I have always struggled with ocd for as long as I can remember.. today I started counselling ( not very positive about it ) but I’ll give anything a try. I’m so tired as I didn’t sleep very well worrying about the first meeting.. the meeting has now been and gone but my ocd has been awful for a few weeks but today it just seems worse. I don’t really know why I’m posting but I think it helps to know I’m not alone.
I’ve been told to try distraction techniques which seems hard as I’d have to be doing it all day. I’m also trying to accept the thought.. like it’s going to make me anxious if I don’t sort something etc .. but I’m anxious anyway. I’ve lost so much weight the last three weeks which is also worrying me so I’ve been trying to force myself to eat which is not nice but needs to be done.
Is there anyone out there who suffers with touching and counting ocd? I’m forever touching and tapping and counting and trying to correct the feeling but then having to remember if I corrected the feeling. I’m not really sure but some days I feel ready to tackle it and accept the thoughts but today I feel like I can’t do it all day. So I’ve caught myself thinking.. would it be easier to just stop? Like doing the compulsions just make me more stressed and anxious .. if only it was that easy? I find myself ruminating and going over situations with my ocd but I get stuck in a constant loop which is really hard to get out of.
But im so ready to start tackling this somehow.. I guess the first step is to join a forum and post.
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Coop123
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Hi Coop123. You can't stop doing compulsions just like that. When you do one, it will take the immediate stress away, but they will continue to come each time you do one. OCD is never satisfied with a compulsion, it just makes it harder to get better. Every time you do a compulsion, you are strengthening the OCD, because OCD feeds off of the act of giving into a behavior.
Ask your counselor about ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention. It is a form of CBT that really helps one to understand and lessen OCD. It is very important that you have a therapist/counselor who knows about ERP, because it is the best OCD treatment one can get.
And welcome to this community! You will find a lot of support and understanding here as everyone is going through similar things. We all know how hard it is to deal with, and accept you as you are. There are no judgements made, so feel free to say anything you would like to.
Hi thanks so much for your reply today she talked about distraction etc but I feel I’d spend my whole day trying to distract myself? It’s really out of hand lately I’m struggling to cope.
I've thought that, too, at times, like how can I make any progress on other things with OCD if I have to always distract myself? There are other methods to try that don't necessarily have anything to do with distraction alone. I mean, that is a good way to deal with OCD, but it leaves no time for anything else.
ERP/CBT would greatly help you and possibly medication used with ERP/CBT. Are you on any meds, if I may ask? They could help slow down the loops you get stuck in, and I don't think you would feel like you always need to distract yourself, because even that can become a compulsion. If that is what you're doing most of the day, it would be good to find other ways to help you handle OCD--ERP/CBT.
You might want to ask your counselor about doing it.
I’m not on any meds as I don’t even take paracetamol because of a phobia of medication. It’s just so tiring isn’t it? I have non stopped looking in to ways of how to distract myself. I’m trying my best to remain positive it’s just everything lately has become so much more of a effort.
Then I think the only thing is to try ERP/CBT. It will give you more productive ways to help yourself. Distraction is a very strong "tool" to use, and if that's not working, it's probably time to try something else, like what I have mentioned.
Thankyou so much. I need to try distraction more and educate myself on that. It’s just so hard to distract isn’t it. Especially when it’s multiple things or trying to remember multiple routines etc.
Welcome! You are definitely not alone in this. Good that you are getting some therapy. It can be hard at times but you can do it. Feel free to post any time. We are all going through similar things.
I have been told that Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is very effective for OCD, primarily when used with Exposure and Response Prevention therapy (ERP). I have only tried Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for my OCD, but I am currently trying CBT therapy which uses ERP.
"The exposure component of ERP refers to practicing confronting the thoughts, images, objects, and situations that make you anxious and/or provoke your obsessions. The response prevention part of ERP refers to choosing not to do a compulsive behavior once the obsessions have been "triggered." All of this is done under the guidance of a therapist at the beginning ----though you will eventually learn to do it on your own. Over time, the treatment will "retrain your brain" to no longer see the object of the obsessions as a threat."
For example, I used to have germophobic OCD, but once I had two children very close in age, I overcame this because I needed to change diapers constantly. After a while, I noticed it didn't bother me as much, although I would still wash my hands when they were dirty. This form of ERP can sometimes occur out of necessity just by living your life.
Another thing I will add is that DBT taught me the importance of mindfulness and meditation, which I find very helpful in controlling my "monkey brain." This has also worked to alleviate some of my OCD patterns.
So, good luck with your CBT therapy. It may take a few weeks before you notice any differences. Also, keep asking questions on this website, watch videos on Youtube, and read about the nature of OCD.
Thankyou so much. I have been reading up so much about ocd and trying my hardest to educate myself on it. I’m not sure how I feel after todays first session but I’ll try and stay positive about it. It’s just so relentless isn’t it. I know I’ve got to do it but the thought of having To do it every single day makes exhausted. I’m going to really try over the next coming days as much as I can to try and get this under control. I was doing ok and could cope with the way it was for years ( sometimes it was very stressful) but something has triggered my anxiety the last three weeks so I’m reckoning that’s why my ocd has got so out of control. I just wish I knew how to stop it as I know being anxious causes compulsions but not doing them causes me to be anxious. My ocd even makes me feel like no one else has it this bad? Like people seem to be just on one subject.. mine seems to be about everything. But anyway no matter how hard it is I’m thankful for life I’m just really struggling right now but it’s another day done. Thankyou.
I find that OCD does come out more when your life has troubles. I assume that when things are going well, we can control our thoughts better and not let them affect us as much. But if we get a little down, then things begin to come crashing down, and OCD comes back.
I started to write something about meditation above and only added two sentences, but I have found this practice very helpful. In a way, it can be about distracting your mind, but mainly it is a way of allowing thoughts to come up and letting them flow by you without latching on to them. Most of the inner thoughts people have are very self-critical, and if you can allow these thoughts to flow through your brain without attaching to them or thinking about them, you can begin to control your thoughts and mood. Go on the web and read more about meditation and mindfulness if you still need to get a good understanding of them.
I agree with you there. Any bit of stress or anxiety and ocd is right there waiting isn’t it. Thankyou I’ll look more in to meditation. I’ve been listening to some the past few weeks but only at night time when trying to go asleep but they are nice to get your out of your thought pattern for a while. Do you have any suggestions?
I also listen to meditation music at night to go to sleep, but to actually meditate, you should try sitting up & paying attention to get the real benefit. Start with 5 - 10 minutes, then work up to 20 minutes at a time. One can also walk or do other activities like yoga while meditating.
There are all kinds of meditation music, from natural sounds to someone guiding you to relax. I prefer the first kind, but I have used both. Many websites are dedicated to streaming meditation music, such as Amazon, Calm, Wholetunes, CenterPointe, Spotify, etc.
And there are many meditation methods, I initially learned Transcendental Meditation, which is focused on a mantra, but I think any meditation focused on breathing, and "The Breath" is good. Again, the internet has a good history of many Buddha and Hindu forms of meditation, as well as other types used worldwide. Sometimes it helps to meditate along with a group of other people. I think finding a Zoom class that does this might be helpful.
You're doing a great job already! It's a big deal to get a therapist and then actually go to a session. Give yourself big props for having the guts to do that and follow through.
It can be so hard when the OCD is really bad to imagine a time when it will be easier to get through the day. The important thing to remember is that it's not going to happen overnight. OCD locks us into this perfection thinking, so if we can't do everything "right," we feel like we're miserable failures.
Encourage yourself by celebrating the "baby steps." You actually made it to the therapist's office! Sometimes I can't imagine going to therapy as I think I have to have a perfect speech all laid out. Then I realize it doesn't matter what I say when I get there, I just have to show up. The rest will take care of itself. It's hard to be "messy" with OCD, but sometimes it's really good for the brain to see itself being "messy" and not perfectly rehearsed.
Same goes for tackling the OCD "stuff" during the day. It's overwhelming to think of immediately eliminating all the OCD behaviors at once. It's going to take time to change behaviors and to change your thinking about behaviors. This is because we are human and can't just fix the code that's giving the error. I have a hard time allowing that I am human and thus can make mistakes. It's very hard, but it helps to take the pressure off.
Again, you had a really big win today. Therapy can be a very exhausting process. If you need a nap afterward, definitely take one. Your body and mind are burning a lot of energy to think through this stuff. Give yourselves treats and hugs. You're taking huge steps, and while it may not feel like anything is happening yet, it is. It'll just take a bit of time for the magic to be seen. You got this!
"I think I have to have a perfect speech all laid out." That is me, too. I feel I have to get everything out in "this" session, or I won't get the help I need. I also feel that if I don't say everything I can, it is my fault, that I should've thought more about what I wanted to say. I think if I don't tell my therapist everything "now", things will be missed, and I might not have another chance to explain myself. That causes a lot of pressure on me, to be perfect with what I say and how to say it.
Yes! I also blame myself if I don't hit the talking points or manage to "steer" the conversation to what I think is the problem of the day. Sometimes I'm able to go into sessions and just "be," and then something pretty interesting will come up. But those days when my brain is "locked up" = very stressful.
I also find that I'm not able to get help from my problems. I feel that mine are centered around mental illness, and my therapist wants to talk about how I'm doing and what did I do this week. We never seem to get into the actual problem. So, then I especially blame myself for that, because I think I should be able to find the words to talk about that! But, I can't, and everything stays the same, week after week. I don't think I've ever gotten much help with what my core issues are from ANY therapist in my 33 yrs of therapy/psychiatrist appts. That is probably my fault, but I can't help not being able to express my thoughts through words. Sometimes, I end up crying in my session, because I have such a hard time explaining things. Then it really is a waste of time!
I completely commiserate. I feel like there are major parts of how I navigate life that need to be explored but that I have never even touched on. I'll wake up in the middle of the night, thinking, "My god, this is the core problem! I have to remember to talk about that!" and then have no memory in the morning of what the problem was or how to articulate it. So frustrating. I don't know the answer, except to keep trying...
When you think of something to talk about, whether at night or any other time, you could write it down. Even if it's a few words just to jog your memory. I have to do that, too, because I forget everything. If I think of something to say/do, I honestly forget what it was BEFORE I leave the room I'm in! It's like I need a pad of paper around my neck! 🙂 really, though.
I suggest getting an OCD specialist who is appropriately trained in ERP. There are mental health professionals who use techniques that make OCD worse by feeding the OCD cycle, distraction is one of those techniques. OCD experts advise against things like distraction, reassurance giving, thought stopping and talk therapy for OCD. ERP has the most empirical evidence as a treatment for OCD so it’s considered the gold standard treatment. Check out iocdf.org and the book Freedom from OCD by Jon Grayson.
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