To everyone with suicidal ideation, please read.

[jonghee]

I was always depressed but never really planned to kill myself. More like I just didn't want to wake up. Then one week, Christmas week to be exact, I got my monthly ritalin, this one from a new manufacturer. I became intensely depressed. My body kept spasaming and the pain was brutal. Plus, I felt like crying all the time. It built up to a point where I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so close to swallowing every pill from my cabinet to my parents cabinet. I did all the stuff suicide websites said to do to make it successful. Somehow I found the courage my local crisis hotline. I went to er and psych unit, and upon discharge went home with some meds. Turns out, the FDA issued a warning to kvk tech, the manufacturer, because of its impurities and quality control. I am so glad that I didn't commit suicide. It would have been over a pill. A damn pill. I know this doesn't apply to everybody, but my point is to hang in there. With everything you got. Don't be ashamed or scared to reach out. Get a medical bracelet for mental illness and an app for suicide crisis help. Here is a link google.com/amp/s/www.tomsgu...

[Hidden]

It's good to know the alternative and that you can reach out

[Laurennnnnnn]

Oh my gosh I’m so sorry you went through that!!

Your post is so interesting to me and SO important. I tried a new antidepressant last year and went from very causal “I don’t wanna wake up” to “I am going to kill myself”. I didn’t realize it was the new prescription until I ran to my pharmacy and told them how I felt lol

[jonghee in reply to Laurennnnnnn]

Yes, this happens a lot with psych medicine. The history of class action lawsuits against psychotropic medicine is long and vast. For example, I used to take wellbutrin generic. Apparently, there were problems with the generic version. Abilify is the worst of all. It made me so compulsive I spent all the credit I have and during that period I ended up stealing from my parents. I felt so guilty after I stopped taking it, but there are many stories just like mine where people were left in financial ruin and stole from friends and family to pay for their gambling addiction. What antidepressant are you on? I'm a freelance researcher, I can pretty much find out anything. Good luck and stay safe!

[Laurennnnnnn in reply to jonghee]

I’m on pristiq now and it works well! I ended up doing the genetic testing to see which pills I would tolerate best

[jonghee in reply to Laurennnnnnn]

Awesome!! Glad to hear it. Keep me updated. I'm waiting for my genetic test kit to come in the mail. Take care!

[Laurennnnnnn in reply to jonghee]

Thank you and good luck with the kit! It saved my life

[jonghee in reply to Laurennnnnnn]

[Hidden]

Lots

People helped me

More than one can say

[Hidden]

Glad u got through it

[jonghee in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. Much appreciated.

[Daz2310]

I tried last week it’s rock bottom

[jonghee in reply to Daz2310]

Whats causing you to feel rock bottom? Let me know all the details.. I've been in the psych unit too many times to count,, a year of feeling suicidal and spending all day reading about how to do it.. So hopeless that I wouldn't even post on this board.. The fact that you're replying fives me confidence that you want to live,, and are reaching out for help because you must be in a lot of pain.. You don't want to die, you want the pain to go away. Let me help you. I had nobody acknowledge how much I was hurting. Nobody. You have me. Feel free to message me. I'm here for you. Your pain is my pain, and I will share it with you if that means it can lift you up. Hang in there. Whenever you're ready, I'm here.

[Hidden in reply to jonghee]

Partner

The pain

Is real

Biochemistry

U can't control

Didn't ask for

And or

Shity life

All real

We don't care how many times u in the ward any more than someone with cancer

It's the shits its hRd

It hurts

Damn right

C

U

Tomorrow

Got

It

Big plans. For U

[Mijmijkey74]

What's scary is just how many people many have actually taken their own lives because of impurities in the medication they had taken that they didn't know were there like you didn't, but like you could hold on, they sadly couldn't but might have been able to had they been made aware.

[jonghee in reply to Mijmijkey74]

It's sadistic. The pharmaceutical companies. And how insurance makes you get generics. There's a huge difference. As if the mental health services aren't adequate enough in this country. It is VERY difficult to find a good psychiatrist. Luckily, there's affordable apps for a short session second opinion. I did just that, and found out I have a malpractice case. And he was the one who prescribed it to me. A**hole.

[Hidden in reply to jonghee]

Yep

So

C

Ur

Hrlping othdrs

Fight back

Helped me

No one but I

U

Would believe my story

C

Yur

Suffering

Helps. Others

C

U

Tomorrow

A holdr. Yep

Fully agree

[Hidden]

Was told rt from beginning by bad doctor

No

Bitching

Had just come off two years. Mash like conditions

Should have wasted his office

Callef my fiance my fav dykr

Hang doctors in effigy

[jonghee in reply to Hidden]

What did he do to you? I'm on a mission to make all corrupt doctors pay. If someone makes a mistake in good faith, I can forgive. But way too many a$$hole psychiatrists like to play God and take advantage of us at our most vulnerable. F*** them. I could care less about money. I want to hit them where it hurts - get their licenses revoked, rob them of their soul. I'm here for you, brother.

[Hidden in reply to jonghee]

Heybilluons of this billions

Fry that sob. Totalky destroyed me and my life and my mind.

Tell u soon

Fry the bad ines

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

We're backfriends aelcomr priceless

Tho u

Solk l sorry for what I've been th r ouch

Through