So my last working day at the hospital was expected to be next Friday but HR have finally got back to me and said i have 4 days of leave left, which i'm taking. Because the bank holidays of course that means my last day is tomorrow!!
As much as i hated this job and it made me incredibly unhappy, i'm almost scared now the final day has come. It's just, it's what i know now? And my future is still unknown. I'm not at all saying i regret leaving - i don't. Several people in the hospital have congratulated me on leaving while i can and how it is not a nice place to work. I'm just petrified of whats to come.
In all honesty i'm mostly scared for the recruitment process. Last time i applied for work before this placement, i must have applied for over 60 places and didnt get a single interview. I'm hoping things will be different now with a good reference and some experience with a well known and strict employer. Even so i'm scared for the interview stages, i'm scared for being new to something again. It's just all so scary!!
I knew i would have to reapply and the whole reason for quitting first was so that it wasnt so overwhelming but i am just really quite frightened.
Also a bit worried for the all the attention tomorrow as it will be my last day, i hate being the focus of everybody. And i'm dreading actually leaving at the end of the day! Usually i will rush out and give a polite "see you tomorrow everyone" or "have a lovely weekend bye". But this time round i wont be able to rush out and i'll probably have to do some awkward goodbyes. Why can't i just slink away 😂