So, where to start? I'm 21, and i've been struggling with depression over the past 6 or so years. My Dad passed away 5 years ago (sudden heart attack) and we had a pretty up-and-down relationship...he was pretty abusive. To put it nicely, he wasn't exactly 'Dad of the year'. But on the other hand, my upbringing wasn't all bad. So, this being the case, i'm left with unresolved issues, making it feel impossible to actually grieve for him.
I've tried all sorts of different things to help me get past this - ranging from different medication, stress therapy, counseling, CBT...the list is pretty much endless. But no matter how hard i try to get myself out of this pit of manic depression, it never seems to budge it. If anything, i've been getting worse. But, as many of you may have already experienced, i get the usual 'shove-off' when i try to discuss this with my GP. His usual response is to slap a prescription in my hand for different anti-depressants and show me the door. Otherwise i get the, 'well give it a few days, and see how you feel'. Makes sense - i've been struggling to cope with severe depression for the past 6 years, but yeah, a few days will be all i now need to sort this out! Unbelievable.
Anyway, that's enough ranting for now. I just feel like discussing these soul-crushing feelings with someone who can actually understand would really be beneficial. I'm at the point where i'm giving up talking to friends or family; i just get the sympathetic nod and pat on the shoulder. Surprisingly not very helpful - i appreciate that discussing mental health is a bit of a difficult issue for some, but sympathy isn't really what i'm crying out for. Just some kind of cure would be nice. You can always dream!
Well, thanks for reading my Friday night rant. Anyone who has any tips, or any kind of miracle drug that can send me back to being a worry-free kid, please get in touch.
Good luck and much love to anyone finding life to be pretty pants.
Shell