Trapped by OCD and Perfectionism

[Guest1357KT]

I need to post this. I think I have a severe problem with OCD and perfectionism. I have lived with this for a long time. It has touched every aspect of my life, and I don't know what else to do. For the last 30 years, I have felt a need to be perfect in everything, and I do mean everything. Whether it is making breakfast in the morning, or working on a major project, I obsess over every detail, right down to the nub. I barely eat or sleep now, see things always from a point of view of loss, and it is a never-ending cycle. It is holding me back from living a productive life. Any thoughts on this are welcomed.

[MothFir]

A therapist trained in OCD (as well as medication) can get you to a much better place. Therapeutic techniques can help you change the way you view your obsessions and can help you tolerate and habituate to the awful discomfort you probably feel when you don't do things "just the right way."

I have had OCD for close to 40 years and I just started seeing a therapist this year. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, a type of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is very effective. It requires you to go against your obsessive tendencies and tolerate the anxiety that results, but a good therapist helps this happen in a reasonable, structured way that is achievable. It is challenging and often makes the patient feel worse in the short term (because you are not allowed to do whatever rituals you've always used to ease your anxiety), but in the long term ERP "rewires" your brain so that you can have mental peace without performing the exhausting compulsions.

If you absolutely can't see a therapist, there are lots of self-help materials online and in print that could help, at least to a degree. Keep in mind that due to COVID most therapists are seeing their patients online now, so you may have options you didn't before (i.e., the therapist could be 200 miles away and it's not a problem). Good luck!

[sligoguy]

my ocd is sorta like that .I feel I need to know how stuff works even when I have not been taught it in the past ....and that I should understand how machines .or controls .do what they do ....its a hard one ....if t I dont get the thing to make sense of how it work or what it mrans I feel stupid and not safe ....I tell myself nobody knows every thing ...and an old therapist said to me one time did you worry about this before you had ...the ocd in the past .I said no .she said its t he ocd that is the problem not you

[3BirdLover]

Oh yes....I know how this can cripple you. Not just being perfect, but also possibly having to do something over and over again to be sure it's just right. I had a job when I was about 20 yrs old that I took FOREVER to complete because I couldn't let it go....it was not perfect enough. It's is NOT a happy place to be. Please listen to what MothFir is saying here.... you CAN get better and learn how to handle it.

With OCD our brains get into a LOOP of thinking and we find it hard to get out. There are chemicals in our brains that are not doing their job right. It is not your fault.

This is probably not something you can handle yourself.... please find an OCD therapist that can help you through this.

[DeathtoOCD]

Well, see that is the thing about OCD, it affects everything, for me my OCD affected me basically 24/7 so I get you. And it attracts me things to it and the more you give in the more it takes, it's insidious that way.