What am I doing here?: Not sure what to... - Mental Health Sup...

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What am I doing here?

JJJ321 profile image
13 Replies

Not sure what to say & bit nervous writing this but come across this site and read some posts and found it helpful but now wondering if I should be as feel as if my problems are not worthy to bother others with.

Without giving my life history I have been having treatment since first going to GP back in 2015. Initially was due to significant weight loss and seen a dietician for almost a yr and was initially told an increase in weight would help (and resolve). It was hard very hard to put on weight but had something to focus on and got there. But mood still not improved, some days or parts of days I feel really good and then other times wonder what the point is.

I have a great family and my young daughter does help me get through the tougher times, it's like being around her I can switch off from everything else around me and the reality of life.

During the last 3 years I've never taken a day off work until 2 weeks ago even though there were some tough days and have never told anyone outside of my wife, 1 close friend & doctors. I tried to hide it embarrassment I guess, feeling of weakness. But few weeks ago I just felt everything was getting on top of me & couldn't cope. Nothing really different and all seem like minor points but just got too much and here I am off work at the moment.

Quite nervous now as going back to see GP this afternoon to see if fit to return to work. Part of me wants to as sign of getting better and think getting back into normal (whatever that is) routine will help but other parts not sure as still feel not motivated to do much, still not sure can cope and worried what to tell people when return. Feel comfortable (think) telling boss but not sure what to tell colleagues as don't feel comfortable. But not sure if this is clouding view? We'll see as talking does help me, writing this has (I think) helped a little.

13 Replies
MAS_Nurse profile image

H JJJ321, Welcome to our supportiv community. You have take a courageous step in opening up and making contact on this forum. An advantage of this forum is that it is anonymous, and we have community guidelines (see Pinned posts section) to protect and respect members. Your feelings about whether you are ready to go back to work yet, are understandable. It's good that your GP is supporting you, and maybe you could ask for a referral to your local mental health team for specialist input e.g talking therapies. Also, ask at work whether they have an occupational health service that you can speak too, who can help you, who can for example, make reasonable adjustments at work, provide a confidential interface between you and your employer regarding your mental health needs etc. Here is a link to what they do:nhshealthatwork.co.uk/what-... follow the in-article link to more detailed information.

You are protected in UK law under The Equality Act 2010, with provisions for disability both physical and mental long-term conditions.

Ok folks, please come alongside this new member and offer support and encouragement.

Keep in touch!

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

Suzie40 profile image

Hey, and welcome. I know what you mean about feeling weak and embarrassed. I was under the care of the crisis team in January but I discharged myself so I could go back to work. I'd never missed time before and I felt so guilty.

It's great that you have your daughter to take your mind off feeling rough; my daughter does this for me.

How did you get on with the GP? x

JJJ321 profile image
JJJ321 in reply to Suzie40


GP went ok (I think). Agreed going to try & go back to work. Don't think being off is making me any better (or worse). Longer I go harder it will be & more nervous & anxious I'll become.

Not looking forward to first day back but will try. Fingers crossed!

Suzie40 profile image
Suzie40 in reply to JJJ321

Glad it went ok. What kind of job do do you do? Could you go back gradually?

JJJ321 profile image
JJJ321 in reply to Suzie40

Thanks. Office based. Will have a chat with manager, pretty good normally but it’s a job where after day or 2 like never been away. Did discuss with GP doing some reduced hrs to start. It’s more the conversations with colleagues I’m worried about. Don’t want to tell them reasons & could do without the ‘are you better’ questions. Know deep down they mean well but could do without & not sure what to say.

welly10 profile image

Hi jjj321

Hi jj321

Use everything at your disposal for your well being.dont be embarrassed 1 in 4 will have mental health problems learn about the beast and learn to control the beast by the sounds of things you are addressing this problem early.i wish you well on your journey a good book is by susan jeffers it's called feel the fear and do it anyway.im male 48 and you do feel ashamed but there are lots of us out here with the same problems that are sharing them.good luck.

JJJ321 profile image
JJJ321 in reply to welly10

Thanks, I’ve done some reading but not read that book. Will look out for it.

Phillipaussie profile image

You made the right move mate, I know where you are at,I settled from Australia and worked long hours long weeks,ended up killing myself with work,now my body says no more,listen to your body,be kind to yourself and goodluck,plenty of positive feedback and encouragement on here.welcome aboard.

JJJ321 profile image
JJJ321 in reply to Phillipaussie

Thanks, appreciate it.

Finglas-Boy profile image

Hi III321 & welcome. This is a great site with some equally great & caring folk on it. I'm not on here as much as I'd like to at the mo but things are looking up so please feel free if you want a chinwag. Above all never be scared/fearful of posting. There'll always be someone around to offer advice/expertise.

BW; FB 🇮🇪

FrankMUrlin profile image


Happy to salut you.

Your honesty is surely so helpful to you and through your bravery to others also. You are the first I've felt the urge to respond to. The reason is simple, indeed, deceptively so. Philosophers all through the ages have asked, WHY AM I HERE? You could read their books in all the worlds' libraries and in all the worlds' languages. But the best answer to this central question is yours. If this assertion fits comfortably with you and if you woul ask me to unpack it further, with pleasure I would do so.

I once presented for others a Playshop entitled CREATIVE PHILOSOPHY. Might we agree that your daughter like probably every other child has asked numerous questions all starting with the word WHY? Hence, the way each of us answer that question can be the start of 'Making a better me'! If that's what you want sir, let it happen...Self-belief trumps all, thoughts feelings and attitudes.

May you succeed in this seminal quest.

JJJ321 profile image
JJJ321 in reply to FrankMUrlin

Thanks, really thought provoking. Why is the big question, not quite sure have answers yet but like the ‘making a better me’. I’ll aim for that but have some way to go yet as self belief still low.

FrankMUrlin profile image
FrankMUrlin in reply to JJJ321

I really do admire your modesty. It makes a good bedfellow with honesty. However, a journey asks that we don’t get stuck at any one crossroads, even if the distant destination seems veiled in mist. Might I suggest that the real journey is knowing your true complete potential and as with a fruit allow the worlds showers and sunshine to fully ripen all of your riches. To paraphrase what Socrates wrote, an unexamimed life is not worth living, unless to the full. For that surely, Self-knowledge leads to Self-improvement through Self-management. And eventually at best to Self-mastery. Daily incremental improvements in Self-belief will by the law of love in life let this happen. You in the driving seat, not a passive passenger. On route, enjoy the view!

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