I was wanting to post with tales of improvements and big achievements for my next update but unfortunately last week had some truly terrible episodes for me and I feel a bit broken. So I thought I would try something different. I was trying to picture what a good month would look like, not a fantasy one but a real one. My example is below, it would be awesome to hear what some of your 'good months' would be.
So here goes........
' Wow that was a good month. Managed to do my full time hours at work and made some good progress on that project that has been worrying me. It was lovely having a coffee and meal with Jackie, walking the dogs in the Trossachs was awesome. Managed to walk the little dog nearly every day and she seems happier for it. Went to choir four times and didn't miss a week, even managed to memorise a song! Getting up is getting easier and I have lost a bit of weight through eating no takeaways (well there was that one curry). Got the new canoe and fitted it out, first trip out from luss on to Loch Lomond was terrifying but camping on the island was so cool. Went on two walks with my walking club, starting to remember people's names now. Wrote a few replies on Action for Depression, hopefully it helped. Next month I have my first trip to the hospice with my wee dog who I have signed up as a therapy pet, nervous but it will be nice to make people smile'.
Looking forward to reading about what a 'good month' would look like for you guys.
Thanks for being there, Matt
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MattBuckland
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A good Month,i would hope would be a good few months(like last year where it was just 10 months of motivation pure high concentration goal orientated) just working out 4 days a week eating clean,counting those calories,lifting weight's and just feeling "normal(if this is what normal is)/pumped/motivated"
Granted in turn i had some un-realistic idea's or maybe they were realistic but i never really pushed forward with them.
Well i did apply for the police and they said no, kind of glad they did considering the more i think of it the more i think maybe my "mental state" would not be in the interest of doing such a job anyway.
Also made plans to go on holiday's here and there,again doubt those are going to happen,also wanted to buy a car but ended up buying other crap like ps4,92 inch projector screen,projector etc etc crap you can't drive ha.
Anyway back on topic.
I Felt like a completely different person then,compared to now where it's just crap.
I ask my self what feeling normal is all the time,what might seem normal to me might not seem normal to someone else,
but what is normal to someone else might not seem normal to me,so in
hindsight i think the word normal is debatable.
That or generally, i am just thinking into it to much.
That is a lot of thinking but if you had those ten months then you can have them again.
As for planned holidays, I have cancelled so many and wasted so much cash, but I actually went on one last week even though I felt lower than a slugs belly, and although it stressed me half to death, I (shock, horror) enjoyed it.
I would replace that word 'normal' with 'acceptable' and you are the one that will have to accept yourself. I know that is what I have to do but at the moment I am not sure how to.
Last week I had no hope, but this week even though I have my doubts, surely it is not too late for either of us?
Thanks for posting back and hope you can get your mojo back.
I have always been my own worse enemy,always been a self critical individual,always tell my self "I could of improved on this or done this better or that better"
And yeah sometimes it is difficult to switch off the brain,and yeah im starting to build up the confidence of actually considering going to the Drs after all these years of "self torture".
This last month has flown by. I'm not on the meds anymore, wahoo! We've finally started trying for a baby, and I'm so excited to look ahead. Ive come to terms with my loss and the fact that my life hasn't turned out how I planned.
I can't remember the last time I had a panic attack, and I'm just experiencing the highs and lows of life, as opposed to the lows and lows of depression. I don't worry about holding knives and I haven't felt sick being in the kitchen for ages. Heck, I've even baked.
I don't aim to be happy, because happiness is a flighty butterfly that lands briefly in moments, but who is never meant to stay. I've made plans for the future; I'm socialising again, making new friends, cherishing old ones.
I'll still be here, I hope, offering a helping hand.
Lori
Xxx
P.s this is a useful exercise, but at the moment, I just feel the loss of what I can't achieve yet.
That made me smile all the way through😀!! Mine would be to sleep right through the night without waking up once!! To feel refreshed and rested to start the day. Have a bacon, egg and tomato sandwich for breakfast!! In fact scrap that I'd go for a full english😉 To spend the whole day with my soul mate just chillin and laughing all the time. He is funny and if it wasn't for him I'd be much worse!!😁 See my kids everyday !!! We all live away from each other so I don't see them half as much as I want too!!! And my beautiful adorable grandchildren all four of them!!To never feel sick once or cry. My head would feel clear all day and not have brain fog. To have lots of energy and not feel tired once.spend my days flower arranging which I love, Happy Days 😀👍🙏🏻
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How do you guys cope on Sunny days like this?
New Category for "Action on Depression"? Positives? Happy things? What do you think?
Don’t hate what you don’t understand.
