First day on here, I am a 25 year old man with a lovely Fiance and 2 year old boy. My life is good and I have nothing to complain about really but I suffer with such bad OCD and anxiety.
It takes over my every day life and decisions such as which car parking spot to park in can be such a challenge incase 'something bad happens'.
My life resolves around ' I have to do such a thing because if I don't, something bad might happen to my mum or son or family member'. It literally takes over everything from making a drink having to rinse the glass out 7 times and getting in the shower having to turn it on and off 7 times.
I look at certain numbers throughout the day and literally cringe if I have to say or look at certain numbers, it's that bad I don't even want to write the number down on here. 'incase something bad happens'.
If people notice any of the rituals that I do, they probably think what a weirdo.
If anyone else suffers from this, please get in touch and I hope we can help each other to cope.
Written by
DH25
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11 Replies
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I would like to welcome you to the OCD Support Network.
We are here to help each other.
Also, we provide sympathy, compassion and hope to everyone.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time with OCD.
I suffer from OCD daily, and it very painful mentally.
Try to resist the compulsions.
Sit with the anxiety and the feared consequences, by focusing in a room.
The anxiety will be high in the beginning, but it slowly get lower.
Later, when the thought keeps popping up, categorize it as an OCD thought.
Slowly, when you do not give importance to the thought, it will fade away.
I know it is not easy, but we can just keep trying.
Your situation is actually pretty common among people with OCD - I can certainly relate to the feeling of 'something bad will happen' if trivial things are not done a certain way. I just responded to someone else with the gory details of my particular obsessions and the way I've been able to largely overcome them:
Bottom line, you need to practice behavior therapy (ERP, exposure and response prevention) that will involve you doing something you feel you shouldn't do, and then sitting with the anxiety until it lessens on its own, as desipurple described. Start with something small, like maybe writing one of your feared numbers. I think on some level you must know that nothing bad will happen, and you need to draw on that knowledge to combat the very real FEELING that something bad WILL happen. I think a big part of successful ERP is recognizing that the FEELING of doom will come, and it will feel genuine, just as surely as if you were lying in front of an oncoming train. But it's just a FEELING, it's not real. Tolerating it will cause it to lessen over time. The next time you write the same 'bad' number, it won't feel so wrong. When you are comfortable with one number, move onto another.
If you can, you should consider medication, as you may find one (an SSRI) that really takes the edge off your obsessions with few if any side effects. This makes behavior therapy easier. Self-help books like Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz and Stop Obsessing! by Edna Foa and Reid Wilson are very good, and a therapist might be even better.
Most importantly, know that your symptoms are pretty classic OCD and they can be managed to the point that you can live normally. Don't give up - you don't have to live with them. I've dealt with this stuff for over 30 years and am currently fighting my way out of a bit of a relapse after 20 years of OCD being mostly under control. It's been a reminder that the medication and therapy really work, and I'm in a much better place now than just a few weeks ago.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. That is a big help. I started my first session of therapy last week so hopefully in time I can get out of it. It's good to know that I'm not the only one and it can be dealt with.
I suffer from exactly what you have. I am 67 and I have had this same grea and battle with numbers and anxiety for years. It is hard. I have had a very successful career in radio and tv but I am no retired. My ocd has been with me since about age 8. Most people except my wife ever knit I’ve I touch things three times or go in and out doors three times. Sometimes 4 or 5 is the number. If I don’t do it something bad will happen to one of my family members. I have tried counseling and some medication. I recently decided to take it on again. But so far no counseling or med has worked. I just suffer. Sad you are having the problem. Hang in there. I think someday you will find a med that works. It seems 80 to 90 percent of people get help with counseling and or med. give it a try. What do you have to loose. Keep posting you results. If I can answer questions let me know.
Thank you for your kind reply. I will definitely keep you updated. I had my first therapy session a few days ago so I will see how that goes. Thank you
Good luck young man. I did not know until I was 35 what OCD was. I read a book called the Little Boy Who Could Not Stop Washing his hands. You should read it. Until then I just felt I had to do these habits or rituals to keep family safe. I did not think I was crazy because I had a career went to college became tv and radio manager and a professor. Many people with OCD are very successful. I under stand Brittany Spears has it and many others. I hear Robin Willians has it. Don’t let it define you just keep going. My mom who is 92 had a cleaning ocd her whole life. We just thought mom was strict about cleaning. My brother checker. He checks all the time. They neither one has sought help just lived with the time it took to clean and check!
You are not alone. I do the same thing. I use to click my car alarm on 7 times just to make sure the doors are locked. Even thought I heard it beep 7 times. There just might be that chance it unlocks. My neighbors must have though wtf especially since it was done in the middle of the night. Prozac has helped me immensely. It did not take away everything because I do new rituals but it did lessen the fear. I tell my self the same thing. Something bad will happen to my family members. If this isn’t crazy I don’t know what is. My pillow cases the part that have the opening have to point in the direction of the cemetery my grandparents are buried in. The cemetery is 10 miles away but I tell myself if I don’t something bad will happen. I don’t know if it’s anxiety or because I use to make myself throw up but now cannot even if I tried because of surgery but I like to make myself gag. It’s horrible and I do it 18 times. Sometimes it takes forever because my gag reflex is gone from doing it so much. I hate starting the new day cause I have to do all these things. I try to tell myself something bad will happen if I do it more than 8 times to trick my brain but it doesn’t work I don’t know why. I feel crazy and nuts to be honest. I’m glad I found this forum to vent to. Keep writing it helps
Thanks for sharing. Glad you get some relief from Prozac. It is sad we have to do these things. I work as stopping as some therapy teaches but it comes back. God Bless you. Let’s both keep working on it. I am trying prayer to help me reduce my compulsions. Just hard.
I don't have those particular symptoms but I'd like to send encouragement your way. It's brave to post like this. Keep asking questions and pushing for answers. Best, M.
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