Should I stay or should I go back to college?

[Luna_Peach]

I have had depression before a couple of years ago. Now after a really dark and boring winter it came back. And I find myself not able to face my acting school anymore. After the first few days I was breaking down and took a plane home, to be with my family. I felt extremely lonely as well. Now I booked a flight back, but I´m scared to go. I feel that I can´t handle the workload and stress atm. and that if I can force myself, after a few days I´ll break down again. I just need more time, but they might kick me out. I don´t know what to do

[Suzie40]

What would happen if you took some time out?

[Luna_Peach in reply to Suzie40]

I might lose my place at the school and would dissapoint a couple of classmates. Also i find it hard to write a mail to my school about why i need more time off. Also i don't know how much time i will need.I just know that i need time.

[Suzie40]

Would it be better to leave this year and start back in September?

[Luna_Peach]

That's not realy an option. I've already had a gap year because of money problems.so if i would leave now i would leave for good. I'd love to take the time i need and then slowly step by step get a job and take acting part time classes. The thing that troubles me most is the guilt i feel taking that step.

[Hecter]

Your health comes first.Is there a family member that you can talk things with.Isd there a friend from your college who could spend some time talking with you.Is there some counsellor at your college

[Luna_Peach]

Hi hecter,thanks for answering. Well I'm in my hometown now,where i have my mom and best friend. But both of them urge me to continue with my school in a week or two. I explained a little to my psychiatrist. So no i don't think i've got s

omeone to really talk to.

[ptrcopp]

Clearly this is difficult, and its no use reiterating this. I think you need to think about your overall well-bing; your future is also a part of that. If not attending college could relapse you in the future then it does not mke much sense to quit. However, if you could become even worse by doing it, and not get the grades you want or need then that would not be good either. A balance is needed, and you may not be in the position to completely see what this is.

How long is it before college finishes? And could you trust anyone there?

[Luna_Peach]

That is exactly what I have to descide. And no I don´t feel in a possition to see what´s best.

Well it´s not a college like that. It´s an acting school, where I can´t really afford to take time off to often. And if I´m not mentally well, the normal pressure and stress could easily cause another relaps. The school finishes this summer. Yes I can trust sveral People there, but the thing is it´s no use for me or anyone there if I´m unable to give it my all and handle the work pensum.

[ptrcopp]

Sorry I haven't responded before! I don't come on here often, and I couldn't work out how to get back on to this page.

Have you made a decision yet?