Will they ever understand?

[Hedgehog25]

Hi all,

I’ve been trying to explain to my family what it’s like to have OCD so I can reach out to them if I need to and also so that they might cut me a bit of slack sometimes. But it’s as if they don’t want to know, or very quickly forget what I’ve explained. Do I give up and just carry on as I am, despite the thought that they’ll never really understand me? I find it so upsetting, it makes me feel so different and alone. I find it hard to open up when it’s like starting from the beginning every time I try to talk.

Can anyone relate?

Thank you

[LuvSun]

Yes I can relate to what you are saying. I found it frustrating to try and explain to close family members what I was going through. It’s hard for people who don’t have OCD to understand how the OCD mind works. For my husband I made him read a book that was written for family and loved ones to try and explain it better. After reading it he seemed to understand what I was dealing with better. The book was written by Jon Hershfield titled “When a Family Member has OCD”

[Hedgehog25 in reply to LuvSun]

Thank you for the suggestion

[deValentin]

It's very difficult to understand the powerful grip OCD can have on someone unless you experience it yourself.

I control reasonably well my eating and I have no gambling problems, so, personally, I find it hard to understand someone who lacks self-control in those domains. It's not easy to put yourself in someone else' s shoes and see things from a different perspective.

[Hedgehog25 in reply to deValentin]

That’s an interesting way of looking at it, thank you

[PaperTigers in reply to deValentin]

Excellent point. I hadn't thought of an example that clear before.

[Ctillou]

Oh yes...had it for decades. I understand your plight. Please know people understand you and are here. Ever looked into NOCD? Great organization and support roups. Blessings always

[PaperTigers]

I know living with OCD can feel incredibly isolating. It's hard for me to talk about the intrusive thoughts so I just pretend I'm fine when I desperately need comfort. I don't talk about it much outside of here and some therapy sessions but the therapist I had that specialized in OCD has retired. I only bring up these things to say that I get it. I get feeling alone. I know what it's like to not know where to turn. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you don't have the support of your family and hope you can find someone you can trust who you can confide in. Please know that no matter how you feel, you are NOT alone.

[Hedgehog25 in reply to PaperTigers]

Thank you, this reply has really touched me. I very much hope you have someone to confide in too. I’m happy to chat on here if you ever need to.

[Madonna4]

I can also relate.. In my family only my mom knows that I have OCD my sisters don't know I've never told them...I told my best friend a couple of years ago and I forgot about it and now that it is coming back full time I tried to explain to her a bit she understood some but I don't feel like sharing more because it seems as though she is not interested by it. My other friend has ADHD and she always talks about her thoughts and I feel like there are a lot of things in common between ADHD and OCD.

I just keep the thoughts to myself I share them sometimes with my therapist.

Stay strong!

[FirstResponder23]

hello,

I’m sorry to hear you are struggling to have your family understand your OCD. I may not have struggled with family, but I have struggled with society in general. I have told very few people about my struggles with OCD in person, and it seems that when I have I get a very typical answer of people going “yeah me too!” But you can tell they think of OCD as what is portrayed on TV, and not the actual struggle we face. I have found it very comforting to discuss on these forms as there are so many people that do understand what you are feeling. I also don’t know if you’ve seen a therapist that specializes in OCD. But finding one that does has really been beneficial for me because I know there is someone who may not feel what I do, but has a very good understanding and has seen so many others that have gone through almost exactly the same things.

I also don’t know your family dynamics, but I can understand how it is like you are starting from the beginning every time you try to open up. Just remember that they don’t go through it so they will never feel what we do when we are struggling, and that’s okay. Talking to a therapist about this might give you some guidance on how to approach your family and work through those feelings.

[EchoesEchoing]

I definitely relate to what you've shared. Aside from the disorder itself, the biggest OCD-related challenge I've experienced is the misunderstanding I've received from others. It makes me feel incredibly isolated at times.

In my experience, most people (even friends and family) don't try that much to understand, but I am very grateful to the ones in my life that do try.

If you're interested, here's a free article I wrote on my free OCD advocacy blog about how people without OCD can learn to better understand the OCD experience: theocdadvocate.substack.com...

Of course, whether or not someone is willing to understand your OCD is out of your control. After someone shows me time and again they aren't willing to understand, I do my best to accept their "can't/won't" and move on, but it's really hard at times because we're all social creatures that need some level of understanding and validation. Best of luck to you.

[LuvSun in reply to EchoesEchoing]

I read your article and thought it was excellent- thanks for sharing

[EchoesEchoing in reply to LuvSun]

Thanks so much for the positive feedback. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

[Hedgehog25 in reply to LuvSun]

Yes me too! Thank you for your perspective and support