Overcoming ROCD

[AlexisKY]

Hi guys, I sort of seem to feel like a broken record sometimes.. haha.

For those who don’t know, I suffer from pure OCD, and I obsess majority over intrusive thoughts. (This will sorta be a bit long post)

I’ve been fine for a while now, and if I’ve had any obsessive type thoughts, I’ve generally been able to brush them off, and/or talk about them with my boyfriend, who is 100% understanding and supportive, always listens, and always reassures me and helps me.

However my ROCD has crept back into my life, and I’m not exactly sure why.

We have a great relationship, we very rarely argue, we don’t lie to each other either. I know in my heart I love him, and I want to spend my life with him, but you guys know how OCD is, it’s telling me otherwise.

I keep having thoughts like “what if I don’t love him anymore?” Or “what if you don’t want to be together” or my brain tricking me into thinking I’m annoyed if he texts me multiple times in a row, and then going back and thinking I’m even annoyed with him at all, or having thoughts that he annoys me - stuff like that.

I’m just not sure why I have ROCD in a healthy relationship. He’s been the best boyfriend to me, compared to my exes that I’ve had, so why would my ROCD be full force in this relationship? I don’t want to lose him at all, or leave him (and I know he’d never leave me over my OCD) it’s just hard.

TLDR; I know asking reassurance can sometimes not help in the way intended, but I definitely need some reassurance, or something to remind/tell myself or practice when I have these thoughts about him.

Thank you!

[nkotbjoeymc]

Same.

[MothFir]

It makes sense to me that you have ROCD in a healthy relationship because OCD attacks what is important to us. If you didn't care about your relationship, the OCD wouldn't have anything to threaten. I don't specifically have ROCD, but in my experience, it's about the time I start thinking "Hey, things are going really well with regard to X" that I start noticing thoughts about "What if such-and-such happens and ruins X" or "what if X isn't really going as well as I think it is?"

You already have an advantage by recognizing that in general these thoughts and doubts are ROCD and not genuine concerns originating in your true self. That might be harder to recognize when you are actually having the thoughts, but if you can step back in those moments and resist the urge to reassure yourself or ask your boyfriend for reassurance, you can help break the cycle and the thoughts will become weaker and less frequent. With my various OCD themes, it's helped for me to expect I'm going to get unwanted thoughts and doubts in certain situations, and to have a plan for how to respond to them. If they're the same old OCD-type questions and uncertainties, I know I need to disregard them and get on things. It's hard to do at the time but it makes life easier in the long run.

[AlexisKY in reply to MothFir]

Thanks for the reply! That’s what I’ve tried reminding myself as well, I know that OCD (over intrusive thoughts) tend to manifest over what’s most important to you, which in my case - is my relationship, I’m terrified of losing my boyfriend, and I do love him with all of my heart. OCD is just so annoying to deal with, telling you “no you don’t love him” or “break up” when they’re the complete opposite of what you actually want lol. It’s just weird how our brains work!

[Abbi34]

I am also in a healthy relationship but my OCD can prevent me from being truly happy, I am very lucky that he is so understanding and understands my daily battles and rituals to a point where he counts so my brain won't tell me to start tapping again he is my reassurance, but deep down I always feel he shouldn't have to. Or he could be living life normally with some one who is not like me.

I have suffered for 17 years now and have come to terms that this is always going to be apart from me and part of me thinks because I have been doing it for so long it is down to habit but I am learning everyday and being on this forum only makes me feel better that I am not the only person living like me.

"OCD people say oh yes I've got that" but these people mean clean freek. I am not like that mine in intrusive thoughts I constantly feel like I have everyone's life on my shoulders I am protecting everyone and its hard work emotionally and physically I wish there was a cure I wish more than anything I could wake up and have a normal day. But OCD is a battle everyday but one I have learnt to live it and will continue to learn strategies to get me through my day to day.

[Abbi34]

Also if you have said you know he will never leave you for your OCD maybe just keep telling your self he won't and ask him for some reassurance no and again but I k ow OCD can make you doubt tour own mind but just k ow deep down that he wouldn't. With what you said about the messages in a row and doubting if you love him or not I am in the same position but also no I wouldn't want anyone different to get through my battle with me 🙂