the bearer of bad news.....

[miserables]

I have suffered from depression since having my son 2 years ago. I actually believe I have suffered with depression for a number of years but recently things had got very bad to the point I was having suicidal thoughts. i have now been started on citalopram 10mg and have a weekly session with a counsellor. He is very good and has helped me talk about a lot of issues i have not dealt with in the past. One of theses issues was abuse i suffered from my aunts husband. he is still very much involved in our family and no one knows what he has done. I am worried he may do these things again to his own children or others.

I AM THE PERSON WHO HAS TO TELL MY FAMILY. this thought alone is killing me inside. Its going to destroy my aunts relationship and im not sure what everyone will think of me. Im having a real hard time atm as i know i will bringing the worst news she has ever possibly heard. not to mention all the other people who have to be told. please help...........................

[reggie]

you may not be the only victim put this to rest now what he did was wrong you need to report this for your own sanity and also to protect other children and if their is victims now you will also be saving them yes this will cause hardship in your family but it will also bring support from members of your family child abuse must stop in all its forms my thoughts are with you

regards brian

[downandout]

So sorry to hear this and i can understand how hard it is for you, is there another family member you can talk to and explain it too and get on your side, to try before you both go and see your aunty like say your parents etc, but I have to say no matter how hard it is you have to tell as Reggie says and well from the experience i have had being in parent support groups dealing with social services, i am kind of thinking that as soon as you say something someone else will also have the courage to speak out, it well abusers dont generally stop at one victim if they get away with it they continue, in my ex husbands family I know that all of his siblings including him were abused and raped by their uncle and it was only when they found out his sister was being abused they got out but they had no idea that the boys had been abused till i spoke to his mum when he was in his 30's and still she did not want to believe it but i say it in her face that it all clicked into place, the only reason nothing was done is because he had died, so there was nothing they could do, you must speak out even if you speak to your counsellor and they approach it with you by inviting a family member into the therapy, its worth asking him as it would break the ice and maybe allow someone that understands to get the message out and help you to take the next step, good luck and remember we are all here for you xx

Helen

[hamble99b]

I think you need to talk about this with your counsellor and possibly "Childline" - there used to be a link to a helpline for those abused as children.

It is not going to be easy and some family will not want to believe you BUT that is how these people get away with it., they rely and prey on that fear. You will need to stay strong and on here you will be believed and you will be supported.

To those in your family, the uncle has been living a lie so the relationship he had with your aunt was false. She is also one of his victims - even if you were the only one it still is wrong and needs to be told. .

Never Forget - You are not and never were to blame.

I am proud of you for reaching the decision to speak out. - when, how and if you do it is up to you and only do it when you are ready. It may help you if you were to write it down.

I offer you my support and prayers.

regards,

sandra.