I’ve had some stress in my life today (just some boy issues honestly). But I realized i finally had to put an end to a 5 year on and off toxic person in my life. It made me have some realizations about myself and how I allow myself to be treated and what that must mean about my self confidence.
Anyway, it made me start over analyzing- my biggest compulsion. Analyzing myself, analyzing him, analyzing why all of us as humans are why we are the way we are, if narcissists are really at fault if its just the way their brain is programmed— you can see how the thought spiral started. Basically all of my themes are now on full blast begging me to analyze them and telling me its urgent. My existential OCD, religious OCD, fear of suicide OCD (no not suicidal, fear of losing control and becoming suicidal).
My main worry right now is, if something this minor in my life causes me such a flare up, what would happen if something awful happened? Would my OCD drive me to psychosis? (another huge fear of mine, please no comments about anyones experience with psychosis as its very triggering for me).
In addition to this, earlier I somehow came across an old article that triggered my OCD long ago about a kundalini awakening, third eyes, chakras, etc. I’m hugely triggered by any idea that suggests reality is not real. And when I get too triggered by it, I’m always worried that I’m gonna make myself go crazy because someone once told me that if you find yourself believing in the possibility of another reality its a sign of psychosis developing (again, please dont confirm or deny this as its a huge trigger).
I just really need some support right now guys and suggestions of how to calm my overactive mind as I’m spiraling quickly