Struggling

[Lilyh8]

Hi, I’m new here. I’ve been struggling a lot with feelings of depression during this lockdown and it seems to be spiralling downhill. Two days ago my boyfriend of a year ended it with no reason and then completely ignored me and cut me out, so I’m trying to deal with this and generally feeling low anyway

[Emmajane1984]

Hey I'm new too. Feeling the same just empty . Think lockdown isnt helping . I was fine before all this . Sending you virtual hugs xx

[Lilyh8 in reply to Emmajane1984]

Thank you so much, it doesn’t help matters because there is no distractions, constant time to think. I find myself getting caught up in what might he doing. It hurts not having answers. Sending hugs back! Hope you’re well xx

[Hidden]

Hello, Welcome Lily

Life is hard, like you I have had relationships that have ended after many years and it is never easy. However if it was a first Love or similar that can just make matters worse and it can take time to pull ourselves up and over to start again.

Give yourself some time, try not to take someone new on the bounce.

Probably it is all for the best, the relationship has ended when it did, If you settled with Him it would have been a real problem, You will find someone new

BOB

[Lilyh8 in reply to Hidden]

Hi, it’s just so hard not knowing and letting your mind spiral, just emptiness. Deep down I know if someone can treat me like this after it might have happened further down the line. It’s just a massive heartache! I hope you’re doing well and thank you for the advice!

[Hidden in reply to Lilyh8]

Lilya

Move on and live your Life there are people out there waiting for someone like you.

I went through an extensive list of people who I thought had a possibility of being a soul partner, They all failed to hit the mark.

However I eventually met someone some of my family likes, a local girl, who some of my family had heard of and that was it we married and now been together for forty years.

It is well worth the wait my family and relatives thought I was not the marrying type.

We are at peace with each other and we live our life, also have the same interests as each-other

Keep Safe

BOB

[MrRigatoni]

Hello pleased to meet you thank you for sharing what you going through.

One of the problems with the situation right now is the concern for those who are experiencing mental health .

I am sorry to hear about your relationship and if I can offer compassion, empathy.

Any thing to do with mental health needs addressing first call my suggestion please talk to your GP.

I can add the following mental health charities if your UK based are often a good source of help and support.

I have here the details and also helplines to talk to some one.

Talking and discussing the problems you have is a good idea because what can happen the negative thoughts you have.

These start to be spinning around in your head which effects in turn the inability to function, work, eat, sleep and can cause other health issues.

There are staff in the mental health charities who can help offer a lot of reassurance and information to cope.

These are the details.

richmondfellowship.org.uk

You can self refer on the website or talk to your GP to refer you.

mind.org.uk

They have a helpline can talk to some one whom can talk to .

Helpline 0300 123 3393

Please if I can advise know this is a lot of pain and unable to understand the reasons why your relationship failed.

Please it is never your fault and have to admit never blame yourself.

Please I am aware memories last long and linger but also it is thinking positive finding help and support.

Your important and need to say that to your self.

Find things and activities hobbies times to heal and recovery small steps.

I suggest volunteering I know in these times may not be an answer but there are on line websites forums and charities always need volunteers.

Use your skill abilities talents to find solace well being and health necessary to focus.

Make a list of achievements goals and aims that you wish to complete and would consider doing this helps the mental mind becomes a positivity thinking .

Use the following foods and nutrition to heal help.

Whole grains Pasta Rice or Bread. Plenty of fruit and vegetables.

Lean meat and avoid alcohol caffeine in teas, coffee and chocolate, energy drinks. More you consume worse depression can become.

One good thing is you have come on to here to ask for help and support talking.

One suggestion another one is to understand your feelings write them down . Create a comfort zone from your own personal belongings and items you love like.

Can be books favourite passages text from books poems. Music favourite songs, photos and so on.

Please if I can help or be supportive ready to listen anytime.

Please get in touch.

Please take care

[Lilyh8 in reply to MrRigatoni]

Thank you for this advice and help. My difficulty right now is just getting into a mind set of anything that isn’t sad. I have so much time on my hands which I’m trying to fill with distractions but it’s always there and I have contacted some mental health support sites however it didn’t seem to be beneficial for me. I feel quite trapped with my own brain and I can’t seem to get past this barrier in order to do anything else.

Thank you for responding, I hope you’re well.

[MrRigatoni]

Hello please can I thank you for contacting me , yes that is good contacting mental health sites.

These are not the answer the big question you need to ask yourself do you wish for to have calm deal with your issues and identify ways to have a strategy and plan.

Take me for example had a bad day yes I am human do have them even though advise others your good self.

So on with the uplifting music somethings help learnt this from support services charities staff teams.

Have to think of if you can please look at the websites I provided in the previous post if you live in the UK.

Please I know this may sound frightening and scary but have to share with you many people from all walks of life enrol.

Could be a new beginning new start many staff of these organisations are Mothers have children have experience of what your going through .

Have a ladies women's groups talk with others befriend other Mothers and can give you reassurance confidence.

I know in other Countries there will be services like this if your in another Country I know all paths and journeys are difficult day to day.

What happens if you do enrol they evaluate come to your home or maybe choose a place your comfortable with.

Discuss a care plan series of steps to cope deal with issues. Agreement with you no one tells you what you need but you have to be honest and open.

Write it down need help with this.

One important point refuse or deny or even do not wish to ask for help your decision .

They have to move on to the next clientele sorry I know harsh but the precise moment is it is important you have to know this.

This situation the services are expecting huge swathes of clientele wanting help.

Please can I do an scenario a positive piece of reassurance .

Two people on a path each of you have baggage suit cases of problems and issues all heavy burdens.

You stop because a stone a large on in your path, do you go around or stop.

The other person has gone over and around to the green pastures.

Got the support the advantages the opportunities to deal with problems issues.

The support this person has identified and given them new information, advice. Looking at work supported by the help.

Benefits extra money they did not know they could qualify for.

Help to get around and lots of new doors opening, meeting new friends associates colleagues.

This person is doing well being discharged after three years let say now can cope and deal with pressures but also can support others.

Social lifestyle opportunities have been rewards happiness even got information to help with housing or social problems had before.

Local services not listening need repairs help some one not doing there job so support from charity intervened.

One other with there help gone with this person to GP been a difficult relationship get palmed off with wrong medication does not look or want to know.

Support staff with advocate services have joined together to seek the right medical care from GP.

This person on the way to being well again.

Question to you who do you wish to be standing still behind a stone can not move or this person.

Deep down you want to be do this, anxiety is playing a part I know.

The end result is what you want. Not me I would hate any one to miss out on opportunities lifestyle changes and doors being open to end up a new life.

Just a thought, please if you need help this the way.

I hope this helps you understand please ask me any questions happy to help.

I advised helped many members of many community social websites and continue to do so.

If I can.

Thank you for reading please take care of yourself .

[Ricewoo]

Sorry to hear that just hang in there it will get better I tell myself that these are strange times