Rocd?

Hey all. I’ve always been jealous, but lately I’ve become convinced that my wife is sleeping with my brother in law. I don’t have hard evidence, but I have created a story that I can’t shake and that seems real. Like thinking about it now I think it’s true. I’m currently seeing a therapist who specializes in ocd and she thinks I have ocd. Of course my wife denies it and is hurt when I say anything about it. I keep cycling between moments of thinking it’s ocd and then thinking that I’m actually working very hard to ignore an affair. I also feel lots of shame around this. I don’t like hurting my wife but I also feel like my real problem is that I don’t have the courage to leave my wife. I’m not even sure why I’m posting this... I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has dealt with this obsession, and if there are any specific things you did to help. Thanks.

[Albertina_G]

I am not sure if it is ROCD or not. Mostly the obsession of people with ROCD is that they doubt their relationship and think if their partner loves him or not, are they attracted to their partner or not, etc. Wait until your therapist confirm if it is OCD or something else.

[Hidden]

Thank you. My therapist says she thinks it is ocd. I’m the one doubting it. I don’t doubt my feelings for my wife, but I can’t stop thinking she cheated on me. I’m at a point now where I think both things are true, that I have ocd and that she cheated on me. I can’t imagine getting to a point where I believe her. My therapy feels like trying to convince myself to believe a lie or to convince myself I’m ok with infidelity. I suppose I’m ruminating and seeking reassurance right now... both things I’m not supposed to do. Is that right?

[sligoguy in reply to Hidden]

It's called the doubting illness ,ocd will make you question just about anything .I mean anything ,so your intrusive thoughts about your wife are , practically the same as did I do that ,did I knock over someone ,did I fancy that guy ,,,,can you see where I'm coming from ? It's like a thing that gets stuck and you can't shake it ,,,,it keeps nipping at you,and you feel compelled to try and make nonsense of it and put it to bed ,,,,but it keeps at you ,,,man it's classic ocd ,,,,,put it down to a thought that is stuck and means nothing it's a symptom of the ocd ,do stuff that breaks the ruminating,keep active and fill your head with good stuff and have a laugh it's all therapy

[Hidden in reply to sligoguy]

Thanks for responding. Reading this first thing in the morning was just what I needed.

[Emtctn]

Thank you for this post. I am convinced that my wife is having a secret emotional affair with a long time love. I keep trying to figure it out, does she still love her, have they spoken, why did she send her a card, is she not telling me when they talk....on and on. It won’t go away. I’d love to hear how to best stop the obsessive rumination and thoughts around this. I have just started therapy and will be discussing this next week. It’s shadowing the joy of my marriage. And I too think, do I accept that she’s married to me and in love with someone else or do I deny my gut feelings. On another note, I have been waaaay off base and completely wrong before. So I don’t entirely trust myself.