Long distance relationship

[dmike19]

Okay so I don’t really know where to start, umm so give it take 4 months ago me and my girlfriend started going through a rough patch and everything but during that rough patch she felt like she needed a break from our hometown and everything in it because she felt like it was dragging her down. So she bought a plane ticket to Arkansas to stay with her sister for month(this was in April or may ) and I ended buying one to visit her for a week. So while I’m down their we started to argue one day and it go brought up that she’s staying their for a couple more months. And like anyone I went back and fourth with her about it. Long story short those couple months were really hard on me because I’m the type of person that needs physical love(not sex) just like hugs or whatever the case may be but we ended staying together and she ended up moving back here right before my birthday in august. She was here for a month then she had a wedding down here and her sister came back down here to in September. Then one night she called me outside to talk about her leaving again for a year to get more money and to better her future and stuff. Because in Ohio it’s 8.50 for minimum wage and 10.50 in Arkansas. I understood a part of it but I also felt like she was playing games with me like you just got back a month ago and now your gonna leave me again for a whole year. The she brought up the idea for us coming to see each other, I was like it could work idk. With me being the type of person I am I’m always in my head at all times of the day, I over think, I get anxiety and I feel like when she’s here she helps me a lot to not do that stuff. So she ended up leaving to go back to Arkansas for a year and it’s only been 2 and a half weeks since she left and these past two weeks have been harder than the other months were. And like a part of feel like I deserve to be selfish because I already sacrificed our time together to let you leave or whatever. But I also feel like i should support to the best of my ability so she can have a good future but doing a long distance relationship is just so hard on me mentally and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve talked to her about it today and she says she doesn’t know what she wants me to want her to do. She needs more money for a better future but I also gave her the idea that she can get a 15 a hour paying job down here and do everything that she’s doing up their down here. I don’t know I just need some advice or something. Because I’m really in my head about this and it’s taking a. Toll on me. And we fight more when we’re in a long distance relationship

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Would she mind if you followed her to Arkansas?

[dmike19 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

No she wouldn’t but that’s the problem, I’m in college and I play collegiate football

[dmike19 in reply to dmike19]

After Christmas I start my spring season and I go back to campus and where am I gonna find the time to go see her? Thinking about it I won’t be able to see her until school is out

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to dmike19]

So you’re fulfilling your goals. I would suggest allowing her to do the same. If you to are meant to be together you will work it out.

[Baggiebod]

Sometimes, difficult as it is, you have to face the possibility that she is trying to end the relationship. Perhaps she feels she is weaning you off gradually bit by bit to try to minimise the impact? Maybe it would be advisable to allow her to do her own thing in the other town, staying in touch but in the meantime increase your own social circle? It could be that if she sees that you are coping without her and building a new social life to fill the void, she will get a little jealous and want a closer relationship? And if she doesn't, then at least you will have other people in your life and social events to help you meet new people and potential new girlfriends.

I hope it all works out for you.