Would be nice to talk to someone about my problems

[tw9356]

hi i'm new to this and not really good about telling people i know how i feel so here goes, i'm 24 and a student and believe i have been suffering from depression for a few years, but recently it has got worse quite a lot worse, there are times when i feel fine like when i'm out with people but end up drinking way to much and i feel like i just ruin it for everyone, then there are the times i'm alone, i end up just breaking down or just feeling numb.

I was just wondering if anyone had any advise (i'm seeing a doctor tommorow),

I'm just tired of felling sad, angry, scared, depressed, paranoid and guilty all the time and more than anything i'm sick of feeling that i am not enough for people,

I know this must seem like a really whiney post but i really dont have anyone i feel i can talk too about these problems

[MAS_Nurse]

Welcome to the community Tw9356. You say you are not good expressing yourself but you did very well with this post. Also very pleased that you have taken the first step and made an appointment with your Dr. It may be a good idea to write a few sentences on how you feel so that you can tell the GP or even show them the notes you have made. There is a lot of support for you in this community and I am sure some of the members will put posts full of information, tips,and welcome you to the community. Good luck tomorrow.

[tw9356 in reply to MAS_Nurse]

thank you very much for your reply i will do that

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

You have listed quite a few emotions - have you tried keeping a journal? This way you can see patterns and these might help you to understand why you feel this way.

[20Voices]

HI, How are you doing today? How did you get on with the doctor.

It can be tough to speak to people we know and just plain tough talking about how we feel at times. I found it hard to talk about how I was feeling to start with. I just kept ignoring it and believing it would just go away. I found writing helped, it wasn't anything poetic or anything that others would understand. It was just scribbles of statements and thoughts. The more I did it, the easier it was me to understand how I was feeling.

I started writing checklist of questions for my doctor because I always got so emotional I forgot something I wanted to tell him or ask.

As you are a student have you checked what support is available to you?

I remember the pressures of studying and having a part-time job it was quite stressful.

You said you think you've had depression for a couple of years, have you done anything about how you feel before now?

You have done the right thing by making an appointment with your doctor and also posting here. You should have a look through the old posts you may find helpful advise.

I would also advise checking the Shaw Mind Foundation website and their resources.

The number one thing you need to do is look after yourself. Healthy eating, exercise, plenty of sleep and of course staying hydrated but not too much alcohol as that dehydrates you.

Also keep posting on the forum, don't be afraid to ask questions or post to say how you are doing whether it is good or not so great. It is not whining because you are just trying to figure out what is happening with yourself.

Also please remember that you are enough. The key thing that I had to learn was to readjust the standards I compared myself to as I have spent over 40 years feeling like I was not enough and that I must try harder. Now my mantra that I use is "Don't be so hard on yourself" and I learned to look at what I do and achieve in a different way so that I can compliment myself on what I do and I am still working on being realistic with what I need to improve on, but I am getting there.

With what I know now if I was 24 again I'd spend time learning about sleep routines, I'd eat healthier, exercise more and more importantly I'd development a good routine to help reduce stress.

Take care

[tw9356 in reply to 20Voices]

Hi thank you very much for your reply it means a lot, i think it went well at the doctors, it was a bit wierd talking to someone about how i was feeling, no i havent done anything before which i should have done, i do try and stay healthy i go the the gym and try and eat healthy so know it is time to sort how i feel out as well

Thank you for your advise and input

[20Voices in reply to tw9356]

It is hard talking about these things especially if you can't even explain it to yourself, that was how I was to start with. I went to try and explain it to my GP and just burst into tears and babbled so much I am not sure I made any sense at all.

It will get easier talking about it. Don't be afraid to get emotional sometimes it happens. AT one point I felt like I had cried enough tears to fill the bath. It was like someone turned the tears on one day and they would stop, I cried at movies I'd seen several times and not cried at before. I cried and songs. Now I am okay. I was a bit of a tom boy when I was younger so I didn't cry, I have certainly made up for it in the past 2 years.

It is good that you already go to the gym and eat healthy. Focus on these good things when you are having bad times because you are doing good things.

I'd also say that I look at my medication as a stop gap until I have learned the skills to support my mental health. They are like the training wheels they put on your bike when you first learnt to ride it. Once you were skilled enough they took them off.

That is what I am aiming for now is getting rid of the training wheels.

Take care and stay positive.

[red-butburgundy]

hi tw9356. You have done 3 important things to help yourself as far as I can see! i) You've recognized that you actually have a problem. ii) You're ARE talking about it,which is hard enough as it is and iii) You're seeing your GP tomorrow. Well done you! If you can pin point an event or time when these feelings of depression started then you can begin to understand why you have all these feeling inside of you now. Was there a specific time/event that may have kick started this? Have you been given the opportunity to work through these feeling with anyone professional? I hope your visit to your GP is a productive one. All the best.

[mysmugcat]

Also, my doctor said to me that if you have depression and drink too much alcohol that can drop you down emotionally more than before you started drinking. I may add to this post. Good luck.