Hi! So I have been fighting with my thoughts and compulsions of re-reading my lessons, books and literature again and again to achieve perfection for 2 years. My tongue movements increase after I begin reading and anxiety generates which makes me unable to do anything. I lag behind in many mediocre tasks because of this disease and I see colleagues getting done with it easily without worries.
My studies are affected to the point that I hate those thoughts of study because they generate anxiety. I have been a very good intellectual in the past but since this disaster has come to my life, I can no longer focus on my goals.
Anyone who has suffered the same and discovered useful remedies for this OCD, kindly help a fellow human being.
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FearingOcd
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Hello!! Ohmygoodness...it feels super powerful to read this. This is one of my major symptoms. BUT NOW I AM BETTER! I'll describe how it was for me, and then the kind of treatment that helped. Hopefully it can help you too.
This perfectionism around reading and learning took away so much for me for so long. Re-reading the same paragraph looking for something I was not exactly sure what, flipping back and forth with pages. The nagging question for me is always "do I understand, though?" "do I know enough to understand this?", "do I remember?" and obviously, obsessing over that question makes it literally impossible to process something. It was the same with watching documentaries and tv shows. And the anxiety around reading/studying is something I can totally relate to as well. I got through for a while...it took me a really long time to recognize that I did not have to live and work like this. The tongue movement symptoms that you are referring to are not something I experienced...but that makes sense and sounds hard!
I teach history to middle schoolers. A little more than a year ago my OCD got completely unmanageable. I would literally have a panic attack at the thought of planning a lesson. I could not process textbook reading. My eyes would dance all over the page, re-reading...checking. I was put on personal leave from my job.
I started an intensive ExRP (exposure and ritual prevention) program and learned much more about what my brain was used to doing and how to help it. The treatment was really difficult, but I am so so SO grateful. One of the first things I had to do was read an article (super short...about OCD!) without annotating, and without re-reading anything. I had to breathe through it a lot to prevent myself from re-reading, and not picking up a pencil. It felt really scary not to do this. And then, I had to explain what I had learned to my therapist without checking anything. I ended up practicing this so much, with varying content and coaching from my therapist, that I now know how to recognize the feeling of OCD when I am re-reading and checking, and the feelings associated with it enough to push through.
Thanks a lot for reaching out to me , it really means a lot and thanks for explaining the basics of this disorder. It must have given insurmountable amount of happiness overcoming this OCD, I can’t even imagine, so SO HAPPY for you.
I am in the middle of finding ways to get cured of this disease and I don’t know what the future holds for me. It’s difficult to tell yourself that everything will turn out fine when you go through a kind of torture everyday. Everyday is a struggle sadly.
I wish you all the best , you are a great person !!
It is definitely difficult to tell yourself that everything will turn out fine. I find it really helpful to think about OCD as a journey, rather than something that gets "cured." OCD still has tons to say to me every day (some days are better than others!) but I know more about it and feel stronger now. No matter what happens, know that you deserve the compassionate treatment, and that you are not alone.
Hola Engel! Un placer conocerlo. He luchado también bastante con este problema pero no logro superarlo. He intentado con la terapia cognitiva explicada en el libro de David Burns y Albert Ellis pero sigo sin poder progresar. He intentado hace un tiempo atras el ERP pero no logró vencer el miedo porque debo comprender para estudiar. No se si tuviera algún pensamiento, idea o estrategia que pudiera ayudarme. Realmente sufro bastante. Si podría compartirme su plan de afrontamiento con el que se recuperó. Se lo agradecería con todo mi corazón.
I definitley can relate! I often have to re-read or re-listen out of fear of missing something/not understanding. I do this with fiction books as well! I think the root for me is a fear of not understanding/being misunderstood because I also do this with conversations with people where I need to repeat myself often to make sure they understand me. You are not alone!
There is fear and anxiety both in my case which produce other somatic symptoms also. There is a significant waste of energy and what not. It requires ERP Therapy I know but I am trying to do it myself so far.
I can relate to this one. It takes me so long to read things because of it. I've never received targeted therapy for this, so my advice is just what I've personally experienced as helpful.
When I read (for comprehension purposes, such as learning and/or for my job), I take notes. The physical act of writing helps me to focus on the subject and truly comprehend it. I also like to highlight within the book itself as I read, if that's possible. If no one is around, I also like to read out loud. Hearing the words also helps me to comprehend.
It's very hard for me to just sit still and quiet and read (and comprehend). All sorts of BFRM's come out! I identify with your struggle and hope you get some good advice!
Reading out loud is also a great strategy! I like being dramatic as I read...it can be especially fun with super dry texts.
When I was first learning how to treat OCD, one of my exposures was to NOT take notes, or annotate. I am just starting to get back into doing that now, but I have to watch myself so that I don't write or highlight EVERYTHING...
Dramatically reading is a fun idea. I've never tried it like that but now want to
That's really interesting that your therapy helped you get away from notes and highlighting. I never thought of those things as rituals and/or coping mechanisms, but I guess they can be. Just another testament to why ERP/actual therapy is really most effective.
Very important point of ‘not annotating’. It further reinforces my compulsions and takes away extra time when you have so little. Any help would be great as I have been trying to cope with OCD myself without any professional guidance.
Your tips are amazing, I highly appreciate you for giving your thoughts into this post. I will keep this post running with points that I find useful and all others can benefit also!
Like it is said, ERP (exposure and response prevention) is the best way to treat this. I had a bit of re-reading, wasn't my main thing but it was a part of it, to be honest the best way to deal with it is working your way up to the point where you intentional do something wrong? ERP works great , but it take a lot of work. And since I went though it, I am much better, I mean I will at times try to be like wait did I read that or go back to a word before where I left off, but that is some occasional and I catch myself doing it.
Hi - reading everyone's responses is very very helpful. My son suffers from this. He takes a long time to read because he has to re-read and highlight and annotate. Would you have any exposure ideas for essay writing? Or simply answering questions related to text that he's just read? Thank you so much.
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