What now?

[Clockwor]

Ok. I'll try and sum this up. I ditched my boyfriend of nearly 4 years because for the past 6 months hes been treating me like a maid, had a terrible attitude and contributed less than minimal financially meaning I would have to do most cleaning, juggle finances, do without and then we would fight.

I put down my 12 week old kitten due to bone infection that could not be treated before Christmas.

My grandma just died. I didnt have much of a relationship but seeing my mum so emotional is really hard.

And finally my aunt elaine is dying. This woman is not a blood relation but might as well be with how close our family are. Last year she was healthy as a horse and is now in a hospice with days left and I'm terrified to see her so weak.

There is no question in my mind ditching the no good bf was the right thing. But now.....I feel numb.....empty....like over hardened to everything. The only thing I have is my job. I love my job.

I find myself avoiding my few friends, not wanting them to see me like this or be in the way. I feel like a spare part....like anyone been around me is just putting up with me cuz they pitty me. I dont want that. I find myself craving someone to talk to but I cant talk to my friends.

I don't understand how I can be so numb. I only feel loneliness. Nothing else. Like I'm drifting in the middle of all emotions.

What do I do?

Thanks for reading.

[hypercat54]

I'm sorry you are going through such a terrible time. At a time like this I would share with family most, but my friends would be there too. If yours can't be then they aren't true friends but more fair weather ones. x