Depression. What's next?

[Jay11311]

Hi

The last 2 years of my life have been turbulent to say the least. I split up from my gf of 8 years at the beginning of march 2019. A month prior, i was promoted in work. So this is where it gets horrific.

Break up start of march. Moved back to my parents 10th march. Covid happened on the 18th March where i am. I turned 30 on the 20 march. No one cared. 29th march. My nephew is born and almost dies in hospital (thank god hes here).

So this pushed me over the edge. I started running to take the thoughts away, but yeah ive been on sertraline ever since. I also started drinking ebery few days to take the edge off. This is my problem.

Fast forward through 1.5 years of depression. My ex (27) is diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. Im there for her, we speak everyday.

I couldnt sleep and was drinking heavily. We agree that she wouldnt reply unless there was bad news because i wasn't coping. Well she took the decision to cut contact completely. She has cancer, her heads a mess, i get it.

Anyway. I drink every 2 days. But not just a couple, i mean full on. The thought of going 3 days without is too much.. Depending on a downer, while im taking an upper (sertraline). Wtf is wrong with me?

Most times i feel like my depression is under control, but i was never this person before. I live in Scotland. It seems there is no support. What the fuck do i do now?

I have a very good job, but this is starting to. Impact onit. What do i do????

[Hidden]

Sorry to say your ex girl friend has Cancer and now has decided a relationship is not really a pathway you both do not wish to take.

Throughout your life you will hit negative problems, like your Brother and sad to say when this type of negative situation will happen more frequntly and it never gets any easier,, I am seventy now and life has been at times very trying in my case most of my family have now dead, the number of funerals we will need to attend can be very hard, that is live, we live and learn.

There is nothing else I can really say, thats life

Never use drink as an excuss you will become dependent and you will travel down this negative pathway of relying on it. Yes I do drink, a couple of times a week a beer and Malt is enjoyable, although now I vary the days I drink and never in excess, no more than three days a week

BOB