I hope everyone is doing well. I had my weekly ERP session with my therapist and this time she took out a larger and sharper knife for me to use. I didn’t have to hold it as close to her this time since it was a new knife but I didn’t realize how much it would increase my anxiety. My appt was a few hours ago now and I didn’t have the urge to check on her but I’m now experiencing that familiar sense of panic and guilt in my chest that OCD has given me many times. I know I didn’t harm her and everything OCD says is a liar but this still isn’t easy. I almost gave in and texted her a few minutes ago but then I stopped myself and decided that although this is excruciating at times I am going to ride this wave of panic and anxiety and not give in to compulsions. I have to starve the monster and not feed it. It’s just hard when OCD is telling you that you did something terrible. Anyways, thought I’d share and I hope that by tomorrow afternoon I can report that I didn’t give into my compulsions and resisted all checking. Any words of encouragement are welcome! I’d love to hear some success stories from all of you - it keeps me motivated!
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MyOCD123
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Hi 123 - I'm glad to hear from you. It sounds like you did great with your therapy session. I feel like I've gotten to know you some, and I TRULY believe that you would never hurt ANYONE. It is definitely the OCD playing its nasty tricks. You have no desire or intent to hurt anyone. It's very easy for me to see that.
Thank you! I’m not sure if I could be doing this without the support of this community. I have gone a whole 24 hours without checking and have no plans to do so in the next 24 hours. It was extremely uncomfortable but just another tool I can use to remind myself of all the times OCD has showed me a false memory or feeling. How have you been doing?
Hi 123 - I'm glad it's the weekend. I'm getting interested in how nutrition plays a big part in our brain function. Does anyone have any good information on this?
Yes, thank God for the weekend! I don’t have any info on this but I would assume that healthier foods make for an over all healthy body, mind, and soul....but I think I eat way too much chocolate to know if this is true! 😂😂
Wow, you are doing well and you are right that you have to starve the monster rather than feeding it. After it loses it grip on you, then will fade away.
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