Need advice about my son who seems to be mis-diagnosed

[JBCJ]

My son is 21 and is a twin. He started having severe anxiety about going to school when he was in 5th grade. We struggled to get him to school for years and took him to a child psychiatrist, day tx program and several counselors. He was diagnosed with social anxiety and OCD. We tried several medications and finally the best combination seemed to be Cymbalta and Wellbutrin. He has been taking those meds for about 5 years now. He started doing quite a bit better his junior and senior years of high school. He graduated and got a job following graduation. He was going out with his brother and their friends quite a bit (he never really has had his own friends.) This went on for about six months and then he was given a different assignment at work that required more social contact and he didn't like that. He ended up quitting and has not had a job since. He has lost a lot of weight, started smoking pot, drinking and taking kratom. He stays in his room all the time and has stopped going out at all. He does like playing the guitar and drums. I had him set up with counseling and he refused to go. He has no motivation and even has a hard time articulating what he might want to do for a job, or anything else. He doesn't want to get a driver's license and he has no friends or girlfriend. He has two brothers, both working and going to college and have girlfriends. This explanation doesn't even begin to cover what my husband and I have tried to do to help him. I'm just out of ideas. I'm thinking there must be something going undiagnosed. I'm certain the drug use doesn't help, but that's a symptom, not the cause. Thanks for any thoughts or advice.

[Kelwil1981]

Hi I'm sorry u probally feel like your butting the wall? Can I offer some suggestions? What's does he like to do? Other then what's he's doing now. The only thing u can do ifs be patient. be less on his back.its hard but imagine his world it alot harder then wen we grew up a hell of alot harder. do things he likes to do camping maybe, if he's not going to school iv heard they now do appreciships from 14-19yrs maybe get him to something like that I mean to be honest you learn alot more out of school then u do in school he's just stuck in a dark place be patient and don't force him to talk sending u happiness and Lotta love xx

[Kelwil1981 in reply to Kelwil1981]

Also look into taking him of meds in not a doctor by any means but I'm sure once he finds himself doing somethin he likes and sees a bit of sunshine maybe things wil be happier for him I'm not a Councillor in anyway but iv lived a very hard very negative life and I can only offer my life experiences thank you for the question I hope it helps xx

[JBCJ in reply to Kelwil1981]

Thanks. I appreciate the response and the advice.

[Livinginthepast]

I think he is lucky to have a parent that cares so muchbut he wont see that one idea I have is what is he like with animals, I hear of so many ppl with social anxiety problems that find a dog or cat helps them connect with things where nothing else has worked - I suggest a softly softly aproach - leave a magazine with a cute dog open for him to see just let him take his time maybe - I was thinking of getting a little dog to take out help me get fitter etc & try to find what he likes ask if he wants to go with you to a rescue centre.....it probably would be tough going in many ways but it could be the key to help get him connected more to the world & have a reason to get up in the morning & go out etc

[JBCJ in reply to Livinginthepast]

Thanks. I like the pet idea. He loves cats. We have two already, but maybe he could get one that is just his. 😺

[BerryPebble in reply to JBCJ]

Hello

I just wanted to comment about how helpful having a pet can be with mental health.

I suffer from borderline personality disorder and ADHD and a lot of physical illnesses.

I’ve had a very traumatic life and my mental illness is a hard one to cope with.

I got a little dog from Battersea Cats and Dogs home who had been a stray and it was the best thing I ever did. He’s given me something to focus on and look after. I am forced to go out daily on walks and as a result I’ve met lots of new people who I chat to.

It’s also improved my health and mental state.

Animals give unconditional love and they are tuned in to your emotions. It might be good for your son, but it is a big responsibility, however I have found that caring for my dog has made me stop focusing on myself so much.

Maybe your son needs to be re assessed. Not all professionals make the right diagnosis.

He is very lucky that you are a caring parent even though he might not realise it yet he will one day.

Good luck

[JBCJ in reply to BerryPebble]

Thank you for your reply! 😊

[Oshunlvr]

2 things. Pets have been scientifically proven to help those of us who have anxiety and depression. Many people have support animals too.The 2nd thing thing is smoking pot. It will cancel out those meds that were working. It is a depressant. A lot of what you are describing is what I watched a loved do as he smoked pot 24/7 for years.

[JBCJ]

Yes, I agree about the issue with the pot. He is smoking pot and taking Kratom. I don't which is causing more of a problem, but he has indicated wanting to stop taking Kratom, so we are working with him on that for now. Thanks for the reply!