i HAVE A BIG PROBLEM, CAN NOT COPE WITH ANYTHING. lost MY JOB BEFORE XMAS -MY SILLY FAULT. CAN`T TALK TO ANYONE.

[GINPIT]

PPOINTMENT WITH GP,CAN NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE BECAUSE I LOOK SO BAD NOW.

ALL YELLOW AND NAILS BITTEN ,FACE ASH CANT WASH .

CAN NOT EVEN PICK THE PHONE ,CAN`T SPEAK PROPERLY.

TRYING TO LOOK FOR A JOi HAVE A BIG PROBLEM, CAN NOT COPE WITH ANYTHING.

lost MY JOB BEFORE XMAS -MY SILLY FAULT.

CAN`T TALK TO ANYONE.

WENT TO GP LAST WEEK ,THEY THINK ITS JUST ANXIETY ..WHICH I HAVE HAD FOR MANY YEARS.

I FEEL I CAN NOT GO ON ,LOOKING FOR WAYS OUT EVEN THOUGH MARRIED WITH A GREAT WIFE AND SON.

FEEL IT`S TOO EMBARRASSING TO DISCUSS THIS.

CAN`T MAKE AB ONLINE BUT EVEN THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO INTERVIEW OUT THE QUESTION,LOOKING LIKE THIS.

I KNOW THE GP SHOULD THE FIRST STEP, BUT THEY THINK I AM AFTER TABLETS

[downandout]

Ok well its not your fault, i think you should try and ring mental health or ask the doctor to refer you to mental health these are major warning signs that you are in a deep depression, and well i do know what that is like i was at a point where i would not answer the phone would not bother at all didnt clean myself or brush my teeth all the things you are describing and the mere thought of going out of the house would actually take me days of planning, I had to get food you see even if it was just bread so i just ate toast as and when to be honest i was still in contact with my ex husband at that point and well he actually would either turn up with milk and bread cause i had texted him or he would walk with me to the shop i could not go anywhere alone at all and the only time i went out was if he turned up and dragged me out the silly thing was that although it went on for a few months i always felt better having been out but for some reason as soon as i got home it just all started again and i would not leave, oh i did leave the house only to see my mental health team but if i could get away with just ringing them and saying i was sick or i had a headache then i did.

I had just lost my children into the care system and it was a form of grieving, i was beating myself up for being a good mum but agreeing for them to go to be kept safe from my ex yet as for me i did not care what happened to me, he could have killed me and i just would not have cared at all, but enough about me.

You need help you have taken the first step and admitted it, and whether you are after tablets or not they need to treat you and if they are not treating you just ring your local mental health team and speak to the duty worker, you owe it to you and your family you need to focus on how it would distroy your son and wife if you were not here, they love you and while they may not understand you the first thing you need to do is go and get the right help.

You can and will do it I know you will cause one day i did, i just thought why am i needing him to come help me when he is the one that distroyed the family and i just took charge again but i was on medication at that point and they had increased it as they said for what i had been through i was on too low a dose and they were the ones that upped it but i was toatally honest with them and i started to get me back, its been a long road to recovery but i have got there and now i am in court trying to fight the adoption order and my ex is making up all these lies about me in his statements trying to take me down but this time i am in control and i will not let him do it.

RIng Mental health they may even send someone out to see you

Good luck and am here if you need to chat or message me

Helen