon21 in reply to MissBowLady]

That sounds like a great idea. I find most, if not all, of these posts are kind people going through something that used to make me think we were alone. Hang in there and feel better.

[222purple]

Hi,

These are all very classic OCD symptoms! I have OCD too and it's helped me quite a bit to follow Shannon Shy on facebook. He's recovered from the very worst of OCD. He actually just released a new book 2 days ago called "Turning Points"! Dr. Michael Jenike of McClean's wrote the forward. I'd highly recommend to read it! Hang in there...you can and will get better!