Can’t cope

[Bw_123]

I’ve had an awful few years, I feel like every year something bad happens to me that changes my life and I feel like this year in particular is breaking me. I have a two year old already as much as I love her it’s hard and I struggle being her only parent and person who looks after her constantly even while I’m writing this she’s throwing a tantrum i don’t even have a home. I had a miscarriage in June, me and my boyfriend were so happy to be pregnant and I feel like because I wanted it it got taken away from me and now my boyfriend no longer wants a baby, and now I have just found out my best friend is pregnant and I’m trying but I can’t be happy for her, I can’t even see her I really haven’t stopped crying everything is just going wrong I can’t see my life ever getting better I feel like I’m always going to have this dark cloud hanging above my head I really don’t know where I was going with this I just don’t know what to do anymore

[Solow87]

I hear you. I think with my endless bad luck/lack of nice things my way, ive decided im just here to be proof how much bad/unlucky stuff can keep happening to one person!

I'm very sorry to about your miscarriage.

I can understand not being able to be happy for your friend.

Bless you being a single parent, and going through the terrible 2s stage by the sound of it.

Do you have any family/MH support?

[Bw_123 in reply to Solow87]

I feel the same I feel like it’s never ending😢 she’s definitely going through terrible twos, I have family but I have no one that supports me. My parents don’t want me to live at home and I also can’t live at my boyfriends so I’m in such a rut, everyone keeps saying I’m just being sensitive about the baby situation but it’s the worst feeling ever wanting a baby and not being allowed to have one and also seeing others in my life have that

[Solow87 in reply to Bw_123]

How heartless of them saying 'you're sensitive!' If they knew that pain I bet they'd singing a different tune, wanting your sympathy!

I used to want children after i met my boyfriend (falling in love and thinking there might be hope etc etc). We've had several convos about it, but theres always been excuses, ('he's afraid how I'll cope, afraid he wont be a good dad, thinks we should wait til we get our place' and so on and so on).

He has younger sibs and all of them now have children, the youngest one earlier this year on valentines day, felt like that was the last straw on that subject! (He's since brought children back up on sunday just gone 'saying if we have kids....'. Then he went on about wedding stress, who we'd have to invite... I just let him talk, sounded like he needed to man vent! Haha. Then I've got my sibs who all have children too! Sigh. And when i see some mums with their children, who clearly shouldn't be mums... i could go on but i won't.

I've struggled with places to live all my life. We should've had our own place this year, but f***** covid has ruined/delayed that! (He's never moved from home and never wanted to rent!)

Where are you living now if you dont mind me asking? Have you approached your council? Do you get any support from your docs/health centres?x

[formidible]

Time really is a good healer Bw. I'm really sorry to hear your story. I'm sure things will get better for you. At least you have a son you love and a partner. When your son grows up you will understand how strong you've been. As fur having another baby, there's plenty of time to decide that and your husband may change his mind. I'm sure he's thinking of you and your well-being all the time. I think it's important for you to talk to someone independent. Do you have any other relatives that you can trust? If not the the Samaritans are really good. They will listen to you and understand what you're going through. You don't have be social at all. I'm sure there are other help and support services near to you too. Worth doing a Google search. Have you thought about taking some kind of break or holiday? It sounds you might need that, or have something good to look forward to. My to thoughts are with you.

[Hidden]

You mention the Father of your Child prefers to live at home and your Parents do not wish to have you back at Home. I understand their feelings and you need to consider some help looking after your two year old.

Is your Boyfriend the Father of the Child, if so He needs to step up to the plate and give you help and understanding. How old are you both. It is no good having another baby in the situation you find yourself in.

Is it possible your Boyfriend will move in with you then the three of you would become a family. I do not say get married although whatever you decide you can both fulfill your obligations with your little girl and also any other children that are born into this world.

Life is hard, we all have problems, mine is disability, I need a carer, my Wife does that form me and gets an allowance for my needs etc

I would not expect you to get married although you need help and if your BF is the father he also has responsibilities to you and child

Have words with your Doctor, and you may be entitled to Social Help

BOB