Bereavement & support

[maemae86]

I lost my dad to covid in April. It’s surrounding me and all I hear about all day every day is covid / lockdown / quarantine / deaths and illness etc. It’s overwhelming.

I’ve been going through a downward spiral of self destruction, binge drinking until I can’t remember things and even lashing out when drunk.

I’m in pain every day and I’ve been making mistake after mistake and hurting my mum too who is going through enough.

I have reached out for support but I am so scared of the consequences of my behaviour and I just feel so down and disgusted with myself

[Dolphin14]

I am so sorry for your loss. It's understandable you are in a lot of pain.

You need to let that pain out. Not mask it.

Are there any support groups for families that have lost loved ones during the pandemic?

General on line grief forums? Have you checked to see if there is one connected to HU? Find a therapist perhaps?

Please stay away from the news, it just makes things worse.

Again, my condolences to you and your family.

[maemae86 in reply to Dolphin14]

I’ve deleted all of my social media because I was just drowning in the misery of it all.

Thank you for all of your advice, I have an appointment with a therapist on Thursday as I know I have deeper problems than just what has happened recently.

I just wish I could find peace and escape x

[Dolphin14 in reply to maemae86]

I'm glad you are seeing a therapist. Hopefully you will be guided in the right direction.

Grieving can be a long process. Allow yourself the time you need to grieve.

I've had my share of losses. But, I imagine losing someone during these times it very difficult.

I hope, even for brief periods of time, you can have a moment of peace.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[maemae86 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you for taking the time to support me. I feel very alone and I’m hurting so much.

I’ve made so many mistakes I cannot be forgiven for

[Dolphin14 in reply to maemae86]

You are not alone. There are many people here to help you.

Take one step at a time. We all make mistakes, we are human.

Take time to grieve first. Emotions are so heightened when we grieve. Be kind to yourself.

[Hidden]

I am so sorry. You are deeply in my thoughts and prayers 🙏

I can't imagine what you're going through. It's a very sad time for you and your mum. Grieving is different for everyone and is expressed differently in each of us. Mum's grieving as a wife and you grieve as a daughter.

Everyone here is here for you anytime. There is a grief forum here and I wonder if that may be of some help to you since I'm sure you're not the only one since many people have lost loved ones. A friend sadly lost 4 family members and can't bring herself to go back to work.

I'm here for you and pray for you. 🙏. God bless 🙏

[Hidden]

I am sorry for your loss...

I tried the binge drinking in the beginning of this but....it didn't help. I forgot about certain things but....felt terrible.

Excersize has helped me. Just walking. Hard.

I think if you apologize for behavior that is not true to who you are, those you have hurt would understand. Flip the situation.

Sounds like self care is in order.