So..i got a boyfriend?: I know this... - Mental Health Sup...

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So..i got a boyfriend?

Robyn_xy profile image
6 Replies

I know this isnt exactly the thing to post on here, but i trust you guys for advice and i'd really appriciate some true thoughts on what im about to say. (I hope you don't mind my post)

Okay, so i've maybe mentioned before about this guy ive been in love (proper love) with for a year and a half. Well, it turns out he ikes me too, weve been going out for a month or so and he makes me so happy :)

but, he is 18. im 16. My mum would kill me if she knew. but i really like him, and i see a future with him. Ive met his mum and dad, and they both seem to like me! (his mum even invited me to her house to stay over for the weekend!)

I just feel bad because he is being so honest with me, and its all genuine, whereas im lying to my mum about where i am when i go to his house, but i really like him and i want her to know about him. But she will never approve.

He hasnt bought me ciggarettes or alcohol weve not had sex weve not done anything of that sort that people would assume. We're taking things slow, and we're best friends. I just want everything to be open.

what do you think i should do?

-robyn xx

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Robyn_xy profile image
Robyn_xy
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6 Replies
Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Robyn

I really think you should tell your Mum because if you were my daughter I

Would much prefer that than to find out that you have a boyfriend.

Your Mum I'm sure won't be annoyed or cross but I'm sure she will be hurt and

Cross if she finds out before you tell her.

Also telling her will take that guilt away so you will be able to enjoy your boyfriend.

It's very normal for a young girl to start dating and its best to pick your moment

And tell your Mum. You. Robyn you responsible and Are a great girl and mature and I'm sure she will be your

Friend, remember your Mum will remember when she had her first boyfriend.

Let me know how you get on.

Hannahxx

oxytic profile image
oxytic

Hi there robyn xy. well if you start the way you mean to go ,things will be great by the time you get there .. In other words start with the truth, that is the way you go to a happier ending .Hiding things will only make you feel guilty and that will lead to other things like depression and one small lie leads to more and more. We all wish you well; and trust the truth, its the truth that sets you free. bless you .best wishes eric x

Yes I would tell her too. She is bound to find out in the end so you need to get in before she does. You need to have a grown up conversation with her and reasure her you are sensible and are taking it slowly. If you act like an adult she will treat you like one. x

If your mum finds out that you've been purposefully keeping it from her then she'll probably think that you have something to hide & then she may not believe you when you say you haven't. Tell her & perhaps say that you haven't said anything before now because you thought she would be negative (this will be almost like a challenge for her to prove you wrong) but that you have decided to tell her about it because you a) have nothing to hide, b) are not embarrassed by it & c) because you are approaching the relationship from what you believe to be a mature manner in that you are both taking things slowly & haven't jumped into bed straight away.

Oh & well done on sorting out meds & getting help. Good girl :)

WantToChange profile image
WantToChange

My advice would be to tell your mum.

But I also have some other advice for you: Be careful. This is your first love ad you are still young. Men can be strange in a relationship. Although you see a future with him, he may not actually be thinking past tomorrow. At least that's my experience with guys I've dated.

What I'm tryign to say is be careful. It is so easy to get hurt and right now your hopes are sky high and if it doesn't work out you will come crashing down. Trust me, I've been there. I have always thought about the future and built it all up in my mind and the guy breaks up with me every time. But they always seemed so nice in the beginning, that's the tricky part. In my experience they try their hardest in the beginning and eventually they give up and show their true selfs. Men can be very charming when they want to be and it makes us melt and we fall in love.

I don't mean to be a downer, I just don't want to see you as hurt as I have been so many times. The first time was the worst. When you are 16 you think the first guy will be forever. And maybe this guy will be. I'm just saying be careful.

Good luck xx

SadlyDepressed profile image
SadlyDepressed

I think you should tell her before she finds out, but do it gently. She may be happy for you, in the end.

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