Pressure

I am feeling judged and pressure of others opinions to have a child. I am still awaiting to see the fertility clinic but recently saw the gp for a totally different matter. She judged me so much for wanting to wait for a year and said I may not be able to have a child after. Also having a child will give meaning. Is really women's meaning just children? Again someone who mentors me also was pushing me to pregnancy. I'm strong and could cope with it when l have bearly had 2 years post cancer of a life. Obviously it depends on what the fertility say but why is having a child so much about others opinion on what you should do or not?

[fee-B]

Hi hidden,

Im sure people around you are meaning well. However as a woman who could not have children, I Know that there is more than having babies to bring you a fulfilled life. Ask yourself what YOU want. NOT what everyone else wants you to have. Nearly all of my friends and family that have had children have found it a huge life change and really hard work, so be sure your ready.

Having said that, my experience was that fertility treatment has waiting lists and can take time. So if you want children in the future, do go to the doctors to seek advice. They should be able to give you times scales. By the time you go through with fertility you could be ready.

Good luck with it all, I wish you well.

Fee B

[_MrsC]

Oh I’m so sorry to hear this. I am disappointed your gp is not looking after your emotional well-being by saying your life will have meaning if you have a child. Does that mean that for those of us who can’t that our lives are meaningless? Of course not. To me the meaning of life is to be thankful for the life we are given, to rise to the challenges we are set and to make a difference to the lives of others in whatever way we can. God put us on this earth to nurture his creation. We can all do that in our own unique way. We don’t need to add to the population to do so. Choose what you want to do with your life because it’s yours. You may have a different perspective from others as a cancer survivor but your perspective is the only important one when determining your next steps. Keep your strength and belief in yourself. x