Scared outside: Hi. I'm scared of going... - Mental Health Sup...

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Scared outside

charleychic12 profile image

Hi. I'm scared of going out on my own. I feel like everyone is staring and laughing at me. It's actual terror. My body shakes. My mouth dries out. My stomach burns. I don't know what to do with my arms. I focus on all my faults, and become so self conscious of every single thing. I've told my doctor. I have severe depression as well. He prescribed mirtazapine, and said this would help. I love wearing a mask outside, and so i'm also worried about when we don't need to wear them. I wake up and i'm instantly terrified of the day ahead.

16 Replies

Charlie I gather you live in the UK if it is any consolation Personally I feel we will be wearing masks for a lot longer yet, So you will need to carry on for the time being . We have just been introduced to the new strain from India so we are not out of the woods yet.

You mention been put on an Anti-depressive, We do not know how long you have been on the medication however it does take about five weeks to get used to the medication, so if wearing a mask helps fair enough you are managing at this time

Do you have any reason to be Agoraphobic, or have you suffered for a long time

BOB

Hi Bob. I've been on mirtazapine for about 6 months now, and have recently been put up to the 45 mg dose which is high. I've been agoraphobic since i was about 25. I'm mid forties now. I've always been self conscious, but it all got very bad for no apparent reason at 25, and that's been it since. I'm always very self conscious, but i was able to sort of cope, and sort of brave it out, but the last 6/7 weeks has been hell.

I have a good idea how you feel, I have been fed up waiting for Covid to be controlled and now I am having problems with my H ealth and Disability'

I have begun to loose my site, now I am getting tests on Wednesday, they have known about this for two years now I have a Dental Appointment every three months as they cannot do any dentistry because of Anxiety. On Monday I am going to have full spectrum of Blood Tests because of memory problems before They start further assesments. So I am now preferring to stay at home. Sad to say I now bite the bullet and hope all the tests I have had over the last three months will soon be over as my confusion is really bad at this time

Has your Doctor suggested any Talking Therapy to help you pull yourself around. It is a good thing to get your confidence back so you can move on.

Have you worked out what has caused your problem. To understand the cause can help you work out the reasons for your problem

BOB

Goodness, Bob. I'm sorry you're going through all of that. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I think i feel like this because i've always felt inferior and ugly. Even as a child i remember feeling like that. I was also very shy growing up. My parents never really showed any concern about it. To be honest, they were always more bothered about my brothers and sisters. I'm the second youngest. Youngest was my sister, me,( i don't know if i said i'm female) then brothers, then sister. I always just felt in the way, and never felt like i mattered to anyone. I still do. I still feel like an 8 year old just wanting someone to help make me feel safe. I've been to psychologists, but they didn't help. Again, thank you for taking time to reply to me. It's very much appreciated.

Skye001 profile image
Skye001 in reply to borderriever

Hi,Bob just to pick up on your dental anxiety. I too am having extensive treatment and its causing my anxiety to go through the roof. I lost my nhs dentist because I didn't go for two years, I plucked up the courage and went private so as a result I am having most of my teeth extracted and eventually implants but it's going to take months, they will only take two out at a time so I'm having the next two on Friday so I'm getting really nervous and anxious again. On the upside I was in and out in 15 mins but it doesn't help with all the thoughts in my head. So I emphasize with you and all your different appointments.

borderriever profile image
borderriever in reply to Skye001

Thank you Skye, I was brutalised by various Dentists and School Dentist. I came to a head when I was very young and the County Dentist had to remove thirteen teeth to allow new teeth to come through. They were using Gas so they used a Gag to keep my mouth open, they left it in for the full proceedure for about fourty five mins.When I needed fillings they did not freeze the nerves and would do the fillings without.

When I was in my teens/ twenties the dentist would slap my face if i did not sit still, Later they had to remove further teeth to make room for others, they used Gas and I nearly did not come around.

So from then on I was looked after by the Dental Hospital they Sedated Me and would do all my treatments at one time, they are trying to stop this type of treatment because of My age seventy, so now my Dentist sees me every three months and does any remedial work without the drill.

I had sedation treatments from twenty eight to present day, I quite enjoyed it, I used to chat up the Nurses lol. No memories of treatment

How long will all this treatment take, it must be expensive. Have they started on the transplatation of two at a time, I could not go through the treatment, because of my fear.

BOB

Skye001 profile image
Skye001 in reply to borderriever

Hi, that sounds like you have had horrific experiences, I'm not surprised you have severe anxiety. My first bad experience was when I was eleven with the gas/mask but I managed to start going to the dentist regularly in my twenties, up until four years ago. I always felt nervous but nothing like how I feel now. It's all I seem to think about and to be fair the dentist is very sympathetic but I have to have 8.30 appointments or I would probably cancel. It costs £100 per extraction then I will need dentures until I can have the implants so if I do manage to see it through it's about ten grand. It's going to take months of fortnightly visits so I won't be able to relax this summer. Take care.

borderriever profile image
borderriever in reply to Skye001

Skye I have a very strange relationships with my Dentist, they do my checkup and then they just refer me to hospital, for that second opinion before a Sedation Appointment where they renew fillings on a regular basis and do any treatment for fillings and crowns and generally that does if until my next checkup. Although now I am on a three month review. My dentist is trusted although my old Dentist retired not so long ago.

I was looking at the transplant you are getting treatment is so intensive for me so I will wish you luck and hopefully you will be pleased with the result. Private Dentistry can be more sympathetic with there customers treatment, it is an expensive form of treatment Do you know regards proceedure

My Father was a Chief Dental Technician for our County at the time and was not very understanding although He was also Anxious when going to get His Teeth done.

BOB

Hi Charlie, I suffer with Agoraphobia, I have most of the symptoms you are describing plus a few more I suffer with severe Anxiety and Depression also, so one feeds the other, I Love the Summer because when I do go out I can wear Sun Glasses along with my Headphones to cancel out the noise outside, I had a Spinal Op November of 2019 which has not worked but this is all added pressure, I was going to get help with my Agoraphobia from my Support worker then the Pandemic hit and everything went pear shaped then as we started to ease I had a phone call to say that he was leaving since then I have not heard anything, I have not got any good advice I wish that I had, for me this is what I do, I built myself a studio in my Bedroom and make music every day, I build things for it go online etc the night before I put this into my Head then I don't feel it so much in the Morning, I would Love to go out I Live near a park so would Love to go and just sit there for a while but I cannot but I have accepted this now so that helps, I am not saying that what I do makes my Days Special because it doesn't, it just makes them a little more normal, If wearing your Mask helps, do so it does for me, I also take Mirtazapine, I take it at night because it helps me sleep and it took about six weeks for it to kick in properly, the beauty with this Site is that you can come on here and just say, what you are going through, When you do go out use the face mask, try some music concentrate on that, take a bottle of water, (for the dry mouth) this way you are all togged up, and ready to do battle with the outside, sorry I can not be of more help, Coming on here was a good step, I wish you all the Best 🤗

charleychic12 profile image
charleychic12 in reply to ZeN01

Thank you for replying. Unfortunately i had a very bad episode outside, and am now so very embarrassed avout it, that it's made me worse.

Hey I need your help. Want to send a list of great music for a dear friend she’s special and can u help make a list of music for me to make as a tape play nice songs?? Oh I used to be very self conscious but one day I reakized. Ding everyone is soooo busy with their own lives. Guess what Hahaha. They aren’t thinking of me in bad way at all. Just worried about their bills or kids. Ha freedom

Hi Charlie, living in the UK we are more fortunate than most due to our vaccination progress. I've been taking mirtazapine for a few years now & I found they really help me. I too live with anxiety. I really do think you have been so brave in reaching out on here, it's a huge step. It's easy for us to focus on our faults I like to call them "differences" because we are all different & no one is perfect!! As hard as it may seem try to look at our difference's in a positive way. Honestly I've found that if we concentrate on on our"faults" as you put it, others will too. If you want to wear a mask out in public then wear one, like others have said it will be more the normal wearing masks than not. Mirtazapine will help just give it some time. Bless you xx

Thank you very much.

Hi there, I haven't been on this site for ages but thought I would have a little visit. I totally relate to the mask wearing thing! I have Rosacea and am a chronic blusher to the point I have a phobia about blushing which then makes it happen! Arghhh we are our own worst enemy at times. Anyway after months of picking up my daughter at school with the mask I am now terrified of it coming off, the school gates are my WORST nightmare, second is a dinner table with people I don't know. But I do challenge myself and I notice at certain times of the month it's worse. I can say that escitalopram is a god send, on 20 mg I had almost no fear of blushing, hardly, if ever blushed, felt confident and my ocd disappeared, but, the jaw pain side effects were awful and I tapered down to 10 mg which is okay but i'm slightly on edge. I really don't want to be on them all my life either... I did try cbt, have you tried that? It did help to an extent, on occasion I have been able to talk myself down. My cbt therapist

said practice trying not to focus on myself in these situations, and think of others, what they might be feeling , thinking, going through, and you know, nine times out of ten we are not even on their radar! Easier said than done, I know...

When you go outside have you got something you can take with you to feel protected? Something you can keep in your pocket and hold, so you don't have to worry about what to do with your arms , maybe a crystal for confidence or a small wooden figurine? A special pendant? When you have a scary thought in your head have some positive thoughts to counteract them and question them. I know it's hard and it's *****ing exhausting!!

Do you have hobbies that you love to do? Does this affect your work if you do work?

Hope you're doing okay today! Don't be hard on yourself, you are the way you are, you just have to find a way to live that works for you. Do more of the things that make you feel calm and happy.

🦋

Thank you for your help, lily Rose. I'm so embarrassed by a recent episode that i can't even share it. I'll certainly try your tips next time i go out.

You're very welcome. Oh my goodness, I have so many embarrassing memories because of social phobia...one that sticks out was when I locked eyes with someone 'cause I thought I knew them and then I realised it was a celeb and I panicked and went bright red, then tried to cross the road to avoid passing and guess what, there were roadworks stopping me from crossing, so I had to back track and cross elsewhere making it really obvious, blushing furiously and nearly getting run over! What must he have thought? I can see the funny side now, but not then... Please share what happened if it helps. Maybe I can cast a different light over it.

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