Hi

[kitten7]

hi, I've been silently struggling with my depression for over 12 years now and have been on and off anti depressants, alongside CBT.

I finally decided to reach out to my friends about the struggle im having, they already knew I suffered from ongoing depression, yet I never wanted to burden them with my worries. When I did reach out, my cries for help and support were ignored.

I have just moved with work and have no friends to talk to here. My partner doesn't seem to be able to cope when I do talk about my worries, he just goes silent, which then makes me feel worse as if im troubling him.

I have been on my antidepressents for 3 years now and i feel severly worse at present.

is there anything anyone could suggest please? I feel very alone, but I want to get better.

thank you

[Satsuma]

Welcome kitten7 You have come to the right place here for support.

I hear what you say. Your partner closes up as he does not know how to deal with how you are feeling.

Try to make some special time for yourself and love yourself for who you are. Do what makes you feel good. By doing this you will create a more beautiful aroma around your being thus creating a happy vibe which will promote much needed positivity for your relationship.

We feel depressed due to unresolved traumas basically and we dwell on the sadness of it all in a consistent fashion. Day in and day out because it becomes a normal and disgustingly comfortable way of being and living, feeling and thinking. It turns into a familiar pattern of montonmous slug.

Now you have recognised this is wonderful that you want to exit this.

Congratulate yourself on your success at this great time. The only way is up. Woohoo, how wonderful you have come here. The first step of your success.

[kitten7 in reply to Satsuma]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, I will start doing that, I will attempt to rejoin a fitness club and aim to have more positivity through simple activities.

I guess one of the hardest part about depression is trying to make others understand. I get very deep depressive stages and I just want someone to save me. Perhaps I should start saving myself!! ☺

[Satsuma in reply to kitten7]

Exercise is phenomenal for the mind, body and spirit as you are aware and you will reap the benefits somewhat with a regular regime.

And yes only you can save yourself .. Enjoy this new journey of discovering yourself

[spykey in reply to kitten7]

Hi kitten7

A Very Warm Welcome to our friendly, supportive & non-judgemental forum!

Please feel free to post as and when you need to, and we will support you as much as we are able!

Sorry to say kitten, but Some people including our friends & family, don't know how to handle depression, & panic! When individuals mention depression some can automatically that you have some serious mental health problem that they don't understand! And some even think what you've got is catching!! And therefore choose to avoid us, or even cross over the road to avoid having to talk to us! I've experienced this with 'So Called Friends' and it's really difficult for me to handle & can increase my anxiety!

It's really sad to hear that you have had to live in silence for so long! It may be a good idea to visit your GP or see if your medication needs a change or adjustment as your feeling so bad at the moment! You are no longer alone you have our site family & you can post anytime you want to!

Take Care & Warm Wishes spykey🤗

[kitten7 in reply to spykey]

Thank you so much, yes it's really hard to deal with people reacting in such an unkind way. It is a massive trigger also! I'm so sorry that you also experience this. It's so cruel that people can be so cold, but yes alot of it is a lack of understanding I guess.

I think its a massive shock to the system when you find out these life long friends are in fact not even your friends.

My family suffers from large mental health problems, my mum has had very bad depression since I was a child. Having your mother crying all the time and not being able to help her is a troublesome thing I guess. My grandfather has the same and a few years ago attempted suicide.

I think this may be one trigger in itself, as i always feel too bad to bother her with my worries, as it seems to make her more upset. I am glad though as it often deters my suicidal thoughts as I know that my mother wouldn't be able to cope if I did.

Yes, I think I need to find a new GP and try to get myself back into CBT alongside some self help such as exercise and creative tasks.

thank you all for your kind words. I always feel like I need to apologise for talking about this stuff!

[tobie in reply to kitten7]

I feel for you kitten7 and what you say has really hit a raw nerve with me. There are surport groups about such as Aware have you tried them ? Are you near any collages some of them have lesuire class's such as craft , flower arranging , photography, lesuire art, etc

I myself can know the theory but it's putting it into practice is the hard part .

Best Wishes xx

[Goldfish_ in reply to kitten7]

No one else will sort it for you. You have to do it yourself

[spykey]

Hi kitten

You don't need to apologise here! I'm sorry to hear you've been through some rough times growing up and now, it must have been a really tough time having to go through So Much at a young age & through you're growing up & even now!

Have you tried online CBT some Drs recommend it to their patients! And there are various other sites such as moodgym, which may be helpful to you?!? I will see what I can find for you!

Take Care . Warm Wishes. spykey🤗

[kitten7 in reply to spykey]

I will have a look at online CBT, thank you so much!!

[spykey]

No probs kitten, good Luck with it!

Take Care spykey🤗

[Goldfish_]

It was fashionable a few years ago and a big earner for Jo Vitale, but the concept of Ho oponopo may be worth considering.

[HelpingHandSam]

Hey Darling, I know what you are going through i have been and still am going through it for 5 years now. If you need me just give me a message. I don't mind what time it is just message. Here for you xx

[kitten7 in reply to HelpingHandSam]

thank you so so much Sam! Same to you. I really hope that you are managing also. It's so nice to feel like im not alone.

just trying to overcome your inner thoughts! X

[HelpingHandSam in reply to kitten7]

Because of exams i do get Panic attacks but other from that i am attempting to do well. You are never alone. I'll Pray for you! xx