The last 2 years of my life have been turbulent to say the least. I split up from my gf of 8 years at the beginning of march 2019. A month prior, i was promoted in work. So this is where it gets horrific.
Break up start of march. Moved back to my parents 10th march. Covid happened on the 18th March where i am. I turned 30 on the 20 march. No one cared. 29th march. My nephew is born and almost dies in hospital (thank god hes here).
So this pushed me over the edge. I started running to take the thoughts away, but yeah ive been on sertraline ever since. I also started drinking ebery few days to take the edge off. This is my problem.
Fast forward through 1.5 years of depression. My ex (27) is diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. Im there for her, we speak everyday.
I couldnt sleep and was drinking heavily. We agree that she wouldnt reply unless there was bad news because i wasn't coping. Well she took the decision to cut contact completely. She has cancer, her heads a mess, i get it.
Anyway. I drink every 2 days. But not just a couple, i mean full on. The thought of going 3 days without is too much.. Depending on a downer, while im taking an upper (sertraline). Wtf is wrong with me?
Most times i feel like my depression is under control, but i was never this person before. I live in Scotland. It seems there is no support. What the fuck do i do now?
I have a very good job, but this is starting to. Impact onit. What do i do????