Beginning the journey

[HBeebs]

I’ve known for a number of years that I suffer with some kind of anxiety disorder. I was first diagnosed with depression at 21. It took me a long time to recognise that a relationship I had been in for two years prior to this had been abusive in several respects, and I ended up in other toxic relationships and situations of sexual abuse for several years after this. For years I used substance abuse as a way to ‘switch off’ and I ended up with a diagnosis of IBS too.

Now that I have recognised all of this I am attempting to regain control of my own mind, body and relationships though I recognise this will be a long road to recovery. Currently my biggest struggle, aside from facing these realities and overcoming them, is opening up to my loved ones about how I am feeling. I also question constantly whether my current relationship is healthy and whether my partner is able/willing to give me the kind of ongoing emotional support that I need through this or if I would be better off alone. I am fairly certain that these thoughts are self sabotage to some extent but it’s so hard to know the difference when it feels that all I really do is worry and overthink things.

[Hidden]

Generally it is difficult to advise on relationships, however you have managed to walk away from some troubled relationships that made you lack trust of the relationship you are on now ? Only yourself can actually feel the relationship you have now is questionable, however I seem to understand this new Partner is not causing you any problems, you are wright to be cautious however it would be a shame to loose a relationship that is not causing problems.

If the problems you had in the past are making your worried, anxious, depressed etc, some CBT may help you learn how to come to terms with your problems. Your Doctor may recommend a course it will help

BOB