Basically I feel like I have nothing. All I want is employment to move out from my parents so I won't be f-ing burden. I'll shovel s**t for 8 hours a day if that is what it takes. I'm fat and have a very unattractive face and "scare" a lot of potential employers. I understand them though, I wouldn't want someone like me in my company.
When I wake up I feel the day is ruined. I'm not suicidal, I've thought about it many times but I will never do it because my parents would get very sad. And I'm scared. There is nothing in my life that brings me joy, I feel like a empty husk. I've thought about therapy but that is expensive and if I asked for money from my parents I would feel even more worthless and they would blame themselves.
I'm every single. Not a single woman has ever shown interest in me ever which I understand completely. But I still want someone. I don't "deserve" it but I still want it, if that makes sense.
I've never had a girl friend and I'm still a virgin. Big surprise, huh?
I don't think I'll ever get to feel love that isn't family. I want someone that wants me. But that'll never happen.
My penis is very small. I feel that if by some weird chance I would get to have sex with someone she would laugh at me. I got teased for it in school. Bullied by everyone in class.
I don't have any friends. I had a few before but they all moved on and I'm still here. I have no one to talk with. The most social thing I've done this year is commenting on reddit.
I'm not looking for sympathy, I know I'm a lost cause. Worthless piece of garbage.
If anyone read this thanks for taking your time.