I hate OCD

[Magic214]

Hey everyone! I’m new to the OCD community, but not to OCD. I started realizing a few years ago that something was wrong with me. I decided to do research when I was talking to a friend of mine and suddenly I visioned me bashing her head in the wall. I felt horrified with myself. And bc I couldn’t explain the thought, I felt like I couldn’t trust her. Anyway, 11 months ago, I was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression.

I was happy that I broke through with the answer to my issues, but I didn’t realize that was just a battle. The war seems like it will never end.

I started working hard at managing this OCD. I am an artist, so drawing and painting are literally my life. I love to dance and I’m pretty good at it and I love yoga. I incorporated all of these activities in my day to day and I started to feel like there was hope for me.

The relapse to me is worse than actually dealing with ocd everyday. Out of nowhere, my anxiety shot back up. My rituals picked up and I was unable to decipher between the “real world” and my obsessive thoughts.

For the past couple of days, this OCD has spiraled out of control. I can’t seem to control the anxiety and I just want to die. I’m doing my best not to attempt, but I don’t think I can handle another day of this....

Anyone know some “home remedies” when dealing with ocd?

[Hidden]

I would like to welcome you to the OCD Support Network.

We are here to help and offer hope.

We are in this together.

I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time.

I have been facing OCD spiral out of control, since the past few months.

Please do not take any dangerous action to your life.

Your life is very precious.

You are a very talented person, even though you have OCD.

I hope you can find a therapist for treatment.

Meanwhile, as an advice for the obsessive thoughts, sit with the anxiety.

Face the feared consequences.

The anxiety will be high in the beginning, but it will slowly get lesser.

The thought will eventually fade away, by losing its importance.

The only way to win over OCD is to face the fear.

Please take care of yourself.

You are very valuable, and your life is very precious.

Be safe.

[Magic214 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for this! And you are so right. I tried ERP with my arachnophobia recently. All my life this fear has held me back. I allowed a decent sized spider to live in a spot I relax in outside. The spider got really big within 2 weeks. But he always sat in his web and never bothered me. Usually, if I focused on a spider’s features, I’d lose my mind...but everyday I would come outside and watch him catch a bug, sleep and just crawl around his web. I didn’t even realize it was working until a wasp was coming at me, so I sprayed it and my spider was a casualty (he wasp was real close) . I had to end up killing the spider because he was trying to come in the house and my daughter was freaked out. I started crying. Over a SPIDER! But that breakthrough felt soo good and my anxiety towards spiders now is nowhere near what is was.

[Magic214 in reply to Magic214]

I know I have the ability to overcome this...I work on my OCD everyday. But it’s terribly exhausting and often it feels hopeless especially when they are not many resources here in GA for treatment. I’m still feeling really low, Although I fixed my painting and I created a plan for myself today. I will try harder to keep the suicidal thoughts from becoming an obsession. It definitely helps when I know I’m not alone.

[sligoguy]

its,a flare up and has ambushed you ....repeat this to yourself IHAVE AN ILLNESS THAT MAKES ME HAVE INTRUSIVE UNWANTED THOUGHTS AND IMAGES .IT IS CALLED OCD ...and loads of good kind nice artistic people suffer from this I am not on my own and it only bothers me cos im sensitive and a fair honest person not perfect just human .... let the thoughts come let them go ....its not you its a thought thst you find repulsive ....and it fills you with guilt .fear .panic ....you are not your thoughts .....regular folk get them and dont heed them ...EVERTBODY gets them and that has been proven in many tests .but we hold on others do not ....remember what ocd is a doubting .illness what ifs and maybe,s .....accept them and say here is another one ....it will work .it goes against the grain but just say another shit thought and fet on with living

[Magic214 in reply to sligoguy]

Thank you! I needed this. One of the worst parts of this illness is that everyone doesn’t understand it. I know we all have these thoughts& images, so why is it so difficult for those who claim to love you understand it’s similar to a song getting stuck in your head. I can’t wait until I can truly understand and master letting the thoughts come than go. It feels like I will explode sometimes. And as you know, it hurts.

[Susiesweeney]

HI

I am a new member to the forum .I am so sorry u are having such a hard time . OCD is hell but u can never give up even when the thoughts turn very dark because u would never know what ur life could have been . I have had numeroushospital admissions due to self harm thought primarily bought on by OCD and it's impact on my life. I have had a difficulty two years after a pretty steady 5 years. When ur mind goes to those places THEN U CALL FOR HELP GO TO UR NEAREST DR HOSPITAL AND GET THE SUPPORT U NEED TO GET U THROUGH THIS BAD SPELL JUST LIKE SOMEONE WITH A PHYSICAL ILLNESS WOULD DO . U DESERVE HELP LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. HOPE THIS HELPS . 😋