My OCD is affecting every area of my life. I do many different behaviors to void my intrusive thoughts, which take up most of my time. The thoughts are the main problem though.
I'm always doing something to ward off the bad thoughts through behaviors. I am plagued by this every day, almost constantly. My mind feels full almost all of the time. I also have schizoaffective disorder which adds to my problems. It is hard to decipher which is the OCD and which is the schizoaffective disorder. Both illnesses continue to ruin my life. I am constantly thinking, and can't find peace. I've been suffering w/ these illnesses and others for most of my life. Is anyone else dealing w/ this? It is very hard to get through a minute, let alone a whole day. I am always fighting my thoughts and doing odd behaviors to get by, but it doesn't help. The next batch comes w/in minutes (or less). I have some better times in my day, but they don't last. Even watching TV or doing other things, don't relieve the thoughts. The behaviors ease up more than the thoughts when I'm busy, but I am never just, good. What have others tried if you deal w/ these same issues? I had tried CBT, (cognitive behavioral therapy), but it wasn't useful, b/c my OCD is so bad and the schizoaffective disorder makes everything harder to work on. I just want peace in my head. I guess I'm not asking for help, I just would like to know if anyone else is going through similar problems. 😢
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My child is 12 and has had signficant OCD symptoms for years. It is exhausting for both the person afflicted as well as those who love them. We had tremendous success with exposure therapy although some behaviors are starting to come back again. I don't know if we should do another intense sequence of sessions again or if weekly video-sessions can help.What I found remarkable was how quickly improvement happened when the proper professionals were involved *and* my child was a willing participant. No matter what help one has, the individual has to buy in to the process.
Anyway, the point I'm making is that OCD seems to be very fragile *if* you attack it correctly.
It's bizzare how powerful it is/was until it wasn't. Obviously it can return, as in our family's case, but it's not as scary this time around because it feels very curable/treatable/manageable.
Im sorry it took me so long to respond to your msg.Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I hope your son has good progress w/ his therapy. I feel that if he did well in the past, he will do well again. Hopefully this time, he will do better, sooner, b/c of his progress before. Maybe, if he already knows how to tackle his OCD from the previous time, it will be easier for him to try again. I wish the best for you both!
Hi! Yes, I am on meds and seeing a therapist. I am feeling better the last few days, and am going to keep trying what others have mentioned. I really relate to a lot of what people are going through, and that alone, helps a great deal. When I have a bad/intrusive thought and feel the temptation to do a compulsion, I think about what others on this forum have said, and try to resist the urge to do it. It doesn't always work and I understand that it won't always work. Up until I joined this group, I felt really alone and very overwhelmed by my OCD. I will use the information I have gotten here and continue to apply it, to keep feeling better. If I should feel bad again, which I know is possible, I will try CBT again w/ my therapist. For now, though, I am good w/ how far I've come in only a few days. I am aware, that me feeling better so soon, might be b/c I have never had the info I do now, and maybe I'm running w/ it ?? I'm not sure about that part. Maybe it is too soon to tell if I am genuinely getting better, but for now, it's a good thing for me. Thank you for replying to me! I really hope you are doing well, also.
The hardest lesson to learn, IMO, is that we have to become comfortable being uncomfortable. You’ve heard it a thousand times….. but it’s not your thoughts that are the problem, it’s your reaction to it.
Hello, I wanted to say hi. I typed “schizoaffective” and “OCD” into the search, and your post popped up. I really related to it. I know it’s from a year ago, but I thought I’d respond to it anyhow. I also have schizoaffective and OCD (as well as social phobia), so I could really relate to a lot of what you said. For me, every day is a struggle, and I don’t think most people can comprehend the amount of work it takes just to exist. Like you, I’m also constantly thinking…. The running commentary never stops and it prevents me from truly participating, connecting, or being a part of anything. Even watching tv is difficult (and I can’t really read for more than 5 minutes, though sometimes I can do audiobooks). My running commentary even dissects my commentary! It’s madness…. On the subject of obsessions, they become like a game of whack-a-mole: just when I think I’ve found relief, a new obsession pops up. Which leads me to trying to find relief through various (mostly mental) compulsions. Sometimes I’m hit with irrational obsessions (like I’m accidentally praying to the devil or I secretly wish bad things for myself and others), and I’m always convinced people hate me and that I’m unintelligent. This all blends into my schizoaffective because I can get very delusional, sometimes manic—and then more or less depressed—and my obsessions, fears, and compulsions warp into magical thinking. All the while, I keep thinking I’ve found answers—religious, spiritual, and philosophical epiphanies—and that I can finally “see” the truth, but it’s only fool’s gold: it provides me with a temporary relief that never lasts. Like some with schizoaffective, I turned to alcohol for a while; it used to work because it made me numb for a few hours out of the day, but it stopped working and only made my situation worse, so I had to quit it. Now I just try to accept my condition on a daily basis, and some days are easier than others. Anyhow, I just wanted to say hello to another person with schizoaffective and OCD and vent. I guess you could consider this like an electronic “message in a bottle,” sent from one schizoaffective/OCD island to another letting each other know we’re not alone. Sorry for rambling. Cheers!
I know what you mean about the commentary getting dissected by the commentary. It's like I have a whole thought but in the middle of it another one starts, also in the middle or at the end of the first thought.
I, also, have thoughts about the devil. For me, I think of god and the devil, together at times. I think that god controls my thoughts and whatever he wants to happen in my life, he will do-if it's bad it feels like he's the devil.
Sorry, I'm just saying that because you have schizoaffective disorder too, and I was hoping you could understand what I'm talking about even if you can't relate to it.
It's so hard to have both OCD and schizoaffective disorder. It's one playing into the other.
I can't be part of things either. I feel no connection to literally anything: people, feelings, anything. When something sad is happening, I have to make myself feel sad. I do that with other emotions, too. All except anger. I'm pretty good with that one. Lol.
I used to love to read. I wish I still could like I had many years ago, actually at a much younger age. I have trouble processing info. I think I'm smart, but I just can't "understand" some things.
And, OMG, I know exactly what you are saying about seeing the truth. At one time in my life, I had thought I had to pray and pray til I got it right. And, that god was "telling" me to. Not in a voice, but through my thoughts. I would pray, leave the room, go back, and do this at least 2-3 times, sometimes more. But it was god that was giving me the feelings to do all this. I had thought I was being really spiritual-just the OCD and schizoaffective.
I had thought I had epiphanies, too. Like I found the perfect answer to a problem and that was the ultimate one. The answer couldn't be any better! And that I was the only one who "saw" these answers. Then, yes, they turned out not to be what I really believed. Then, another thought and answer problem would happen and despite not being right about the one before, I did it again...and again.
I really appreciate you writing to me-I feel understood. I had honestly thought I was the only one having the craziness of what both illnesses do to my mind.
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