Hopeless

[Hockeygoalie]

I'm new here. I suffer from OCD, intrusive thoughts with the compulsion to get constant reassurance and proof that these thoughts will not happen. It comes and goes. It is very distressing for me. I can't enjoy anything when I have these thoughts. An example of these thoughts, and there are way more than one, is that I worry that I would lose control of my emotions one day, get angry to the point I do something rash that would end me up in trouble, socially or legally. Does anyone else suffer from this? I worry what I would be like in 10 years from now.

I have had OCD for 10 years, and it went dormant for 9 years, all of a sudden it came back last year. I'm 26, and have little to no hope for my future if I have to live with this damn condition for the rest of my life and constantly having these thoughts bombard me throughout my life. Does anyone else, preferably an older person, have or had these same issues?

I worry about the future and what could happen to me. I don't think I can continue to live for another 10 years or more like this. Will these thoughts come true? Is the OCD being realistic?

I can't enjoy the things I used to enjoy anymore.

[MothFir]

I have not had that particular form of OCD but I have had many others (contamination, scrupulosity, checking stoves, etc) since I was 10 or so. Now I'm 45, and it has come and gone over the years. I take medication and do self-help and therapy.

I have never been suicidal because of OCD and I hope you're not feeling that way either (if you are, please call a hotline). My OCD goes for years being quiet or just a minor nuisance (with the aforementioned medication and therapy) but when it flares up it can be bad. I understand the feeling of despair, where every waking moment (and some sleeping ones) are tainted by constant rumination and worry and you feel you have nothing to look forward to.

BUT rest assured that with some work (again, therapy and maybe medication) you can largely beat the OCD and ignore it. I have accepted that it is my particular challenge in life, and some times will be worse than others. Some people have missing limbs, extreme food allergies, terrible family life, PTSD, or whatever--I have intrusive thoughts. Usually, I can ignore the thoughts or at least manage them. In the end, I have had a lot of great experiences, accomplished a fair amount, and have a lot to be grateful for, despite some rough periods with OCD.

If you take a proactive approach you will be able to have some peace again. Take advantage of all the resources there are these days. You are not alone and things will get better.

[Huskymamaa in reply to MothFir]

Very encouraging! Thank you.

[Hidden]

I would like to welcome you to the OCD Support Network.

We are here to give support and help each other.

We are in this together.

I am of an older age, and I have OCD since many years of my life.

I have constantly different type of obsessions, which are reassurance seeking.

I fall into the OCD trap with endless loop of repetitive thoughts.

I just hope you feel better soon.

Wishing you good health.

[OCDGeorge]

Hi goalie. You seem to be having a rough time, I’ve been there too. Your thoughts seem to be unrealistic (you are almost convinced that trouble will catch up). This could lead you to a problem, since depression is common among patients with OCD.

However, all of this can improve (a lot). I highly recomend visiting a doctor and take some therapy.

In my case, I went from almost out of control to a normal, more calm way of managing my thoughts.

Hope you do better, if you have doubts, send me a text, I will be more than happy to assist you.

[Acb0010]

I’m 35 and have had OCD my entire life (just didn’t know it until age 26 or so). The thing to remember and accept about mental illness is that it is going to be with you the rest of your life. However, there is help and tools to cope with it. We’re very blessed to live in a time where people are more aware and there are many forms of aid out there. The thing about it (as I am still learning) is that you have to continue to work on it. You can’t idle and think “oh I’m good now, I can stop medication, counseling, etc”. Unfortunately, this is the deal we’ve been handed and we have to continue to work at wellness and learn to live with it.

You will get through this period. Just like anything else in life, there are seasons. Just hang in there and use your tools and get the help you need!!!

[3BirdLover in reply to Acb0010]

You are right when you say that they now know so much more about OCD than years ago. When I first got it at a very young age and even in my 20's I thought I was alone.... when I finally found an article about it, I realized that I wasn't alone and that there was a condition name for this!

[3BirdLover]

Hi....there IS HOPE!! I have had so many types of OCD over the years I can't even count them. Mine manifest in fear of harming others, religious and scruplulosity, have had contamination issues before, other intrusive thoughts, etc. It is SO VERY HARD...I know what you mean about not being able to enjoy life, because of these thoughts in your head. I'm not sure what you mean about hearing from someone "older" but I'm 67 and have had OCD in one way or another since I was 6.

I want you to know THERE IS HELP and you CAN get better!!!!

For myself, I've had therapy / counseling on and off, but only in the past year or so, I'm just finding out that you have to have a therapist that understands OCD very well and is trained in it. We cannot just see any therapist...I can vouch for that. My therapists I've had were not qualified, therefore I found little help from them. I currently am not in therapy, however if my OCD kicks up again (or even if it doesn't) I'm going to seek out an OCD therapist who will help me with ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) treatment. You will learn how to deal with your obsessions.

The other thing is ... are you currently on medication? In 2017 my meds quit working and I was a mess. Now I'm on Trintellix and am back on track. My head is in a very good place. Yes, sometimes a trigger will happen, but I am able to actually enjoy my life and doing things.

Check out where to find a qualified OCD near you here iocdf.org/ and click on "find help".

I hope this helps. Here you will find alot of support!!! It WILL GET BETTER!!!!

[TP68]

Don’t ever give up. You will go through high and low times with OCD. One thing that is always true is that OCD is a liar. The thoughts are not true even though your ocd brain tells you so. It is distressing to push against these thoughts but you need to do so in order to weaken ocd. Please find a therapist who specializes in OCD Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy.

[Hidden]

Hi Hockeygoalie-- I totally get how discouraging it is when you think you've beaten OCD or kicked it to the curb and then it comes roaring back.

This is a particularly tough time for all of us now and we are all more vulnerable to flare-ups. Try not to get mad at yourself that the OCD is back. Be gentle with yourself. See if you can regroup and find some support with an OCD therapist, even just a few sessions. You've been able to manage this before, you'll definitely get back on track again.

Hang in there. Go Bruins!