Hello everyone! I am from Taiwan, now 27 years old. Glad to find this community.
(My English is not very good, but I'm working on it.
I was diagnosed with OCD three months ago. My Obsession is mainly about worrying to harm or having harmed others or myself. When my intrusive thoughts appear, I feel very anxious because I worry what if I am also carrying out the thoughts (or going to carry out the thoughts) while I am thinking. I also worry whether I am think about these thoughts purposely or not because I think intentionally think about these thoughts is worse than unintentionally think about them.(But I think it is very hard to identify thoughts are intentional or unintentional ). Usually my compulsion is to check if anything happen when I have these thoughts. Or tried to remember if I have harmed anyone.
Now I am taking medicine regularly, and also conducting
psychotherapy. However, my psychotherapist doesn't use ERP as a treatment. I decide to find another one with knowledge and experience of ERP to help me. But in my country therapists who know ERP seem to be scarce.
I also bought many self-help books. I learn many useful tools to deal with my intrusive thoughts. I got better recently. But sometimes I failed and did compulsions.
I think the hardest one is to recognize and accept that the thought is just a thought, not a danger. Living with uncertainty is also difficult to me. But I keep practicing and practicing to build the attitude of acceptance . I would like to know how you tell yourself when intrusive thoughts appear and how to keep a strong mind to live with uncertainty? Could you share your experiences? Thank you very much!