Ever since my son developed OCD in his early teens, he became almost overnight extremely dour and irritable. At first, as parents we thought it was just dour / cranky moody adolescent behaviour. At 17, he was diagnosed with OCD and ever since his nature, personality has suffered greatly and he is almost constantly dour, irritable and doesn’t like doing anything himself - I mean, warming his own meals, or any mundane chores. We are scared of increasing his anxiety so we tend to give in and cater to all his needs - cooking, making coffee for him, etc… is this “ normal” in OCD ? Do OCD sufferers tend to not want to do anything themselves and then fly into a rage if their every need isn’t served?
This disease is so complicated that we don’t know if it has warped our son’s personality or are we just giving in ?
Thank you for any insights
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Helpgod7
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I have just read that anger is a symptom of OCD - the frustration of constant nervous tension and I get it but I just wish that joie de vivre and happiness could come back once this disease retreats
"As OCD becomes more severe, ‘avoidance’ may become an increasing problem. The person may avoid anything that might trigger their obsessive fears. OCD can make it difficult for people to perform everyday activities like eating, drinking, shopping or reading. Some people may become housebound. OCD is often compounded by depression and other anxiety disorders, including social anxiety, panic disorder and separation anxiety. "
Hi Helpgod7, obviously I don't exactly know your son's situation, but I thought it might be useful to share my experience. I also developed OCD in my early teens. I struggled for years and years with horrible thoughts/obsessions/compulsions and I felt angry/ashamed/worthless. I'm now in my late 20s and I cringe thinking about how angry and irritable I was--but I think as I chipped away at my OCD, worked with a psychologist at ERP, and got on a medication that actually worked, I was able to stop feeling so mad and miserable. I also think part of it is growing up. I don't know if you are "giving in" too much, but I do think you need to try and give yourself a bit of grace. OCD is terrible--for the person suffering with OCD as well as the people dealing with the person suffering from OCD.
When so many things in life, basic things, can be triggers for anxiety attacks, imagine how much of a minefield day-to-day life is, and how stressful that can be. Your son is stressed beyond what he can manage, and so it's showing.
In the grand scheme of things, catering to his OCD does NOT help. However, in the short-term, it can offer him some relief. I would have a talk with him about this, so he doesn't think you're being cold, but start to be more selective in how you help. He's going to need to be able to function. If it's beyond that point, he should really see a professional.
Hi. It’s totally normal to have some irritability and anger with ocd. It could be over something very trivial (to a normal person) so your son might not open up to you as to why he’s angry or irritable. Is he receiving any medication as treatment. Medication really helped me when I had irritability, especially over trivial issues. As for ocd changing your son’s personality, I can totally relate to it, as ocd makes you avoid a lot of things and situations for various reasons that you feel trapped under a bubble. I have been suffering from ocd for 20 years now and on the way to recovery I realised how OCD had stopped me from being so I really was. So whatever your son is going through is normal in ocd. I hope you are able to help your son in his road to recovery
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